I think you know who have the hooves like Jagger. Hit it, llamas!!!
*shimmys around the room in a frenzy*
NB: Just to confirm, the llamas are only dancing. I don't want anyone to think that they've been goosestepping onstage in Munich like Jagger did in the early 60s. They're sensitive souls, my llamas, they're not a controversial breed of llama. They're all about celebratory dancing when someone loses weight. And Ricardo, my lead dancing llama, has just invested in some gold lamé leg warmers... so that might give you some sort of idea about the kind of llamas I have on my team.
I know, I know what you're saying. This kind of celebratory fiesta is a little excessive for a person who has only lost 2lbs. It's not as if I've lost 14 stone in one day (© Peter Kay). Although that'd be very helpful. Well, in the words of Jimmy Cricket, "There's more, there's more!"
I was quite pleased with myself, as you can imagine, after drinking like Oliver Reed at a lock-in on Saturday night, and also after my scary dream on Tuesday. But I was sat there, quietly minding my own business, texting everyone frantically in a "Look at me being skinny!" fashion, while everyone around me chattered among themselves. The meeting started a bit late, and Andrea the Consultant said that there were a few certificates to hand out that week, so she decided to start with the Slimmer of the Month award.
"The Slimmer of the Month lost 9 1/2 lbs this month!" she declared.
'Cor blimey, that's a lot! I wonder how much I've lost this month?' I thought, tilting my head and looking a bit gormless as I attempted to add 1 1/2 and 1 together.
"It's Heather!" she finished.
You can imagine my shock, I'm quite sure. I mean. I've been whinging about not losing enough, about not losing fast enough and generally about the fact that it's now been seven weeks and I'm not yet slim enough to be Catherine Zeta Jones' body double. And yet, there I was, trudging along at a slow and steady 'losing between one and two pounds a week' manner - and it's little ol' me that gets Slimmer of the Month! *excited jig*
¯Nice and easy does it - ev'ry tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmme!!!¯
Even more excitingly, the timeline thing on my weight-loss planner has changed dramatically. I am now looking to achieve my target by the end of October. But I'll certainly be well on the way by the beginning of August. I did say last week or the week before that I knew August would be a bit of a big ask, so having October to aim for is a lot less disheartening than the middle of April next year!
So, everything seems good again. I'm really happy with yesterday. I know losing 2lbs a week is never likely to break any records, but if it gets me to where I want to be, I'm delighted with that. From now on I will adopt the mindset of Auntie Heath (the Diet Lama menioned a few weeks ago - still not to be confused with either the Dalai Lama or, indeed, my dancing llamas) and think that *any* loss is a great result.
Remind me of that on weeks where I've been really good and only lost half a pound...!!
So. Tonight, Rachael and I are going to see Pete Firman at King George's Hall in Blackburn. Blackburn is probably not the most glamorous of places, but tonight it will be filled with magic - and comedy, as the man who has been dubbed 'the poster boy for magic comedy in the UK' comes to town!! So excited. I mean. I don't think I could be more excited if I tried. It'll be a great night - I just hope that he doesn't look our way when he decides he needs a volunteer for a trick, I would literally die of shame... and then send Rachael...!!
I hope you all have a really exciting weekend jam-packed with frivolity. Join me again on Monday for a full round-up of tonight's frivolities and a look to another exciting week ahead!!
That's wonderful hon!
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