My Funny Valentine

Gah.  As if Monday wasn't depressing enough, now it's Tuesday.  I have no qualms with Tuesday on a normal basis.  Tuesday is, by and large, a nothing day.  However, this particular Tuesday also coincides with St Valentine's Day.  It does make me wish I owned a copy of Some Like it Hot though.  Best St Valentine's Day Massacre film ever.

I must say I often feel sorry for St Valentine.  All of them.  There were about a dozen of them altogether, who comprise the modern-day Valentine.  All the original Valentinus wanted to do was get on with the day to day aspects of being a Christian in Ancient Rome.  Get up in the morning, have a wash, eat breakfast, have a bit of a pray, fight a couple of lions in the afternoon, come home for tea, have a bit of a pray, go to bed - that sort of thing.  But no, the blokes in charge wouldn't have it and got a bit narky about him believing in one God rather than all seventy eight billion gods that the Romans had.  When he tried to explain things to them in a rational manner, they freaked out and attempted to stone him to death:

STONER 1:  Woooahh... dude, that guy's talking about one God!
STONER 2:  Dude!  That's so narly, dude!
STONER 1:  Totally bodacious!
STONER 2:  Let's stone him!
STONER 1:  Dude, we've not got any spare, and my dad'll totally freak if he knows we've taken his!
STONER 2:  Dude, I mean, let's throw large rocks at him!
STONER 1:  Oh...!
VALENTINUS:  That's a little harsh, isn't it?

[VALENTINUS gets pelted with stones]

STONER 1:  That'll teach him, dude!
STONER 2:  Yeah!!
VALENTINUS:  Hahaha!!!  You missed me, you missed me!!  I'm still alive!!

So then the stoners passed him onto the beheaders - and they didn't miss.  Poor old Valentinus.

So, you may ask, what has that got to do with Valentine's Day as we know it? 

Chuff knows.  It's all about the media and marketing nowadays, in a ploy to fill the shelves with booze and chocolate in order to ruin everyone's diets.  I mean, the original Valentinus might not have been married.  He might not even have liked girls.  Or boys!  He might have just been all about the lion fighting!!  I bet he would never have made anyone feel inadequate for being single, though.  If Valentinus had any inkling that his name would be exploited in this manner nearly 2000 years after he died, I bet he'd be well narked.

So, no, today will not be a day of diet-breaking for me.  I must say, during the weekend I did have a bit of a wobble, but didn't cave.  There were sausages (Synful ones!) in the house.  And white bread.  And butter.  I cannot tell you how much I craved buttery toast.  God.  I could almost taste it, all salty butter and crispy toast all fluffy on the inside...!!  I feel like Homer Simpson...

No.  I was strong.  For all the good it'll do, I resisted temptation with the iron-like resolve of a girl who has seen lots of pretty dresses that she'd like to be able to fit into one day.  I have to say I'd done rather well on the not-wobbling front up until this weekend, but I've been feeling very wobbly indeed over the last few days and just wanted to eat absolutely everything I've laid my eyes on.  Whether or not it's edible.  "EAT DRUMS, EAT CYMBALS!!!" 

I'm going to have a day off on Saturday when Jo and I go to see Olly Murs in Manchester.  I can last out until then.  No.  I have no idea what I'm going to wear.  Everything I own is a bit old and battered and either slightly too big or slightly too small.  Never mind.  I'm sure I'll think of something.

I shall likely post again tomorrow.  After all, Wednesdays are only slightly less miserable than Mondays and besides, I haven't really started panicking about my impending weigh-in yet.  Knowing my luck I will have put weight on.  Which is really depressing because we've had a rather skint week and I've hardly eaten anything at all anyway!!  Ho hum.  Just one pound.  That's all.  Just the one.  Just one little pound.  I'm not after much...!!