So, yes, it's been ages.
2013 was officially the worst year of my life. Turning 30, surprisingly, was the least traumatic event of the year. Most of my pals know the main things that have happened to my family and I this past year, and just one of them would've been enough to send anyone over the edge - but the culmination of all the traumas ended up with me completely losing it in July and I've been too ill to work since.
Not to mention the fact that the RSPCA have revoked my llama-keeping licence. I sent the boys on holiday to Bolivia and apparently that makes me responsible for the veritable epidemic of llamas in Bolivia. Trust me, nobody was more surprised than I was. All this time I thought they were gay.
Anyway. Now it's 2014 and I haven't stopped thinking about the fact that I've hit the big Three-Oh and still not actually achieved anything I'd set out to achieve. My twenties were mostly a dreadful waste of time and energy. I don't even remember most of them, they were such a non-event. And I'm buggered if I'll waste my thirties in the same way. I don't want to wake up one morning and suddenly realise I'm 40 and be at the same point in my life that I'm at now.
So that's sort of part of the reason I've decided to lose weight again. For the last time. I've really no intention of putting myself through this more than twice. I haven't weighed myself yet but I'm pretty sure I've put all five stone and then some back on. To be honest, the way last year panned out I'm amazed I haven't put twice as much back on. But last year is over. It's time to stop moping and wallowing and sort myself out once and for all. And with everything else spinning horribly out of control - the one thing in my life I do have any say over is what I put into this colossal sphere with limbs known as my body. Maybe if I can get one thing under control, other things might follow. One thing at a time, and all that.
After having lost weight and put it on again, I am aware of a few things. My size actually is important in the way I feel about myself, no matter how much I would like to believe otherwise. I don't judge other people by their size or their looks, and most normal people don't - but I really don't need any excuse to find something to hate and judge myself over. Although intrinsically I'm the same person I always have been, I do know that when I was a bit smaller I wasn't so terrified of going out in public. I'm never going to think I'm in any way awesome, but I know I did get to the stage where I didn't feel like I was too fat and too ugly to live any more. That was quite a nice feeling. I never felt pretty, but I at least felt average-looking, which was a really huge leap for me. Perhaps that's the ceiling. I can't be proud of myself and I can't love myself or like myself - but I KNOW I managed to feel OK about myself. I'd like to feel OK again.
I am not going to rejoin Slimming World, however, I am going to try and stick to the principles of it as closely as I can. It isn't a diet a person can realistically live with for the rest of their life, but there's no denying that their methods do work, Also, I don't want to set myself a time-based target to lose weight by, because I know it took me years to get this gigantic and it's going to take a similar length of time to start looking like a person again. So if by June I haven't lost three stone or whatever little goal I might have in mind, I don't want to freak out about it. It'll happen eventually because I'm going to have to make it happen. Sadly, nobody's gonna come along, wave a magic wand and transform me into Scarlett Johansson!! I have a dress size in mind, rather than a weight. It takes longer to lose a dress size than it does to lose a pound, so that's why I'll be weighing myself once a week. Last time my big letdown was the fact I didn't really exercise, so I know I need to prioritise doing that. Even if it does look like I'm gaining weight at first - someone please remind me that muscle weighs more than fat!!
I'm going to keep the blog going again as well. It's good therapy for me and you never know, hopefully it might help other people too - especially people who've lost a significant amount of weight and then put it back on. It happens. I know I'm not the only one who's done it - and it's nice to know that other people feel the same way and have the same experiences. Being fat is isolating enough without feeling like you're the only one who feels the way you feel. Yes, you do feel ashamed of yourself for being weak enough to get yourself back to the very place you didn't want to be in - but you don't just have one go at weight-loss. For some people it's not an issue, but for a lot of us it is truly a battle - and the one thing you need in a battle is support from your pals. I know how much the support of all my friends meant to me and how much it genuinely helped me keep going when I thought I couldn't back in 2012, and I know I can't do it again without the same encouragement.
I've binned the chocolate. I've knocked booze on the head. Bread and I are no longer friends. I am going to adopt my game face, I will have a cast-iron resolve and hey, eventually - I will have one hell of a wardrobe. In the meantime, I've got work to do.
Now then, where did I put my Skip-It?!?!
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Monday, 6 January 2014
Friday, 14 September 2012
Get. In.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome everybody to my formerly thrice-weekly blog which now appears to be my once-in-a-blue-moon-but-more-commonly-on-a-Friday blog.
So anyway, this week has been rather non-eventful. I mean there's really not been much to report of anything, it's all work and very little play. I've also gone back on the wagon and sobriety really isn't the most cheerful of mindsets for anyone, especially when you can't even substitute it for doughnuts or chocolate cake.
I hadn't really given a great deal of thought to the diet, particularly, and in fact, as my weight loss has been so hit and miss over the last ten weeks or so, I was quite convinced that if anything I'd've put weight on this week. Especially when I realised that I've not been eating nearly so much veg as I should be eating. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "There's always next week, I'll try harder then! I've still got another six weeks to lose a dress size, no big deal."
Imagine, then, my surprise when the scales declared that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs!!
The llamas were chuffed. They're all ready to go with this week's fiesta, so without any further ado - hit it, lads!!
Whew! That was great, boys!! Just the job!
I was delighted with that result. I honestly didn't expect it. I thought my weeks of losing big numbers of lbs were long gone, and that it'd be a slow and boring, pleasure-free road to box off my last three stone, half a pound here, a pound there... I thought it'd take me The Rest Of My Rotten Stinkin' Life to do it. But now - now there is hope! Now there is a little bright, cheery spark in my heart that says, "Come on, Spevvo, you can do this!! You're probably not really too far now and you'll be legitimately skinny rather than just relatively skinny in comparison to your former spherical physique!"
I mean I have to do it and I have to do it soon. The time left is reduced. I've done all right so far, like, and aside from just not stressing about things and following the plan as best as I can, I'm not 100% sure what else I can do. More fruit, more veg, I don't know if I've ever recommended green tea and a slice of lemon, but trust me, it works. It's an acquired taste but it's a taste well worth acquiring. It'll all come off eventually. I'll soon be svelte. I'll achieve voluptuous rather than rotund. I'll wiggle in all the right places. This will happen. Because if it doesn't, I think I'll cry. Which won't be a remotely helpful reaction and it won't even make me feel better about it but it's the one thing slightly more positive than jumping off a tall building.
The thing that cheered me up the most was that finally, Andrea the Consultant told me that I was really doing well. She said "You're disappearing before my very eyes! You must feel great!!" I genuinely didn't think she'd noticed. A couple of the ladies in group have come up to me and been like "Good grief, you can really tell you've lost weight, you're looking good!" which is really nice, but it was great to finally get a bit of a high five from the lady in charge. She's never been discouraging or dismissive, I'd like to make that clear, but I just genuinely didn't think she'd noticed, and that because she hadn't said anything I mustn't actually look like I've lost any weight. Which obviously is a stupidly warped thought process, I mean for chuff's sake I've lost 60lbs now, I must literally be the only person on earth who hasn't really noticed the difference in me!! In fairness, I avoid reflective surfaces like the plague and whenever I look down at myself all I can see are my bosoms and my hair so I suppose the fact they're still very much there isn't too much of an indicator about how well I've actually done.
So, I went home and had a yummy Slimming World tea of sirloin steak, new potatoes, and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. It was fabulous. My sister is officially the best cook in the world.
This weekend I'm going to a party on Saturday, which will be great. I'm still on the wagon and I'm the designated driver so I'm going to have to do the Being Sober While Meeting New People thing, which is a little worrying, but the people I do know who are going are fabulous so I'm sure it'll all be great. The only problem is that nowadays I only have clothes for work and clothes for the Kingdom Hall. I have no other items of clothing, and as I'm an anti-social sod, I definitely have no party clothes. I'll probably end up going and looking really overdressed. But at least I won't be scruffy!!
Join me sometime next week. Definitely on Friday, when hopefully I'll be even closer to my 4 1/2 stone shiny sticker!!
So anyway, this week has been rather non-eventful. I mean there's really not been much to report of anything, it's all work and very little play. I've also gone back on the wagon and sobriety really isn't the most cheerful of mindsets for anyone, especially when you can't even substitute it for doughnuts or chocolate cake.
I hadn't really given a great deal of thought to the diet, particularly, and in fact, as my weight loss has been so hit and miss over the last ten weeks or so, I was quite convinced that if anything I'd've put weight on this week. Especially when I realised that I've not been eating nearly so much veg as I should be eating. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "There's always next week, I'll try harder then! I've still got another six weeks to lose a dress size, no big deal."
Imagine, then, my surprise when the scales declared that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs!!
The llamas were chuffed. They're all ready to go with this week's fiesta, so without any further ado - hit it, lads!!
***AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIBAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!***
¯ La cucaracha, la cucaracha, dah dee dah de dah de dahh...! ¯
Whew! That was great, boys!! Just the job!
I was delighted with that result. I honestly didn't expect it. I thought my weeks of losing big numbers of lbs were long gone, and that it'd be a slow and boring, pleasure-free road to box off my last three stone, half a pound here, a pound there... I thought it'd take me The Rest Of My Rotten Stinkin' Life to do it. But now - now there is hope! Now there is a little bright, cheery spark in my heart that says, "Come on, Spevvo, you can do this!! You're probably not really too far now and you'll be legitimately skinny rather than just relatively skinny in comparison to your former spherical physique!"
I mean I have to do it and I have to do it soon. The time left is reduced. I've done all right so far, like, and aside from just not stressing about things and following the plan as best as I can, I'm not 100% sure what else I can do. More fruit, more veg, I don't know if I've ever recommended green tea and a slice of lemon, but trust me, it works. It's an acquired taste but it's a taste well worth acquiring. It'll all come off eventually. I'll soon be svelte. I'll achieve voluptuous rather than rotund. I'll wiggle in all the right places. This will happen. Because if it doesn't, I think I'll cry. Which won't be a remotely helpful reaction and it won't even make me feel better about it but it's the one thing slightly more positive than jumping off a tall building.
The thing that cheered me up the most was that finally, Andrea the Consultant told me that I was really doing well. She said "You're disappearing before my very eyes! You must feel great!!" I genuinely didn't think she'd noticed. A couple of the ladies in group have come up to me and been like "Good grief, you can really tell you've lost weight, you're looking good!" which is really nice, but it was great to finally get a bit of a high five from the lady in charge. She's never been discouraging or dismissive, I'd like to make that clear, but I just genuinely didn't think she'd noticed, and that because she hadn't said anything I mustn't actually look like I've lost any weight. Which obviously is a stupidly warped thought process, I mean for chuff's sake I've lost 60lbs now, I must literally be the only person on earth who hasn't really noticed the difference in me!! In fairness, I avoid reflective surfaces like the plague and whenever I look down at myself all I can see are my bosoms and my hair so I suppose the fact they're still very much there isn't too much of an indicator about how well I've actually done.
So, I went home and had a yummy Slimming World tea of sirloin steak, new potatoes, and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. It was fabulous. My sister is officially the best cook in the world.
This weekend I'm going to a party on Saturday, which will be great. I'm still on the wagon and I'm the designated driver so I'm going to have to do the Being Sober While Meeting New People thing, which is a little worrying, but the people I do know who are going are fabulous so I'm sure it'll all be great. The only problem is that nowadays I only have clothes for work and clothes for the Kingdom Hall. I have no other items of clothing, and as I'm an anti-social sod, I definitely have no party clothes. I'll probably end up going and looking really overdressed. But at least I won't be scruffy!!
Join me sometime next week. Definitely on Friday, when hopefully I'll be even closer to my 4 1/2 stone shiny sticker!!
Friday, 31 August 2012
Le Gasp!! Il Gaspo!! Die Gazpen!!
Yeah that's right, so shocking I had to say it in French and then translate it into Spanish and German.
The shocks are manifold in this blog entry, so if you're of a nervous disposition I'd recommend changing your knickers now and bringing a spare pair back to the computer with you, just in case.
Firstly... I'm writing a blog entry!
I know, it's been ages. Well, I had my mojo working - but it just didn't work on slimming. I ate. And I drank. And I was merry. Well - I may say I was merry, but actually it was just one long stretch of beating myself up for being weak-willed.
Also, it turns out that I am still very addicted to chocolate. I thought after giving it up for eight months I'd be absolutely fine. No. Not at all. In fact all I want to do with my life is to eat chocolate for breakfast, dinner and tea, give up work and eat my body weight in cocoa-infused products. It's a dangerous substance.
Anyway. I think I'm back on the straight and narrow now. I said I'd give myself twelve months and it's only been eight so, y'know, I won't give up.
The second shocking revelation in today's blog entry is this... the llamas will be having TWO fiestas today!!!
I know, after weeks and weeks of training, they're finally ready for two fiestas. The first one is because, two weeks ago - I finally got my 4stone award. Take it away, chaps...!!
*dances round like a mad eejit* Phewf!!
Yeah, that's right, four stone - that's 56lbs to my American pals and 25.4kg to my... metric pals. It's a small child. Or at least a substantial percentage of the average adult. I only got my certificate on the night, they'd run out of shiny stickers, but fear not, I've got my shiny sticker now and it's there, shining proudly on the back of my Slimming World book.
The second fiesta will come later.
The third shock is this - after nearly two weeks of eating and drinking like an attendee at a Roman banquet, I hopped on the scales last night at Fat Club, and lo and behold, I'd lost a pound!!
I was convinced I'd put at least 10lbs on. At least 10. I'd really given it a good go, y'know. I had chocolate, and doughnuts, and... a lot of booze... and takeaways, and crisps, and basically everything I haven't had in the last eight months!!
In fact, I was so convinced that I'd ruined things for myself that I seriously considered just quitting and carrying on the diet from home. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect of getting back on the scales. I knew exactly how much I'd gone off the rails. Although, to be fair - I've really got Jo to thank that I've got this far anyway, she's an amazing cook and has really kept me on the straight and narrow far more than I realised.
Thankfully, I had a stern talking-to from various friends and family members, and so last night I trudged down the hill to the Church Hall to hop on the scales. I dunno if I've mentioned, but the song that always plays in my head when I get on the scales and get a good result is 'You're the Best' by Joe Esposito (the theme tune to The Karate Kid - the real one, not the silly remake). It was like it was playing in some sort of quadrophonic stereo type capacity when I saw the scales say I'd actually lost weight!!
And now - the FOURTH shock of this blog!!!
The song faded out as the Weighing Lady (I think her name's Natalie but I'm not sure. I really should find out, shouldn't I, I've been going for eight months!) started interrogating me about whether I'd been to group last week, or the week before. I felt a bit guilty but I told her I skipped Fat Club last week and didn't stay to group the week before. She started mumbling to herself and then asked the Check-In Lady (Dawn) if it was definitely me, and Dawn said that it was, and then after a few moments' conflab between them, the Weighing Lady and I had the following conversation:
WL: Because, erm, well - you've been named Woman of the Year!
ME: Oh yeah, right!! Hahahahaha!!!!!
[awkward pause]
ME: What, really?!
WL: Really.
ME: Me?!
WL: You.
ME: [points to self] ME?!?
WL: Yes, that's right.
ME: You mean.... me?!?!!???
WL: [rolls eyes] Yes, you!!
ME: Are you sure???? There must be some sort of mistake!!
WL: No, no, it's you.
[SPEV gazes off distractedly as the record player in her head starts up again - "You're the best... AROOOOUUND!! NOTHIN'S GONNA EVER KEEP YOU DOOOWWNNN!!!!"]
Unfortunately, Andrea the Consultant was on holiday, and so I won't know more about it until next week. I have no idea what it means, but the reports all seem to suggest that I will be getting a certificate, hopefully a shiny sticker and, most excitingly of all - A SASH!!!
That's right, all I'll need is a peaked hat and I could join International Rescue.
So, when I told the llamas, naturally they were all delighted and started leaping about (gambolling, even, I think you could say), doing back flips and Miguel even moonwalked down the street with happiness. Our Joanna cried. It was all very exciting. The latest member of my dancing llama troupe, Pedro, called up one of his 'contacts' and actually arranged a float for the second fiesta!!! I mean it's only a milk-float but you've got to take what you can get, right?
Without further ado - let's all shake our maracas, shimmy like we've no backbone and roll our Rs in a celebratory Latino fashion!!!!
I'm amazed and shocked and... well... Amazed. I can't believe people actually voted for me. I didn't think anyone noticed - I mean not even I've noticed! I hope I don't have to say anything next week.
So, if you've not died of boredom yet, that's basically what's happened over the last couple of weeks, slimming-wise. It didn't feel as though a lot went on - but clearly, it did!! Fabulous.
I've got eight weigh-ins left before the Michael Nesmith concert. I would love to have got my 5 stone award by then, and I'll certainly be working towards it. I've done it four times before so I don't think it's exactly impossible. But it'd still be nice to have done it by the time October 29th comes round.
Join me again - next time... whenever that might be.... maybe next week... when I might have something else to say. Possibly....!!!
The shocks are manifold in this blog entry, so if you're of a nervous disposition I'd recommend changing your knickers now and bringing a spare pair back to the computer with you, just in case.
Firstly... I'm writing a blog entry!
I know, it's been ages. Well, I had my mojo working - but it just didn't work on slimming. I ate. And I drank. And I was merry. Well - I may say I was merry, but actually it was just one long stretch of beating myself up for being weak-willed.
Also, it turns out that I am still very addicted to chocolate. I thought after giving it up for eight months I'd be absolutely fine. No. Not at all. In fact all I want to do with my life is to eat chocolate for breakfast, dinner and tea, give up work and eat my body weight in cocoa-infused products. It's a dangerous substance.
Anyway. I think I'm back on the straight and narrow now. I said I'd give myself twelve months and it's only been eight so, y'know, I won't give up.
The second shocking revelation in today's blog entry is this... the llamas will be having TWO fiestas today!!!
I know, after weeks and weeks of training, they're finally ready for two fiestas. The first one is because, two weeks ago - I finally got my 4stone award. Take it away, chaps...!!
AAARRRRIIIIIIBBBAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ole!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit* Phewf!!
Yeah, that's right, four stone - that's 56lbs to my American pals and 25.4kg to my... metric pals. It's a small child. Or at least a substantial percentage of the average adult. I only got my certificate on the night, they'd run out of shiny stickers, but fear not, I've got my shiny sticker now and it's there, shining proudly on the back of my Slimming World book.
The second fiesta will come later.
The third shock is this - after nearly two weeks of eating and drinking like an attendee at a Roman banquet, I hopped on the scales last night at Fat Club, and lo and behold, I'd lost a pound!!
I was convinced I'd put at least 10lbs on. At least 10. I'd really given it a good go, y'know. I had chocolate, and doughnuts, and... a lot of booze... and takeaways, and crisps, and basically everything I haven't had in the last eight months!!
In fact, I was so convinced that I'd ruined things for myself that I seriously considered just quitting and carrying on the diet from home. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect of getting back on the scales. I knew exactly how much I'd gone off the rails. Although, to be fair - I've really got Jo to thank that I've got this far anyway, she's an amazing cook and has really kept me on the straight and narrow far more than I realised.
Thankfully, I had a stern talking-to from various friends and family members, and so last night I trudged down the hill to the Church Hall to hop on the scales. I dunno if I've mentioned, but the song that always plays in my head when I get on the scales and get a good result is 'You're the Best' by Joe Esposito (the theme tune to The Karate Kid - the real one, not the silly remake). It was like it was playing in some sort of quadrophonic stereo type capacity when I saw the scales say I'd actually lost weight!!
And now - the FOURTH shock of this blog!!!
The song faded out as the Weighing Lady (I think her name's Natalie but I'm not sure. I really should find out, shouldn't I, I've been going for eight months!) started interrogating me about whether I'd been to group last week, or the week before. I felt a bit guilty but I told her I skipped Fat Club last week and didn't stay to group the week before. She started mumbling to herself and then asked the Check-In Lady (Dawn) if it was definitely me, and Dawn said that it was, and then after a few moments' conflab between them, the Weighing Lady and I had the following conversation:
WL: Because, erm, well - you've been named Woman of the Year!
ME: Oh yeah, right!! Hahahahaha!!!!!
[awkward pause]
ME: What, really?!
WL: Really.
ME: Me?!
WL: You.
ME: [points to self] ME?!?
WL: Yes, that's right.
ME: You mean.... me?!?!!???
WL: [rolls eyes] Yes, you!!
ME: Are you sure???? There must be some sort of mistake!!
WL: No, no, it's you.
[SPEV gazes off distractedly as the record player in her head starts up again - "You're the best... AROOOOUUND!! NOTHIN'S GONNA EVER KEEP YOU DOOOWWNNN!!!!"]
Unfortunately, Andrea the Consultant was on holiday, and so I won't know more about it until next week. I have no idea what it means, but the reports all seem to suggest that I will be getting a certificate, hopefully a shiny sticker and, most excitingly of all - A SASH!!!
That's right, all I'll need is a peaked hat and I could join International Rescue.
So, when I told the llamas, naturally they were all delighted and started leaping about (gambolling, even, I think you could say), doing back flips and Miguel even moonwalked down the street with happiness. Our Joanna cried. It was all very exciting. The latest member of my dancing llama troupe, Pedro, called up one of his 'contacts' and actually arranged a float for the second fiesta!!! I mean it's only a milk-float but you've got to take what you can get, right?
Without further ado - let's all shake our maracas, shimmy like we've no backbone and roll our Rs in a celebratory Latino fashion!!!!
Waahhooooo!!!!! *shimmy* *shake* *wiggle* *etc*
I'm amazed and shocked and... well... Amazed. I can't believe people actually voted for me. I didn't think anyone noticed - I mean not even I've noticed! I hope I don't have to say anything next week.
So, if you've not died of boredom yet, that's basically what's happened over the last couple of weeks, slimming-wise. It didn't feel as though a lot went on - but clearly, it did!! Fabulous.
I've got eight weigh-ins left before the Michael Nesmith concert. I would love to have got my 5 stone award by then, and I'll certainly be working towards it. I've done it four times before so I don't think it's exactly impossible. But it'd still be nice to have done it by the time October 29th comes round.
Join me again - next time... whenever that might be.... maybe next week... when I might have something else to say. Possibly....!!!
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Dressin' Fine, Makin' Time
I would like to apologise for my complete failure on the blogging front recently. Work's been mental and I haven't had time to write. Sorry.
Thursday went well. I lost 2 1/2 lbs. I now have 2 1/2 lbs to lose before I get my 4 stone award. I'd LOVE it if it was this week. I'm giving it my best shot this week. I've been determined, I'm still on the wagon (Day 16. Blood is now coursing through my alcohol stream. I'm starting to see things as they really are. 'Floor!' 'Curtains!' 'Gobshite!' Erm. Sorry. Just went all Father Ted there for a minute!), I've kept to well under 10 Syns a day, except for Saturday when I went half a Syn over, but I'm not worried about that really. I've walked a lot. I haven't been quite as stressed out this week as I have been during the last two weeks about losing weight. I don't feel any different or any thinner. I know I couldn't possibly have put weight on with the things I've been eating, but hey - who knows how the human body works? Certainly not me. It'th a mythtery, as Toyah Wilcox might say. For the benefit of my readers under the age of 35 and who therefore don't know who Toyah Wilcox is - ask your mum. She'll always be Monkey to me. Toyah, that is. Not your mum. I feel as though I'm unwittingly starting to stray into unintentional 'your mum' jokes territory. I'm going to end this aside right now before I get into trouble!
I'm really sorry you missed the fiesta. It was a special fiesta as well, in honour of the synchronised swimming. Ricardo has become obsessed with it. He designed a load of inflatable leg warmers for the llamas and they did a fabulous routine. If I get my 4 stone shiny sticker this week I'll get them to re-create the whole thing for you.
I should point out at this juncture that I will probably be off-grid for the next ten days or so. I'll update as much as I can, obviously, but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I shall be at the annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Liverpool. In the North West for the last 14 years or so it's been held at the Manchester Arena and it's a big, scary place, so my family and I have escaped to somewhere far more exotic for the Convention over the last few years. Stoke-on-Trent. Anyway, this year it's in Liverpool, and as my entire family are from the glorious city, we're very excited about the prospect.
I have new dresses. I had a disastrous afternoon's shopping on Saturday. Not that the company was disastrous, you understand - it was fabulous. After all, I was with my pal, Heather. I know. Two Heathers, no messing. She's awesome and I love her to distraction. So, I had a grand old time as always with her, it was just the dresses were the problem. They were either too short or too low (and although I'm skinny now, I still have massive knockers to deal with) - and often both at the same time. Although at least they all fitted me. It's nice to know that I can walk into a shop, pick up a dress in a particular size and know that it will fit me. I don't think I've ever done that before. It's all progress. I found a new dress yesterday, which is very pretty and fits me, so I'm nearly replete with dresses in my wardrobe, which is all very exciting. Eventually, I will post my 'before' and 'half way through' photos. I just need to retrieve the 'before' photo that my Auntie Heather took of me in January!
After the Convention, I'm moving out of home for a week or so. Long story. I'm sleeping at my pal's house for a few nights and then staying with another pal for a few nights. I should still be able to update the blog while I'm away because I'll still be working, but if not, you'll know why. My life should hopefully return to normal - well, as normal as my life ever gets, anyway - on or around 23 August, which coincides with the Global Public Holiday I've been campaigning for for the last who knows how long - International Keith Moon Day. Everything is wonderful on that day, it's by far my favourite day on the calendar. So it's only fitting, really, that everything sorts itself out by then.
I shall try to update on Wednesday or Thursday but I won't be able to update on my results from Fat Club until at least Monday next week. Sorry about that, chaps. Wish me luck though. I have a feeling that this week I'm seriously going to need it!!
Thursday went well. I lost 2 1/2 lbs. I now have 2 1/2 lbs to lose before I get my 4 stone award. I'd LOVE it if it was this week. I'm giving it my best shot this week. I've been determined, I'm still on the wagon (Day 16. Blood is now coursing through my alcohol stream. I'm starting to see things as they really are. 'Floor!' 'Curtains!' 'Gobshite!' Erm. Sorry. Just went all Father Ted there for a minute!), I've kept to well under 10 Syns a day, except for Saturday when I went half a Syn over, but I'm not worried about that really. I've walked a lot. I haven't been quite as stressed out this week as I have been during the last two weeks about losing weight. I don't feel any different or any thinner. I know I couldn't possibly have put weight on with the things I've been eating, but hey - who knows how the human body works? Certainly not me. It'th a mythtery, as Toyah Wilcox might say. For the benefit of my readers under the age of 35 and who therefore don't know who Toyah Wilcox is - ask your mum. She'll always be Monkey to me. Toyah, that is. Not your mum. I feel as though I'm unwittingly starting to stray into unintentional 'your mum' jokes territory. I'm going to end this aside right now before I get into trouble!
I'm really sorry you missed the fiesta. It was a special fiesta as well, in honour of the synchronised swimming. Ricardo has become obsessed with it. He designed a load of inflatable leg warmers for the llamas and they did a fabulous routine. If I get my 4 stone shiny sticker this week I'll get them to re-create the whole thing for you.
I should point out at this juncture that I will probably be off-grid for the next ten days or so. I'll update as much as I can, obviously, but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I shall be at the annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Liverpool. In the North West for the last 14 years or so it's been held at the Manchester Arena and it's a big, scary place, so my family and I have escaped to somewhere far more exotic for the Convention over the last few years. Stoke-on-Trent. Anyway, this year it's in Liverpool, and as my entire family are from the glorious city, we're very excited about the prospect.
I have new dresses. I had a disastrous afternoon's shopping on Saturday. Not that the company was disastrous, you understand - it was fabulous. After all, I was with my pal, Heather. I know. Two Heathers, no messing. She's awesome and I love her to distraction. So, I had a grand old time as always with her, it was just the dresses were the problem. They were either too short or too low (and although I'm skinny now, I still have massive knockers to deal with) - and often both at the same time. Although at least they all fitted me. It's nice to know that I can walk into a shop, pick up a dress in a particular size and know that it will fit me. I don't think I've ever done that before. It's all progress. I found a new dress yesterday, which is very pretty and fits me, so I'm nearly replete with dresses in my wardrobe, which is all very exciting. Eventually, I will post my 'before' and 'half way through' photos. I just need to retrieve the 'before' photo that my Auntie Heather took of me in January!
After the Convention, I'm moving out of home for a week or so. Long story. I'm sleeping at my pal's house for a few nights and then staying with another pal for a few nights. I should still be able to update the blog while I'm away because I'll still be working, but if not, you'll know why. My life should hopefully return to normal - well, as normal as my life ever gets, anyway - on or around 23 August, which coincides with the Global Public Holiday I've been campaigning for for the last who knows how long - International Keith Moon Day. Everything is wonderful on that day, it's by far my favourite day on the calendar. So it's only fitting, really, that everything sorts itself out by then.
I shall try to update on Wednesday or Thursday but I won't be able to update on my results from Fat Club until at least Monday next week. Sorry about that, chaps. Wish me luck though. I have a feeling that this week I'm seriously going to need it!!
Monday, 30 July 2012
Swimmin' with the Wimmin'
So, the Olympics has started in London and everyone's mind is turning to all things sporty.
Mine isn't. Even though I've watched a lot of gymnastics (and fencing, swimming and... actually that's it, so far). If I could back-flip, I have a feeling that I would never walk again. A normal trip to the corner shop for a pint of milk would be a very different experience. Or if I'd gone on a dead long walk and my legs got tired, I'd just walk on my hands instead. I'd be triple somersaulting all over the flippin' (ha! see what I did there?!) place. It must be nice to be a natural athlete.
The E Word keeps rearing its ugly head and I keep on avoiding it like the plague. Due to my lack of car I do walk nearly everywhere - at least two miles a day, but I'm really starting to get the feeling that I have to do more. I have arms that need unwobbling. I have curves that need to look more curvy and less lumpy. I have core muscles that need... er... coring.
I'm bored already. Exercise is for people without the capability to watch sport on television, surely?
I blame the plethora of exercise that's going on in the country right now. Us sedentary chaps and chapesses are being made to feel guilty. Look. Some of us - like Bruce Springsteen - were born to run. Some of us were born to get public transport instead - like me.
I keep being advised to take up swimming, but I feel this is the last thing I ought to do. For a start it will unquestionably involve, at some stage, the concept of me in a swimming costume. There is probably no sight more repugnant to the human race. Even the thought of it makes my blood run cold. Nobody needs to see that! Eeesh!!! The other problem with swimming is that I can't swim. Which really is a problem that far exceeds any self-hate issues I happen to have running in conjunction with my lack of ability. Besides, I'd end up with shoulders the size of a small child. I don't need another hang-up about my physical appearance, thank you - I already have enough for two lifetimes!!
There'll be an activity out there that has my name on it. Something that doesn't involve going outside, is a well known source of aerobic exercise and is utterly enjoyable and with purpose. I know what you're all thinking. And you're right. I should really start dancing round the living room! (What?! What were you thinking?!)
I've been very good this weekend. I've eaten a lot but it's all been the right sort of stuff. I've also done a ton of decorating and loads more walking than usual. That ought to do something for certain muscle groups. Dunno what, like, but it ought to - I'm knackered. It should at least improve my karate. I've seen the Karate Kid (I'm referring to the real one and not the abysmal remake that Jackie Chan basically spent the whole film looking apologetic for. And this is from the man who made Shanghai Knights!), I know how it works. I bet I'm an expert now - I could take on ALL the Cobra Kai team and batter 'em!! Just try coming at me! Try it!!
Actually - don't. I'll most likely scream hysterically, fall to the floor and assume the foetal position.
I don't know what to think about the weight-loss thing at the moment, though. It seems to me, whenever I think "Oooh, I dunno, I feel a bit podgier this week, I'm sure I've put on! And how about that extra cup of coffee with milk I had on Tuesday morning?!" it turns out that I lose something ridiculous like 4lbs or so. But when I've been mega-good and Synned like a nun at Lourdes, and thought to myself, "I've been dead good, I must've lost something this week! I even feel thinner!" I end up either only losing half a pound or putting a bit of weight on or staying the same. All I'm doing is following the plan exactly as I did on my first week back in January. At the moment I'm simply aiming to still be the same weight as I was before my epic week of hedonism. If I get a better result than that then I shall be chuffed, but I really don't want to get my hopes up. I mean, I've been very good last week and am determined to be just as good this week, so, who knows. If I can get as close as I can to my 4 stone mark by next Thursday I shall be more chuffed than the chuff of a chuff's chuff. And we all know how chuffed they are!
Join me later on in the week for my pre-weigh in nervous breakdown. It's been two weeks since I last went to Fat Club and I'm sure by Wednesdayish I shall be absolutely terrified about getting back on those there scales... *wibble*
Mine isn't. Even though I've watched a lot of gymnastics (and fencing, swimming and... actually that's it, so far). If I could back-flip, I have a feeling that I would never walk again. A normal trip to the corner shop for a pint of milk would be a very different experience. Or if I'd gone on a dead long walk and my legs got tired, I'd just walk on my hands instead. I'd be triple somersaulting all over the flippin' (ha! see what I did there?!) place. It must be nice to be a natural athlete.
The E Word keeps rearing its ugly head and I keep on avoiding it like the plague. Due to my lack of car I do walk nearly everywhere - at least two miles a day, but I'm really starting to get the feeling that I have to do more. I have arms that need unwobbling. I have curves that need to look more curvy and less lumpy. I have core muscles that need... er... coring.
I'm bored already. Exercise is for people without the capability to watch sport on television, surely?
I blame the plethora of exercise that's going on in the country right now. Us sedentary chaps and chapesses are being made to feel guilty. Look. Some of us - like Bruce Springsteen - were born to run. Some of us were born to get public transport instead - like me.
I keep being advised to take up swimming, but I feel this is the last thing I ought to do. For a start it will unquestionably involve, at some stage, the concept of me in a swimming costume. There is probably no sight more repugnant to the human race. Even the thought of it makes my blood run cold. Nobody needs to see that! Eeesh!!! The other problem with swimming is that I can't swim. Which really is a problem that far exceeds any self-hate issues I happen to have running in conjunction with my lack of ability. Besides, I'd end up with shoulders the size of a small child. I don't need another hang-up about my physical appearance, thank you - I already have enough for two lifetimes!!
There'll be an activity out there that has my name on it. Something that doesn't involve going outside, is a well known source of aerobic exercise and is utterly enjoyable and with purpose. I know what you're all thinking. And you're right. I should really start dancing round the living room! (What?! What were you thinking?!)
I've been very good this weekend. I've eaten a lot but it's all been the right sort of stuff. I've also done a ton of decorating and loads more walking than usual. That ought to do something for certain muscle groups. Dunno what, like, but it ought to - I'm knackered. It should at least improve my karate. I've seen the Karate Kid (I'm referring to the real one and not the abysmal remake that Jackie Chan basically spent the whole film looking apologetic for. And this is from the man who made Shanghai Knights!), I know how it works. I bet I'm an expert now - I could take on ALL the Cobra Kai team and batter 'em!! Just try coming at me! Try it!!
Actually - don't. I'll most likely scream hysterically, fall to the floor and assume the foetal position.
I don't know what to think about the weight-loss thing at the moment, though. It seems to me, whenever I think "Oooh, I dunno, I feel a bit podgier this week, I'm sure I've put on! And how about that extra cup of coffee with milk I had on Tuesday morning?!" it turns out that I lose something ridiculous like 4lbs or so. But when I've been mega-good and Synned like a nun at Lourdes, and thought to myself, "I've been dead good, I must've lost something this week! I even feel thinner!" I end up either only losing half a pound or putting a bit of weight on or staying the same. All I'm doing is following the plan exactly as I did on my first week back in January. At the moment I'm simply aiming to still be the same weight as I was before my epic week of hedonism. If I get a better result than that then I shall be chuffed, but I really don't want to get my hopes up. I mean, I've been very good last week and am determined to be just as good this week, so, who knows. If I can get as close as I can to my 4 stone mark by next Thursday I shall be more chuffed than the chuff of a chuff's chuff. And we all know how chuffed they are!
Join me later on in the week for my pre-weigh in nervous breakdown. It's been two weeks since I last went to Fat Club and I'm sure by Wednesdayish I shall be absolutely terrified about getting back on those there scales... *wibble*
Friday, 15 June 2012
Keep On Keeping On
There is a double celebration of fiesta-ing today in the Diary, and a good job too. The llamas have had three weeks off and Enrique has started panicking that if they have any more time off, their muscles will all seize up and they'll never be able to do those high-kicks again.
To mark the glorious occasion, they've decided on a very spectacular stunt. Miguel has bravely offered to be a llama cannonball!! Ricardo has designed a lovely red sparkly cape for the occasion. It'll be the finale sequence to the fiesta and I'm sure it'll be a breathtaking sight!
The first reason I'm celebrating is, after a week off and not really following the diet strictly at all - it turns out I've lost a whopping FOUR POUNDS!!! I'm now just 1 1/2 lbs off having lost 3 1/2 stone!! For those still keeping track, I've lost 47 1/2 lbs in 23 weeks. Which is still quite good going.
*AAARRRRIIIIBBAAAAAA!!!!!!*
The second reason for celebration is that I have actually managed to get tickets to see Michael Nesmith - after a very dramatic turn of events this morning. It nearly didn't happen at all - but eventually I got two seats. They're back row, I grant you, and when I had the possibilty of seats in the third row at first, it does sting somwhat, but there are only 12 rows in total, the venue only seats 460, and I think the hall is laid out in such a way that there's really no such thing as a bad seat. I mightn't get to see every whisker on his face but I'll certainly know it's the right fella.
WOOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit*
133 sleeps, apparently. According to my calculations, there were 136 but I'm reliably informed there are only 133. This is very exciting news. I just hope by then I'll be as close as possible to my target size. I've got four and a half months to lose three dress sizes. I think I can do it. I hope so. Even two would be great!!
Anyway, back to Slimming World. My mum joined last night!! This is great news. Partly because I get in next week free for introducing someone. I really hope she makes a good job of it. She only wants to lose the same amount I've already lost. And I've managed it so she can definitely do it. Hell's teeth, she's had five kids, losing a bit of weight isn't going to cause any problems!!! Apparently Andrea the Consultant kept telling mum (and the other newbies) to listen to what I told her because I'm doing so well. How embarrassing!!! I wish Mum hadn't told me, I'm not a fan of all this attention.
I'm so excited I really don't have the brain to type any more. Let's see The Llama Cannonball in action for the big finale to end this very exciting and hysterical blog!!
.............
.....................................
...................................................................................
*wince*
Ricardo, you really ought to check that you're not firing that thing off anywhere near a wall....
*sigh* We're a llama down, ladies and gentlemen, but don't worry, it isn't fatal - he just needs a good rest and he'll be right as rain soon.
Join me next week, when hopefully I'll have calmed down slightly, and I'll give you an update on Miguel's progress. Hooves crossed he's well on the mend by then!!
To mark the glorious occasion, they've decided on a very spectacular stunt. Miguel has bravely offered to be a llama cannonball!! Ricardo has designed a lovely red sparkly cape for the occasion. It'll be the finale sequence to the fiesta and I'm sure it'll be a breathtaking sight!
The first reason I'm celebrating is, after a week off and not really following the diet strictly at all - it turns out I've lost a whopping FOUR POUNDS!!! I'm now just 1 1/2 lbs off having lost 3 1/2 stone!! For those still keeping track, I've lost 47 1/2 lbs in 23 weeks. Which is still quite good going.
*AAARRRRIIIIBBAAAAAA!!!!!!*
The second reason for celebration is that I have actually managed to get tickets to see Michael Nesmith - after a very dramatic turn of events this morning. It nearly didn't happen at all - but eventually I got two seats. They're back row, I grant you, and when I had the possibilty of seats in the third row at first, it does sting somwhat, but there are only 12 rows in total, the venue only seats 460, and I think the hall is laid out in such a way that there's really no such thing as a bad seat. I mightn't get to see every whisker on his face but I'll certainly know it's the right fella.
WOOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit*
133 sleeps, apparently. According to my calculations, there were 136 but I'm reliably informed there are only 133. This is very exciting news. I just hope by then I'll be as close as possible to my target size. I've got four and a half months to lose three dress sizes. I think I can do it. I hope so. Even two would be great!!
Anyway, back to Slimming World. My mum joined last night!! This is great news. Partly because I get in next week free for introducing someone. I really hope she makes a good job of it. She only wants to lose the same amount I've already lost. And I've managed it so she can definitely do it. Hell's teeth, she's had five kids, losing a bit of weight isn't going to cause any problems!!! Apparently Andrea the Consultant kept telling mum (and the other newbies) to listen to what I told her because I'm doing so well. How embarrassing!!! I wish Mum hadn't told me, I'm not a fan of all this attention.
I'm so excited I really don't have the brain to type any more. Let's see The Llama Cannonball in action for the big finale to end this very exciting and hysterical blog!!
.............
.....................................
...................................................................................
*wince*
Ricardo, you really ought to check that you're not firing that thing off anywhere near a wall....
*sigh* We're a llama down, ladies and gentlemen, but don't worry, it isn't fatal - he just needs a good rest and he'll be right as rain soon.
Join me next week, when hopefully I'll have calmed down slightly, and I'll give you an update on Miguel's progress. Hooves crossed he's well on the mend by then!!
Monday, 28 May 2012
We're Havin' A Heatwave...
...a tropical heatwaaaave... the temperature's risin', it isn't surprisin', I certainly caaaannn...
Ahem.
Sorry. But this weather's making everything seem a bit weird. Good GRIEF it's warm. I mean, 28 degrees Celsius before noon is just ridiculous. And no, I have no idea what that is in Farenheit!!
I'm sorry for my lack of postings. It's been one of those weeks. It's been too hot for anything and my brain really doesn't function too well in hot weather. I am, after all, English. I'm not used to May being hot. It isn't meant to get hot until mid-June for about five days, then constant rain until mid-July, then miserable but hot weather with no air for three or four weeks, then more rain... then a sort of picking up again in September, before a rather nippy Autumn and a bloomin' freezing winter. This is how Britain works, weather! Get it right!!
So, anyway, weather aside, I got a little closer to my halfway mark this week by losing 2lbs. This was a lovely result and I was really pleased with it, but due to the weather it would've simply been cruel of me to ask the llamas to put on a fiesta in celebration. So I sent them to the local swimming pool armed with armbands, goggles and matching towels for a bit of a frolic and a cool down. Enrique convinced himself that he came back home with verrucas and athletes hoof, but after a (very brief) examination his hooves all seem fine. Ricardo made friends with the lifeguard on duty who had never heard of a dancing troupe of llamas before. Miguel discovered aqua-aerobics. Everyone had a lovely time. I stayed in (I can't swim and nobody will ever see me in a swimming costume, ever, not even when I get to a size 14! Just because I'm not fat still doesn't mean anyone wants to see any more of me than is absolutely necessary and unavoidable!) and had a celebratory brandy or two. It might've even ben three. Yes, I think it was. So, everyone really was happy!
I probably won't hit my halfway target by this Thursday, but that's no big deal really. It's officially too hot to care about stuff like that! I should get closer to it, though, and that's the main thing.
I wore a dress on Sunday. I admit it probably wasn't the most fashionable thing out there, but the main thing was it wasn't that godawful black maxi dress I'd worn for months when I had need to wear a dress. It was my mum's, and before you start rolling your eyes, I'd coveted it for quite some time, it's really nice. I tell you a really weird thing that I may never get used to. I actually felt really feminine. I mean I know I'm a girl (the bosoms are quite a giveaway), but being of the larger persuasion the only clothes really available to a person are ones that just cover you and make you look as unobtrusive as possible. In short, clothes have never made me feel anything other than a sexless blob of nothingness. But on Sunday I looked in the mirror and even though I probably still looked a fat scruffbag, I actually felt like a woman for the first time actually ever. With curves, as opposed to being one continual curve. It's a really peculiar feeling, but I liked it. Probably one I'll never get used to, but it's really helped me to feel even more focussed than ever about getting to the goal. It's totally going to happen. This time next year during an unprecedented heatwave I might even have summer clothes in my wardrobe to go to!! Who knows!!!
Join me again on... well, I'd say Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday, but certainly later on in the week. Dunno what I'll talk about but I'll always find SOMEthing to ramble about!!
Ahem.
Sorry. But this weather's making everything seem a bit weird. Good GRIEF it's warm. I mean, 28 degrees Celsius before noon is just ridiculous. And no, I have no idea what that is in Farenheit!!
I'm sorry for my lack of postings. It's been one of those weeks. It's been too hot for anything and my brain really doesn't function too well in hot weather. I am, after all, English. I'm not used to May being hot. It isn't meant to get hot until mid-June for about five days, then constant rain until mid-July, then miserable but hot weather with no air for three or four weeks, then more rain... then a sort of picking up again in September, before a rather nippy Autumn and a bloomin' freezing winter. This is how Britain works, weather! Get it right!!
So, anyway, weather aside, I got a little closer to my halfway mark this week by losing 2lbs. This was a lovely result and I was really pleased with it, but due to the weather it would've simply been cruel of me to ask the llamas to put on a fiesta in celebration. So I sent them to the local swimming pool armed with armbands, goggles and matching towels for a bit of a frolic and a cool down. Enrique convinced himself that he came back home with verrucas and athletes hoof, but after a (very brief) examination his hooves all seem fine. Ricardo made friends with the lifeguard on duty who had never heard of a dancing troupe of llamas before. Miguel discovered aqua-aerobics. Everyone had a lovely time. I stayed in (I can't swim and nobody will ever see me in a swimming costume, ever, not even when I get to a size 14! Just because I'm not fat still doesn't mean anyone wants to see any more of me than is absolutely necessary and unavoidable!) and had a celebratory brandy or two. It might've even ben three. Yes, I think it was. So, everyone really was happy!
I probably won't hit my halfway target by this Thursday, but that's no big deal really. It's officially too hot to care about stuff like that! I should get closer to it, though, and that's the main thing.
I wore a dress on Sunday. I admit it probably wasn't the most fashionable thing out there, but the main thing was it wasn't that godawful black maxi dress I'd worn for months when I had need to wear a dress. It was my mum's, and before you start rolling your eyes, I'd coveted it for quite some time, it's really nice. I tell you a really weird thing that I may never get used to. I actually felt really feminine. I mean I know I'm a girl (the bosoms are quite a giveaway), but being of the larger persuasion the only clothes really available to a person are ones that just cover you and make you look as unobtrusive as possible. In short, clothes have never made me feel anything other than a sexless blob of nothingness. But on Sunday I looked in the mirror and even though I probably still looked a fat scruffbag, I actually felt like a woman for the first time actually ever. With curves, as opposed to being one continual curve. It's a really peculiar feeling, but I liked it. Probably one I'll never get used to, but it's really helped me to feel even more focussed than ever about getting to the goal. It's totally going to happen. This time next year during an unprecedented heatwave I might even have summer clothes in my wardrobe to go to!! Who knows!!!
Join me again on... well, I'd say Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday, but certainly later on in the week. Dunno what I'll talk about but I'll always find SOMEthing to ramble about!!
Friday, 18 May 2012
Wham, Bam, Thank You, Scales!
All right, all right, I've calmed down, I've stopped whooping and cartwheeling around the living room long enough to write my Friday blog.
That's right. I have good news. Great news. That 3 1/2 lbs that was doing my head in? GONE!! BAM!!! 3 stone (that's 42lbs to my American readers and 19kgs to my...er... metric readers) in 19 weeks, that's quite good going, isn't it?
In celebration, Enrique has put together The Three Stone Fiesta. Floats, bunting, ticker-tape, sombreros, maracas, even the odd castanet. In the words of the late, great Eddie Cochrane - WOOOOO!!!! C'MON EV'RYBODYYY!!!!!!
Whoo!! Enrique, you've surpassed yourself this time, little fella!!! What a celebration!!
Right. So. This is it. 3 stone down, 4 to go. There's a very small possibility that I might still get to the halfway mark by my birthday, I've lost 7lbs in two weeks a few times so I know I can do it. I just need to try extra hard and maybe try other things like finally incorporating a bit more exercise into my daily regime and drinking water... I seem to have developed quite an addiction to Coke Zero/Pepsi Max/whatever's on offer in Morrisons at the time of purchase. No, really. Well, I've almost totally given up booze and chocolate, I haven't had pizza or crisps all year and frankly there's little left in life that's classed as being 'a bit naughty' that I can get away with having these days!!
Gah! Skinny, old and boring. Three things I thought I'd never be!
I'm so chuffed. I worked so hard to get these last few pounds boxed off, and I've done it. I've still got a really really long way to go, but it feels far more achievable now. I will get there. There's a story on the Slimming World website and in this month's Slimming World magazine about a fella about a year older than me who's lost 17 1/2 stone (245 lbs/111.13kg) in just over two years. He looks like a completely different person. I mean, blimey. I know 7 stone is a lot and roughly the size of a skinny full grown adult, but 17 1/2 stone - that's some people's starting weight when they join Slimming World!! That must've seemed like an impossible mountain to climb - and now he goes out climbing real mountains for fun!! It's incredible how much a silly thing like losing weight will change your life completely. I mean I know I've still got a huge way to go but I really feel as though this time I'll do it and that my life will change. I'll start doing things I've never done, I'll stop being afraid of trying anything new and I'll actually start walking down the road with my head up rather than hunched up, worrying about tripping over my own feet or being laughed at and heckled by vile people who felt the need to point my weight problem out to me in case I hadn't already noticed it. Seriously. It'll be all change. I just hope I'm ready for it...!!
Join me again on Monday when I'll probably not have much to report from the weekend, but I'll be looking towards a lovely family reunion under very sad circumstances and trying to stay strong in the hopes of getting closer to the 3 1/2 stone mark next Thursday night!! Have a lovely weekend, whatever you'e up to!
That's right. I have good news. Great news. That 3 1/2 lbs that was doing my head in? GONE!! BAM!!! 3 stone (that's 42lbs to my American readers and 19kgs to my...er... metric readers) in 19 weeks, that's quite good going, isn't it?
In celebration, Enrique has put together The Three Stone Fiesta. Floats, bunting, ticker-tape, sombreros, maracas, even the odd castanet. In the words of the late, great Eddie Cochrane - WOOOOO!!!! C'MON EV'RYBODYYY!!!!!!
Whoo!! Enrique, you've surpassed yourself this time, little fella!!! What a celebration!!
Right. So. This is it. 3 stone down, 4 to go. There's a very small possibility that I might still get to the halfway mark by my birthday, I've lost 7lbs in two weeks a few times so I know I can do it. I just need to try extra hard and maybe try other things like finally incorporating a bit more exercise into my daily regime and drinking water... I seem to have developed quite an addiction to Coke Zero/Pepsi Max/whatever's on offer in Morrisons at the time of purchase. No, really. Well, I've almost totally given up booze and chocolate, I haven't had pizza or crisps all year and frankly there's little left in life that's classed as being 'a bit naughty' that I can get away with having these days!!
Gah! Skinny, old and boring. Three things I thought I'd never be!
I'm so chuffed. I worked so hard to get these last few pounds boxed off, and I've done it. I've still got a really really long way to go, but it feels far more achievable now. I will get there. There's a story on the Slimming World website and in this month's Slimming World magazine about a fella about a year older than me who's lost 17 1/2 stone (245 lbs/111.13kg) in just over two years. He looks like a completely different person. I mean, blimey. I know 7 stone is a lot and roughly the size of a skinny full grown adult, but 17 1/2 stone - that's some people's starting weight when they join Slimming World!! That must've seemed like an impossible mountain to climb - and now he goes out climbing real mountains for fun!! It's incredible how much a silly thing like losing weight will change your life completely. I mean I know I've still got a huge way to go but I really feel as though this time I'll do it and that my life will change. I'll start doing things I've never done, I'll stop being afraid of trying anything new and I'll actually start walking down the road with my head up rather than hunched up, worrying about tripping over my own feet or being laughed at and heckled by vile people who felt the need to point my weight problem out to me in case I hadn't already noticed it. Seriously. It'll be all change. I just hope I'm ready for it...!!
Join me again on Monday when I'll probably not have much to report from the weekend, but I'll be looking towards a lovely family reunion under very sad circumstances and trying to stay strong in the hopes of getting closer to the 3 1/2 stone mark next Thursday night!! Have a lovely weekend, whatever you'e up to!
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Clothes Horse
This is it, folks. This is what 'back on track' looks like. A Wednesday blog and being on course for a three-post week. I'm on fire! Not literally, don't worry.
I've got back onto the green tea, I've started eating more fruit and I've kept myself to below 10 Syns per day. If I don't see at least some improvement by Friday I'll throw the blasted new scales out the window - don't try and stop me!! I may be skinnier now but I've still got the strength of a girl nearly three stone heavier than me...!! Grr!
I sort of feel like I've been a bit of an in-between size for the last couple of months. I reckon I've got about another stone to lose before I get back into my old clothes. There are two items of clothing that I'm desperate to be able to wear again - a black pinstripe shirt dress and a dogtooth skirt suit, both of which are a size 18. I'm a lot closer to both than I was five months ago, which is great. At the moment I'm wearing clothes far too big for me because I'm still trying to put off that clothes shopping trip that I know will be looming at some juncture. I'll wait. All my clothes are already at least one size too big for me, one more won't hurt. I'll go shopping when I'm officially thin enough to throw *all* my old clothes out. Or at least the majority of them. I know that sounds very wasteful, but honestly, my clothes are all so old and battered, if I sent them to the third world, they'd send 'em back with a note saying, "What do you think we are, a charity?" Cancer Research UK would blacklist me if I left any of my clothes at one of their charity shops.
At the moment I've only got one skirt, it's probably two sizes too big and when I first slimmed into it it was just above my knee. It's now halfway down my shin. It does look ridiculous. I will sort it out one day, honestly. I just want to get there first. As soon as I'm comfortably into a size 18 I'll cheerfully bin my fat clothes, get myself down the high street, walk in with my head held high and bypass the Fat Person's Clothes section and buy something that actually looks nice and not like a misshapen sack with a token handful of sequins in a feeble attempt at making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Oh, how I long for that day!
Seriously, if anyone wants to come with me to help me , that'd be great. Send all applications to the usual address and in no more than 20 words, complete the sentence, "I should take Spev clothes shopping for skinny person clothes because..." I'll even treat you to a coffee and a slice of cake from Costa while we're out by way of a thank you!
Join me on Friday when hopefully I'll at least have boxed off most of that pesky 3 1/2 lbs that's keeping me from reaching my 3 stone target. With any luck the llamas will have come up with a lovely dance routine and we can all have a great time shaking our maracas together!! Arriba!!
I've got back onto the green tea, I've started eating more fruit and I've kept myself to below 10 Syns per day. If I don't see at least some improvement by Friday I'll throw the blasted new scales out the window - don't try and stop me!! I may be skinnier now but I've still got the strength of a girl nearly three stone heavier than me...!! Grr!
I sort of feel like I've been a bit of an in-between size for the last couple of months. I reckon I've got about another stone to lose before I get back into my old clothes. There are two items of clothing that I'm desperate to be able to wear again - a black pinstripe shirt dress and a dogtooth skirt suit, both of which are a size 18. I'm a lot closer to both than I was five months ago, which is great. At the moment I'm wearing clothes far too big for me because I'm still trying to put off that clothes shopping trip that I know will be looming at some juncture. I'll wait. All my clothes are already at least one size too big for me, one more won't hurt. I'll go shopping when I'm officially thin enough to throw *all* my old clothes out. Or at least the majority of them. I know that sounds very wasteful, but honestly, my clothes are all so old and battered, if I sent them to the third world, they'd send 'em back with a note saying, "What do you think we are, a charity?" Cancer Research UK would blacklist me if I left any of my clothes at one of their charity shops.
At the moment I've only got one skirt, it's probably two sizes too big and when I first slimmed into it it was just above my knee. It's now halfway down my shin. It does look ridiculous. I will sort it out one day, honestly. I just want to get there first. As soon as I'm comfortably into a size 18 I'll cheerfully bin my fat clothes, get myself down the high street, walk in with my head held high and bypass the Fat Person's Clothes section and buy something that actually looks nice and not like a misshapen sack with a token handful of sequins in a feeble attempt at making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Oh, how I long for that day!
Seriously, if anyone wants to come with me to help me , that'd be great. Send all applications to the usual address and in no more than 20 words, complete the sentence, "I should take Spev clothes shopping for skinny person clothes because..." I'll even treat you to a coffee and a slice of cake from Costa while we're out by way of a thank you!
Join me on Friday when hopefully I'll at least have boxed off most of that pesky 3 1/2 lbs that's keeping me from reaching my 3 stone target. With any luck the llamas will have come up with a lovely dance routine and we can all have a great time shaking our maracas together!! Arriba!!
Friday, 4 May 2012
Dazed and Confused
I knew I'd end up a confused mess last night. I knew it.
The llamas came home, Enrique set about making sure everyone else was unpacked and after they'd all had a long hot soak in a bubble bath I helped Miguel tie his new neckerchief and put on his new sunglasses. He's a fashion conscious llama but his lack of opposable thumbs does cause him a few problems in the execution of donning and fixing certain items of clothing.
I left them tucking into a lovely tea and told Ricardo I'd give them a call on the Llama Line when I'd been weighed.
I went in, was told by the lady on the front desk that everyone seems a lot happier this week and that the scales seem to have righted themselves. So I paid my fiver, toddled off to the weigh-in point and hopped on the scales.
Normally, I would have been delighted and doing a little jig of ecstasy over the fact the scales said I was 3 1/2 lbs lighter... but I was just confused.
I mean... What does that even mean?!!? Does it mean I've lost 3 1/2 lbs? Does it mean that I've lost 1/2 lb?? Does it mean that I've basically just maintained weight for two weeks and everything's back to normal? I mean... seriously - what happened?!?!
Llamas are a very intelligent bunch but, they're also very inquisitive - so if I'd explained the whole saga of the scales to them, they'd've asked me some very complicated mathematical questions that I couldn't answer. I decided, for the sake of brevity, to just tell them that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs, and so Enrique, invigorated by his week in the sun and hour-long soak in a mint and jasmine bubble bath, quickly got to work on choreographing the llamas' latest dance routine.
Hit it, fellas!! *whips out maracas and dons Carmen Miranda style hat before shimmying around like a loony*
Whewf!!! I've really got to stop moving like that, it plays havoc with my pineapples...
So... I think I've lost weight. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly. I really don't know. I mean, according to those scales I'm 3 1/2 lbs lighter than I was this time last week. So that should make me very happy. But then I know I hadn't put 3lbs on last week. But maybe I had, I mean a person's body does crazy things at crazy times, maybe it was an unwittingly held-in tinkle or something. But then what if it wasn't and these new scales are just dodgy?
I really don't know what to think. It's a mystery to the likes of me.
Still, maybe these new ones are more accurate. After all, I'm definitely starting to see some changes in me, my shoulders are pretty skinny now and I've even noticed my legs are getting a bit slimmer at long last. I'd spent a few weeks not seeing any change at all and worrying that losing 7 stone wasn't going to be enough and I'd almost decided to put my target back by another stone, but I don't think I need to do that now. I've got 10lbs to lose before I get to the half-way mark, and I suppose it'll be easier to judge from then, but I don't think I'll need to lose more than 7 stone. Hope not anyway, the first three are turning into an epic melodrama!!
It's my birthday in a month's time (well, a month yesterday, to be precise) and I'm hoping to have lost the requisite 10lbs to get myself to the half-way mark by then. If I lose more then great, but because it's pretty much slap-bang in the middle of the year I think it's as good a target date to set as any. It might take the edge off the inevitable depression associated with entering into the last year of my 20s. This is it. Goodbye, youth! But at least I'll be old and skinny... Not too skinny though. Fat plumps out the wrinkles. Fact.
Join me again next week sometime when I'll hopefully have some news of something. You may think I'm sounding coy and mysterious but to be honest there's really nothing else doing in SpevLand at the moment, I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen so I can report back on it!!!
The llamas came home, Enrique set about making sure everyone else was unpacked and after they'd all had a long hot soak in a bubble bath I helped Miguel tie his new neckerchief and put on his new sunglasses. He's a fashion conscious llama but his lack of opposable thumbs does cause him a few problems in the execution of donning and fixing certain items of clothing.
I left them tucking into a lovely tea and told Ricardo I'd give them a call on the Llama Line when I'd been weighed.
I went in, was told by the lady on the front desk that everyone seems a lot happier this week and that the scales seem to have righted themselves. So I paid my fiver, toddled off to the weigh-in point and hopped on the scales.
Normally, I would have been delighted and doing a little jig of ecstasy over the fact the scales said I was 3 1/2 lbs lighter... but I was just confused.
I mean... What does that even mean?!!? Does it mean I've lost 3 1/2 lbs? Does it mean that I've lost 1/2 lb?? Does it mean that I've basically just maintained weight for two weeks and everything's back to normal? I mean... seriously - what happened?!?!
Llamas are a very intelligent bunch but, they're also very inquisitive - so if I'd explained the whole saga of the scales to them, they'd've asked me some very complicated mathematical questions that I couldn't answer. I decided, for the sake of brevity, to just tell them that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs, and so Enrique, invigorated by his week in the sun and hour-long soak in a mint and jasmine bubble bath, quickly got to work on choreographing the llamas' latest dance routine.
Hit it, fellas!! *whips out maracas and dons Carmen Miranda style hat before shimmying around like a loony*
Whewf!!! I've really got to stop moving like that, it plays havoc with my pineapples...
So... I think I've lost weight. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly. I really don't know. I mean, according to those scales I'm 3 1/2 lbs lighter than I was this time last week. So that should make me very happy. But then I know I hadn't put 3lbs on last week. But maybe I had, I mean a person's body does crazy things at crazy times, maybe it was an unwittingly held-in tinkle or something. But then what if it wasn't and these new scales are just dodgy?
I really don't know what to think. It's a mystery to the likes of me.
Still, maybe these new ones are more accurate. After all, I'm definitely starting to see some changes in me, my shoulders are pretty skinny now and I've even noticed my legs are getting a bit slimmer at long last. I'd spent a few weeks not seeing any change at all and worrying that losing 7 stone wasn't going to be enough and I'd almost decided to put my target back by another stone, but I don't think I need to do that now. I've got 10lbs to lose before I get to the half-way mark, and I suppose it'll be easier to judge from then, but I don't think I'll need to lose more than 7 stone. Hope not anyway, the first three are turning into an epic melodrama!!
It's my birthday in a month's time (well, a month yesterday, to be precise) and I'm hoping to have lost the requisite 10lbs to get myself to the half-way mark by then. If I lose more then great, but because it's pretty much slap-bang in the middle of the year I think it's as good a target date to set as any. It might take the edge off the inevitable depression associated with entering into the last year of my 20s. This is it. Goodbye, youth! But at least I'll be old and skinny... Not too skinny though. Fat plumps out the wrinkles. Fact.
Join me again next week sometime when I'll hopefully have some news of something. You may think I'm sounding coy and mysterious but to be honest there's really nothing else doing in SpevLand at the moment, I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen so I can report back on it!!!
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Game Face
You know, you'd be surprised at how many people were outraged by Andrea the Consultant's idiocy last Thursday. I know I am. There's been uproar. Who knows what to believe now?!
I suppose that the scales are entirely the wrong thing to concentrate on. I mean, yes, it was very disappointing when they said something I didn't like - but at the moment they give me a number I don't like every week. The number that I saw last Thursday was nowhere near as big as the number I saw on 5 January - in fact if I'd seen that number on 5 January I probably would have done a little jig of happiness. In fact... I can't actually remember what the scales said last Thursday. I'm now all confused with the numbers. It doesn't take much to confuse me in a numerical fashion. I think darts players have supercomputers hardwired into their brains for their incredible mathematical dexterity. How do they always know how count backwards from 501 to finish on a double?! It's a gift. Apparently the meaning of life is 42 - and I'm not mathematically qualified enough to provide any sort of argument to the contrary. I think it's a fluke that I passed my Maths GCSE the first time of asking!
The fact is, my clothes are even more baggy on me than they were a couple of weeks ago. That's got to be the main thing. I don't think it'll take a great deal more weight loss until I've dropped three dress sizes. I think I'm sort of between two and three dress sizes smaller, so obviously nothing fits at all at the moment and I look like a bit of a tramp, but it'll all be all right in the end.
Slimming World does work. I mean - it clearly works. Whether the scales say the right thing or not doesn't really matter - because they're not supposed to say the right thing until you're finished losing weight, that's the whole point.
So, then. Come on. Let's do this. If I was American I may even be tempted to say something motivational, grammatically questionable and a little urban like, "Bring it." But I'm not, so I won't. The fact is, I'm never going to get there if I curl up into a podgy ball and give up at my first real knockback. People put on weight all the time. I've been doing it for years. Even though I know I didn't actually put weight on last week - the only numbers I'm really interested in are the numbers on the labels in my clothes.
In other news, I discovered that my boss doesn't want me to work Saturdays any more. This was extremely annoying on two counts. Firstly, nobody had bothered to mention to me that my services weren't required on Saturdays before I turned up for work on Saturday, when they looked shocked and asked what I was doing there. Secondly, this officially means that I have to get a new job. I keep threatening it but unfortunately I really need to think about moving on now. I don't want to because I hate job hunting and being the newbie and getting to know another new set of people - but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And despite the fact there's a lot less of me now - I still gotta eat.
In other *other* news, I am researching like nobody's business in the hope of getting inspired to continue in The Phantom Winger (I heard someone say at Slimming World the other week that they'd been to the Phantom Winger, and it did take me a few moments to work out what they were talking about! I was all ready to say "Hey, I wrote that! What did you think of it?!" but then I remembered that a) it's a pub and b) I haven't written it yet! It's got a good ending, though. Or at least it will do.) - and by 'research', I basically mean I've been watching a lot of spy films. I think it's helping. Not that I condone or indulge in plaigarism, it's just that those sorts of films do help you to get in the right mindset for a good old spy romp. I'm hoping to make a bit of a start on Chapter Three next week, as soon as I work out exactly where to start it. I had such high hopes for being nearly halfway through the first draft by now, but alas - a writer's lot isn't always a productive one.
So, after a bit of a wobbly start to my weekend, I think things are starting to even out a bit. I'm not really looking forward to the weigh-in tomorrow, because who knows what the crazy scales will tell me this week - and I'm still feeling a bit guilty after Thursday's KFC!! However, whatever happens I will update you on my progress in Friday's blog. The llamas will be back by then, all relaxed and refreshed, and hopefully ready for a good old fiesta!! Get your maracas at the ready... you might well need 'em!!
I suppose that the scales are entirely the wrong thing to concentrate on. I mean, yes, it was very disappointing when they said something I didn't like - but at the moment they give me a number I don't like every week. The number that I saw last Thursday was nowhere near as big as the number I saw on 5 January - in fact if I'd seen that number on 5 January I probably would have done a little jig of happiness. In fact... I can't actually remember what the scales said last Thursday. I'm now all confused with the numbers. It doesn't take much to confuse me in a numerical fashion. I think darts players have supercomputers hardwired into their brains for their incredible mathematical dexterity. How do they always know how count backwards from 501 to finish on a double?! It's a gift. Apparently the meaning of life is 42 - and I'm not mathematically qualified enough to provide any sort of argument to the contrary. I think it's a fluke that I passed my Maths GCSE the first time of asking!
The fact is, my clothes are even more baggy on me than they were a couple of weeks ago. That's got to be the main thing. I don't think it'll take a great deal more weight loss until I've dropped three dress sizes. I think I'm sort of between two and three dress sizes smaller, so obviously nothing fits at all at the moment and I look like a bit of a tramp, but it'll all be all right in the end.
Slimming World does work. I mean - it clearly works. Whether the scales say the right thing or not doesn't really matter - because they're not supposed to say the right thing until you're finished losing weight, that's the whole point.
So, then. Come on. Let's do this. If I was American I may even be tempted to say something motivational, grammatically questionable and a little urban like, "Bring it." But I'm not, so I won't. The fact is, I'm never going to get there if I curl up into a podgy ball and give up at my first real knockback. People put on weight all the time. I've been doing it for years. Even though I know I didn't actually put weight on last week - the only numbers I'm really interested in are the numbers on the labels in my clothes.
In other news, I discovered that my boss doesn't want me to work Saturdays any more. This was extremely annoying on two counts. Firstly, nobody had bothered to mention to me that my services weren't required on Saturdays before I turned up for work on Saturday, when they looked shocked and asked what I was doing there. Secondly, this officially means that I have to get a new job. I keep threatening it but unfortunately I really need to think about moving on now. I don't want to because I hate job hunting and being the newbie and getting to know another new set of people - but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And despite the fact there's a lot less of me now - I still gotta eat.
In other *other* news, I am researching like nobody's business in the hope of getting inspired to continue in The Phantom Winger (I heard someone say at Slimming World the other week that they'd been to the Phantom Winger, and it did take me a few moments to work out what they were talking about! I was all ready to say "Hey, I wrote that! What did you think of it?!" but then I remembered that a) it's a pub and b) I haven't written it yet! It's got a good ending, though. Or at least it will do.) - and by 'research', I basically mean I've been watching a lot of spy films. I think it's helping. Not that I condone or indulge in plaigarism, it's just that those sorts of films do help you to get in the right mindset for a good old spy romp. I'm hoping to make a bit of a start on Chapter Three next week, as soon as I work out exactly where to start it. I had such high hopes for being nearly halfway through the first draft by now, but alas - a writer's lot isn't always a productive one.
So, after a bit of a wobbly start to my weekend, I think things are starting to even out a bit. I'm not really looking forward to the weigh-in tomorrow, because who knows what the crazy scales will tell me this week - and I'm still feeling a bit guilty after Thursday's KFC!! However, whatever happens I will update you on my progress in Friday's blog. The llamas will be back by then, all relaxed and refreshed, and hopefully ready for a good old fiesta!! Get your maracas at the ready... you might well need 'em!!
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
I Wish I Had Something to Say
This is my problem, folks, and I would like to start by way of an apology for no blog on Monday. I'm just out of stuff to talk about at the moment. I've even got writer's block on my blog.
It's difficult to find new things to say when you're only really blogging about one thing. I had a few complaints when I wrote about the stuff I was writing, that nobody was actually interested in that - and that's fair enough, I completely understand that. The actual, physical, sitting-down-and-typing aspects of writing are extremely boring indeed. Writing only rates a 'meh' on the Rock'n'Roll Artistic Scale, after all. It isn't instantaneous enough. I bore myself about it, so I dread to think how many people I've sent to sleep over my updates on things I'm writing!
So, really, the whole purpose of this blog has been to keep me encouraged while I lose weight. Losing weight, it turns out, is probably the only thing more boring than writing.
This is my mindset on the weight loss front: I need to lose weight. I am losing weight. I am doing this by eating more healthy stuff and eating less rubbish. I have cut out full-sugar Coca-Cola and replaced it with sugar free stuff. I've cut down my alcohol intake massively. I do a bit of exercise where I can and when I can be bothered.
When it comes to chocolate and pizza and beer and crisps and all the things that make life worth living - I will have those things. I will. When I've lost the weight. If I get a craving for something, I think about something else. I'm very tough with myself and I don't mind that because I know *eventually* it will be worth it and any self-deprivation is only temporary. It comes down to this - I would rather be able to fit into lovely clothes than eat chocolate. When I'm thinner I'll be able to fit into lovely clothes AND eat chocolate - so if I have to miss out for 8-10 months, that's fine by me.
A lot of people have asked me if I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 2 1/2 stone. I'm not. I'll be happy when it's over and when I've done it. But at the moment I just want to get there. There's no point in being proud of myself when I haven't actually achieved anything yet. I haven't given up, which is good. But that's probably about it.
Having said that, I am so happy that so many people are proud of me, and that everyone's saying such lovely things about my progress so far. It helps to keep me going more than any of you realise. It isn't just me I'll be letting down if I don't do it this time - it's family, friends, complete strangers who have started reading the blog - and not forgetting the llamas! Ricardo will be heartbroken! It's pressure, but it's a nice pressure, and one that I'm very grateful for. I love that people care about me enough to talk to me about it and ask me questions about how I'm getting on and how I'm feeling. Focussed. That's how I'm feeling. I've still got my game face on for this thing. I'm going to do it. Even if it takes longer than I'd like, I'm going to do it. I've had enough of feeling physically sick every time I walk past a reflective surface and get a glimpse of myself.
So, nothing to worry about really. Everything's okay - but nothing's happened that requires reporting on. Everything's still the same, I'm still attempting to go forward in the war on obesity. I've got a bit of writer's block which is really annoying me, but it'll clear eventually. I'm not stuck to a deadline or anything. In short, and for a person with nothing to say, I do realise this blog entry's gone on for about a year - although I'm absolutely fine and there's nothing the matter and I'm not about to go out and consume my body weight in fried chicken, I'm just feeling a bit nothing-ish at the moment. But it's just a blip and I'll get over it.
I promise I'll be less miserable and grumpy next time - so please join me again on Friday. Hopefully I'll have got the 2 1/2 stone shiny sticker and certificate by then and the llamas will put on a fiesta that will blow your minds!!
It's difficult to find new things to say when you're only really blogging about one thing. I had a few complaints when I wrote about the stuff I was writing, that nobody was actually interested in that - and that's fair enough, I completely understand that. The actual, physical, sitting-down-and-typing aspects of writing are extremely boring indeed. Writing only rates a 'meh' on the Rock'n'Roll Artistic Scale, after all. It isn't instantaneous enough. I bore myself about it, so I dread to think how many people I've sent to sleep over my updates on things I'm writing!
So, really, the whole purpose of this blog has been to keep me encouraged while I lose weight. Losing weight, it turns out, is probably the only thing more boring than writing.
This is my mindset on the weight loss front: I need to lose weight. I am losing weight. I am doing this by eating more healthy stuff and eating less rubbish. I have cut out full-sugar Coca-Cola and replaced it with sugar free stuff. I've cut down my alcohol intake massively. I do a bit of exercise where I can and when I can be bothered.
When it comes to chocolate and pizza and beer and crisps and all the things that make life worth living - I will have those things. I will. When I've lost the weight. If I get a craving for something, I think about something else. I'm very tough with myself and I don't mind that because I know *eventually* it will be worth it and any self-deprivation is only temporary. It comes down to this - I would rather be able to fit into lovely clothes than eat chocolate. When I'm thinner I'll be able to fit into lovely clothes AND eat chocolate - so if I have to miss out for 8-10 months, that's fine by me.
A lot of people have asked me if I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 2 1/2 stone. I'm not. I'll be happy when it's over and when I've done it. But at the moment I just want to get there. There's no point in being proud of myself when I haven't actually achieved anything yet. I haven't given up, which is good. But that's probably about it.
Having said that, I am so happy that so many people are proud of me, and that everyone's saying such lovely things about my progress so far. It helps to keep me going more than any of you realise. It isn't just me I'll be letting down if I don't do it this time - it's family, friends, complete strangers who have started reading the blog - and not forgetting the llamas! Ricardo will be heartbroken! It's pressure, but it's a nice pressure, and one that I'm very grateful for. I love that people care about me enough to talk to me about it and ask me questions about how I'm getting on and how I'm feeling. Focussed. That's how I'm feeling. I've still got my game face on for this thing. I'm going to do it. Even if it takes longer than I'd like, I'm going to do it. I've had enough of feeling physically sick every time I walk past a reflective surface and get a glimpse of myself.
So, nothing to worry about really. Everything's okay - but nothing's happened that requires reporting on. Everything's still the same, I'm still attempting to go forward in the war on obesity. I've got a bit of writer's block which is really annoying me, but it'll clear eventually. I'm not stuck to a deadline or anything. In short, and for a person with nothing to say, I do realise this blog entry's gone on for about a year - although I'm absolutely fine and there's nothing the matter and I'm not about to go out and consume my body weight in fried chicken, I'm just feeling a bit nothing-ish at the moment. But it's just a blip and I'll get over it.
I promise I'll be less miserable and grumpy next time - so please join me again on Friday. Hopefully I'll have got the 2 1/2 stone shiny sticker and certificate by then and the llamas will put on a fiesta that will blow your minds!!
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Easter Parade
So, the Easter weekend did screw up my opportunities to post any blog entries and as a result I may have wavered somewhat over the weekend in my healthy eating resolve. But never mind. Holidays are always peculiar times for everyone. I mean, how many of you have to keep reminding yourself that it's Tuesday?! Don't lie, now, I've done it about 100 times already this morning!!
On Thursday I went for the weigh in a little earlier than usual. My goal was to reach my Club 10 target by Easter and as I was only 2lbs away from it I thought I might've done it. I was pretty good during the week. I mean, there was Saturday, where I consumed my entire year's worth of calories in liquid form. But I really reined it back in over the rest of the week, even though I didn't do a great deal of exercise, and although I didn't really hold out a great deal of hope, I though that perhaps I might've just done it - or at least just got within a pound or so.
Luckily, I lost 2 1/2lbs. So, my Easter target was met, the llamas fiesta-ed like there was no tomorrow, and the weekend began in a very merry fashion indeed. It was all good in the proverbial hood.
The highlight of the weekend, definitely, was getting my sister to watch films. Normally our flat is a bit of a Sport Only Zone, and although I can put up with sport as much as the next person and I do try and get into it, we did seem to spend the week leading up to The Masters exclusively watching Sky Sports News, which did start to grate a little. So, on Friday, we watched, not one, but THREE films. They included Muppets Treasure Island (it's no Robert Newton version, I grant you - but it does have Kermit the Frog, which the original Disney version definitely couldn't boast), The Cutting Edge (yes, it's a chick flick - but the leading lady was the voice of Nala in The Lion King which instantly makes her okay by me, and it was a sport-based chick flick so it wasn't quite as awful as it could have been) and - and this was quite an achievement, I feel - Thor! I'd re-bought it that morning because I'd loaned it to Rachael a few months ago and was really starting to get terrible withdrawals from it. I mean, you can't go too far wrong with a Kenneth Branagh film. It's like he married superheroes and Shakespeare, two of my favourite things, to make an absolute epic. Loved it. It had action, humour, explosions, scary baddies, brilliant dialogue, Chris Hemsworth, Aled from the Chris Moyles Breakfast Show (in disguise as Loki) and a cameo from my new future ex-husband, Jeremy Renner (the trick with celebrity crushes is to aim ridiculously high but stay realistic!). I mean, what more do you want from a film?!
Jo actually liked it, in the main (she mostly liked the scene where Thor stalked around the kitchen in no shirt and then declared, "This mortal frame requires sustenance! Bring me food!") - but she was a bit peeved that there was no snog at the end between Thor and Natalie Portman. Well. I'm sure there'll be one in Thor 2. MAYBE even one in The Avengers - he has to get back to earth somehow and he might've taken time out to look her up. But there WAS one about 20 minutes from the end, I mean - isn't that enough PDA for one film?! Anyway, she should try being a Spider-Man fan. We had to wait until right at the end of Spidey 2 before Peter and Mary-Jane got together!!
The rest of the weekend was, however, completely taken up with sport. There was a lot of The Masters - and congratulations to Bubba Watson on a well-deserved win. We also watched a bit of rugby and saw Wigan batter St Helens in the Good Friday fixture - but no sporting achievement was as well-received in Wainwright Mansions as Everton walloping Sunderland 4-0 at Goodison yesterday. Fabulous news. Just hope we can keep it up for when we face Liverpool at Wembley on Saturday for the FA Cup Semi-Final. *worries*.
So now, back to work. For as long as that lasts, anyway. I've decided to look for something else. It's been two years now and to be honest I really need to work full-time, which is something I can't do here. It's a lot of upheaval, but with so many other things changing this year, perhaps a new job really is the way forward. Who knows. I mean, obviously, when Adam and I win the BBC sitcom competition, all our worries will be over - but until then I suppose boring secretary jobs will have to do!!
Join me again on Friday, when I'll be able to give you the lowdown on what happens at the weigh-in on Thursday. I need to lose 3 1/2 lbs to get my next half-stone award, which I doubt will happen, but I might at least get halfway there...!!
On Thursday I went for the weigh in a little earlier than usual. My goal was to reach my Club 10 target by Easter and as I was only 2lbs away from it I thought I might've done it. I was pretty good during the week. I mean, there was Saturday, where I consumed my entire year's worth of calories in liquid form. But I really reined it back in over the rest of the week, even though I didn't do a great deal of exercise, and although I didn't really hold out a great deal of hope, I though that perhaps I might've just done it - or at least just got within a pound or so.
Luckily, I lost 2 1/2lbs. So, my Easter target was met, the llamas fiesta-ed like there was no tomorrow, and the weekend began in a very merry fashion indeed. It was all good in the proverbial hood.
The highlight of the weekend, definitely, was getting my sister to watch films. Normally our flat is a bit of a Sport Only Zone, and although I can put up with sport as much as the next person and I do try and get into it, we did seem to spend the week leading up to The Masters exclusively watching Sky Sports News, which did start to grate a little. So, on Friday, we watched, not one, but THREE films. They included Muppets Treasure Island (it's no Robert Newton version, I grant you - but it does have Kermit the Frog, which the original Disney version definitely couldn't boast), The Cutting Edge (yes, it's a chick flick - but the leading lady was the voice of Nala in The Lion King which instantly makes her okay by me, and it was a sport-based chick flick so it wasn't quite as awful as it could have been) and - and this was quite an achievement, I feel - Thor! I'd re-bought it that morning because I'd loaned it to Rachael a few months ago and was really starting to get terrible withdrawals from it. I mean, you can't go too far wrong with a Kenneth Branagh film. It's like he married superheroes and Shakespeare, two of my favourite things, to make an absolute epic. Loved it. It had action, humour, explosions, scary baddies, brilliant dialogue, Chris Hemsworth, Aled from the Chris Moyles Breakfast Show (in disguise as Loki) and a cameo from my new future ex-husband, Jeremy Renner (the trick with celebrity crushes is to aim ridiculously high but stay realistic!). I mean, what more do you want from a film?!
Jo actually liked it, in the main (she mostly liked the scene where Thor stalked around the kitchen in no shirt and then declared, "This mortal frame requires sustenance! Bring me food!") - but she was a bit peeved that there was no snog at the end between Thor and Natalie Portman. Well. I'm sure there'll be one in Thor 2. MAYBE even one in The Avengers - he has to get back to earth somehow and he might've taken time out to look her up. But there WAS one about 20 minutes from the end, I mean - isn't that enough PDA for one film?! Anyway, she should try being a Spider-Man fan. We had to wait until right at the end of Spidey 2 before Peter and Mary-Jane got together!!
The rest of the weekend was, however, completely taken up with sport. There was a lot of The Masters - and congratulations to Bubba Watson on a well-deserved win. We also watched a bit of rugby and saw Wigan batter St Helens in the Good Friday fixture - but no sporting achievement was as well-received in Wainwright Mansions as Everton walloping Sunderland 4-0 at Goodison yesterday. Fabulous news. Just hope we can keep it up for when we face Liverpool at Wembley on Saturday for the FA Cup Semi-Final. *worries*.
So now, back to work. For as long as that lasts, anyway. I've decided to look for something else. It's been two years now and to be honest I really need to work full-time, which is something I can't do here. It's a lot of upheaval, but with so many other things changing this year, perhaps a new job really is the way forward. Who knows. I mean, obviously, when Adam and I win the BBC sitcom competition, all our worries will be over - but until then I suppose boring secretary jobs will have to do!!
Join me again on Friday, when I'll be able to give you the lowdown on what happens at the weigh-in on Thursday. I need to lose 3 1/2 lbs to get my next half-stone award, which I doubt will happen, but I might at least get halfway there...!!
Friday, 30 March 2012
Tales of the Unexpected
Ah, the fragrant odour of smog. The feel of the tarmacadam beneath the feet. The cars driving on the left hand side of the road. I am back in England, folks - and as lovely as France is, I must say I was very glad to be reunited with my Batman bedding after travelling 800 miles over four trains and two taxis on Wednesday night.
The llamas have had a lovely holiday and no mistake. Miguel looks very dashing in his new sombrero blanco, Enrique actually managed to relax and had a few chocolate milkshakes by the pool. Ricardo made a new friend, a llama named Antonio. They got on so well that Antonio has agreed to come back to England and join their dance troupe. You want to see his moonwalk - it's really a sight to behold!!
The llamas have definitely got their legwarmers on this week and are limbering up for quite a fiesta. Why not? After all, we've all been on holiday for a week and had a lovely time - and, even more excitingly, after a week away and eating like a lunatic, I got on the scales at Fat Club last night and discovered to my absolute shock and delight that I had, despite three desserts last Saturday, lost 4lbs!!
So chuffed. I really thought I'd put weight on this week, I'd prepared myself for putting on 5lbs and I was amazed that I hadn't. I've only got 2lbs more to lose before I reach my Club 10 target, so hopefully I'll be able to box that off next week. I know I've gone some weeks and really tried hard and only lost 1/2 lb, but then other weeks I've not been too bothered and totally forgot about it and ended up losing 3 or 4 lbs, so I'm going to go for the relaxed approach this week. Fingers crossed I'll make it.
I've lost 2st 1lb altogether, after my 11th weigh-in. It's not a record-breaking staggering amount, but that's fine. I'm still losing weight and I should have reached my target of losing 7st by the end of September, according to my little Slimming World Graph. I would like to have lost another stone, or at least be well on my way to having lost another stone by the end of April - there's a huge party coming up in the middle of May and I've got a dress lined up for it that I really want to be able to fit into. All I need is a steely determination and the total avoidance of chocolate mousse...
A friend of mine told me back in January when I was a bit stressed out after having put 1 1/2 lbs on, that weight-loss builds momentum as you go on, he likened it to a train gathering pace. And I have to say, he was absolutely right (thanks, Timbolicious!). I've added up all my weight-lossses over the last three months. Including my 1 1/2lb gain in January, my weight loss has been very progressive. In January I lost 8 1/2 lbs, in February I lost 9 1/2 lbs, and in March I lost a total of 13lbs. So I'm losing weight at a much faster rate now than I was when I started, which is all very encouraging. Hopefully I'll carry on in this vein during April. Who knows. It's all very exciting anyway. For anyone who hasn't seen me in a while, I haven't really changed shape too much except for the fact I do go in slightly in the middle now. It's a really slow process but I'm confident that if I stick to it, I'll get there in the end.
Well, after all that, I shall leave you to have a fabulous weekend. There's a bit of a sad note to my weekend as it's the mini-leaving party for my beloved pixie princess, Helena, who moves to Australia in two weeks' time. I miss her already. Although rumour has it she will come back. Hope so. It's a bloomin' long way to go for a quick visit. There is talk of a beer and wine festival at the Commercial Vehicle Museum in Leyland - and if I remember anything from Saturday I shall be sure to relay it to you on Monday.
Whatever you're up to, have a great weekend, and I'll see you all back here on Monday morning!!
The llamas have had a lovely holiday and no mistake. Miguel looks very dashing in his new sombrero blanco, Enrique actually managed to relax and had a few chocolate milkshakes by the pool. Ricardo made a new friend, a llama named Antonio. They got on so well that Antonio has agreed to come back to England and join their dance troupe. You want to see his moonwalk - it's really a sight to behold!!
The llamas have definitely got their legwarmers on this week and are limbering up for quite a fiesta. Why not? After all, we've all been on holiday for a week and had a lovely time - and, even more excitingly, after a week away and eating like a lunatic, I got on the scales at Fat Club last night and discovered to my absolute shock and delight that I had, despite three desserts last Saturday, lost 4lbs!!
So chuffed. I really thought I'd put weight on this week, I'd prepared myself for putting on 5lbs and I was amazed that I hadn't. I've only got 2lbs more to lose before I reach my Club 10 target, so hopefully I'll be able to box that off next week. I know I've gone some weeks and really tried hard and only lost 1/2 lb, but then other weeks I've not been too bothered and totally forgot about it and ended up losing 3 or 4 lbs, so I'm going to go for the relaxed approach this week. Fingers crossed I'll make it.
I've lost 2st 1lb altogether, after my 11th weigh-in. It's not a record-breaking staggering amount, but that's fine. I'm still losing weight and I should have reached my target of losing 7st by the end of September, according to my little Slimming World Graph. I would like to have lost another stone, or at least be well on my way to having lost another stone by the end of April - there's a huge party coming up in the middle of May and I've got a dress lined up for it that I really want to be able to fit into. All I need is a steely determination and the total avoidance of chocolate mousse...
A friend of mine told me back in January when I was a bit stressed out after having put 1 1/2 lbs on, that weight-loss builds momentum as you go on, he likened it to a train gathering pace. And I have to say, he was absolutely right (thanks, Timbolicious!). I've added up all my weight-lossses over the last three months. Including my 1 1/2lb gain in January, my weight loss has been very progressive. In January I lost 8 1/2 lbs, in February I lost 9 1/2 lbs, and in March I lost a total of 13lbs. So I'm losing weight at a much faster rate now than I was when I started, which is all very encouraging. Hopefully I'll carry on in this vein during April. Who knows. It's all very exciting anyway. For anyone who hasn't seen me in a while, I haven't really changed shape too much except for the fact I do go in slightly in the middle now. It's a really slow process but I'm confident that if I stick to it, I'll get there in the end.
Well, after all that, I shall leave you to have a fabulous weekend. There's a bit of a sad note to my weekend as it's the mini-leaving party for my beloved pixie princess, Helena, who moves to Australia in two weeks' time. I miss her already. Although rumour has it she will come back. Hope so. It's a bloomin' long way to go for a quick visit. There is talk of a beer and wine festival at the Commercial Vehicle Museum in Leyland - and if I remember anything from Saturday I shall be sure to relay it to you on Monday.
Whatever you're up to, have a great weekend, and I'll see you all back here on Monday morning!!
Friday, 16 March 2012
If Llamas had Thumbs...
...They would be held aloft right now, like Sir Paul McCartney in llamaesque form, jubilantly declaring a silent victory in one of the many battles in my war with weight.
Ah, but llamas don't have thumbs. They have hooves. What are hooves for, Ricardo?
"Son para bailar, señora!"
Eh?
"He says, 'They're for dancing, lady!'"
(Thank goodness for my half-English llama, Steve!)
Right!! Hit it!!!
*shakes maracas as if possessed by the spirit of Davy Jones himself*
3 1/2 lbs off!! Who'd've thought? I certainly wouldn't. In fact I told the weigh-in lady that I was convinced I'd put weight on. I explained that it wasn't that I'd been naughty, I'd just not really eaten very much and done practically no exercise. So, when I got on the scales and it said that, we were all shocked - even Andrea the Consultant!
I'm now 3lbs off my 2 stone award and 6lbs off my Club 10 target. I mean, it's going well, isn't it?! It's all happening. The chart thingy on the Slimming World website thinks I'll have achieved my final target by mid-September. I can cope with that. That's only six months away.
I'll be skinny. Well. Thinner. Sooner than I think. I don't know, it still seems impossible. But if I keep doing it then it might just happen. One day. Maybe.
Briefly, in other news - the script is finished and going in the post this afternoon. I'm really proud of it. Don't think I've ever really been proud of anything I've written before, I can always see improvements and things that I should've done better. And I know I wouldn't have got it done - and it definitely wouldn't have been so funny - if it hadn't been for my lovely writing partner. The man is a legend. Wainwright & Leslie. Almost as catchy as Galton & Simpson. Watch out, we'll be taking over television before you know it. I can tell. He'll get his own panel show and I'll just take advantage of the free booze at the awards ceremonies before clumsily trying it on with David Mitchell... High life - we're ready for you!
This weekend will basically consist of doing boring things like packing and cleaning before the sister and I go on our French adventures. I'm very excited about it now. Not only will I get to see my other big sister who I haven't seen in over a year, I'll also get to spend a few brief minutes with my best pal, Nathan, during my fleeting stop in London. Just about time for a hug and a hi - but totally worth it, and hooray for him for making it possible!!
Join me again on Monday for the penultimate English blog entry of the month, when I'll be looking forward to speaking French again - or not, and probably panicking ever so slightly about remembering my passport...
Ah, but llamas don't have thumbs. They have hooves. What are hooves for, Ricardo?
"Son para bailar, señora!"
Eh?
"He says, 'They're for dancing, lady!'"
(Thank goodness for my half-English llama, Steve!)
Right!! Hit it!!!
*shakes maracas as if possessed by the spirit of Davy Jones himself*
3 1/2 lbs off!! Who'd've thought? I certainly wouldn't. In fact I told the weigh-in lady that I was convinced I'd put weight on. I explained that it wasn't that I'd been naughty, I'd just not really eaten very much and done practically no exercise. So, when I got on the scales and it said that, we were all shocked - even Andrea the Consultant!
I'm now 3lbs off my 2 stone award and 6lbs off my Club 10 target. I mean, it's going well, isn't it?! It's all happening. The chart thingy on the Slimming World website thinks I'll have achieved my final target by mid-September. I can cope with that. That's only six months away.
I'll be skinny. Well. Thinner. Sooner than I think. I don't know, it still seems impossible. But if I keep doing it then it might just happen. One day. Maybe.
Briefly, in other news - the script is finished and going in the post this afternoon. I'm really proud of it. Don't think I've ever really been proud of anything I've written before, I can always see improvements and things that I should've done better. And I know I wouldn't have got it done - and it definitely wouldn't have been so funny - if it hadn't been for my lovely writing partner. The man is a legend. Wainwright & Leslie. Almost as catchy as Galton & Simpson. Watch out, we'll be taking over television before you know it. I can tell. He'll get his own panel show and I'll just take advantage of the free booze at the awards ceremonies before clumsily trying it on with David Mitchell... High life - we're ready for you!
This weekend will basically consist of doing boring things like packing and cleaning before the sister and I go on our French adventures. I'm very excited about it now. Not only will I get to see my other big sister who I haven't seen in over a year, I'll also get to spend a few brief minutes with my best pal, Nathan, during my fleeting stop in London. Just about time for a hug and a hi - but totally worth it, and hooray for him for making it possible!!
Join me again on Monday for the penultimate English blog entry of the month, when I'll be looking forward to speaking French again - or not, and probably panicking ever so slightly about remembering my passport...
Monday, 12 March 2012
Crash! Boom! Bang!
Can't believe it's Monday again. Can't a girl get a break?! All I want is just one day off, just one, on my own, to get my little head straight, to get some things done that need doing and to just have a few hours of silence. God. Sounds like heaven. It's all too much. I need everything to stop for a while so my head stops spinning. I have a feeling it won't happen until at least Easter, though. Even then, I have my doubts!
Saturday was lovely. I haven't seen my niece and nephews (collectively still termed 'the kids' despite the fact they're all grown up and only a few years younger than I am) all year. Which is partly due to general bad auntie-dom, but also due to the fact Southport is a hell of a place to navigate into and out of on public transport - and the fact my niece now lives in Bristol. Which is quite a walk. Still, getting to spend time with any of them is on my favourite things to do in the whole world list - so spending time with all three of them at once made me ridiculously happy. It's my Mum and Dad's 50th anniversary at the end of March and the celebrations began on Saturday. Well. Technically I think they began last Wednesday when Mum invited some of my cousins over, but this was the first actual party for them, and there will be more celebrations as the month progresses. I mean, why not? If you're going to celebrate something so monumental, do it properly!!
I got really upset yesterday. I have never known an overweight person get heckled more than I do while minding their own business walking down the street. Honestly. It's ridiculous. I must be some sort of monster. People must visibly recoil in horror when they look at me and get a little bit sick in their mouths at the sight of the putrid mass that is me. Honestly. I was just walking to my pal's house, feeling quite proud of myself for not being knackered at the half-way point, when I saw three kids on the pavement a bit further up the road. I hate children (I say 'children', they were probably about 17, however, evidently still not old enough to have learned any people skills), as you know, so I thought rather than have to share the same airspace as them, I'd just cross the road. As I did, this happened:
BOY 1: Bloody hell, you're fat, aren't you?
ME: [thinking] Ignore him, ignore him, he may be talking to... someone else... even if you are the only other person on the street!
BOY 1: Erm, excuse me, didn't you hear me?
ME: [thinking] Holy hell! Vile people are getting braver! I wish I knew more people on this road so I could just call on them and hide till they went away!
BOY 2: I'm sorry, were you talking to me, I thought you were talking to the fat person who just crossed the road!
ME: [thinking] If only there was a convenient tall building I could throw myself off at this juncture - it'd be over quickly, I must have one hell of a gravitational pull!!
I mean - goodness only knows what they'd've said if they'd seen me walking down the street at the beginning of January, they'd've probably had a heart attack - as between all three of them they probably only have one heart.
I know. I know what you're all saying. They're idiots - and this is true. They were only showing off in front of their friends - and this is true too, because one of them was a girl. I am quite aware that their hostility and attempts to humiliate me in public was merely due to the fact that they likely have to compensate for inadequate-sized, ineffectual genetalia. And I do derive a smug sense of satisfaction that, if they ever read this blog entry, they wouldn't have a clue what the last sentence meant. But then you can't help that little voice in the back of your head saying, "They're only saying what everyone else is thinking because they don't know you so they're not worried about offending you." You'd think, the more it happened, the less it'd hurt, but to be honest, it doesn't hurt any less - if anything, especially after all the hard work I've put in over the last nine weeks, it hurts more.
I'm feeling very wobbly at the moment, I think that's what I'm saying. I keep having dreams about devouring the contents of a sweet shop and I wake up feeling really bloated and horrible, even though I know I haven't really eaten anything. I felt a bit of a failure on Thursday night and managed to talk myself round by Friday - but now I feel as though perhaps my initial self-loathing was possibly warranted. The thing is, I'm really doing my best and I feel like it isn't good enough but I've no idea what else I can possibly do to make it better. I know I'm a bit grumpy, but by and large I like to think I'm quite a nice person - I definitely wouldn't go out of my way to upset anyone, and I don't understand why complete strangers feel the need to inform me of how large I am when I am clearly already painfully aware of the fact. Really. Stop it. It's fine. I know. I'm doing something about it. It isn't a miracle cure, it's a long, hard slog - so it'll take time, but I'm doing it. Just... back off and stop heckling me! I wouldn't mind but they're not even funny like Stadler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show!!
So, all in all, I'm feeling far too Mondayish for my own good today. Still. There's only seven hours until I'm on the train on my way home. Sorry. Six hours and fifty nine minutes...
Join me again on Wednesday. The good thing about that will be the fact that as I'm already pretty much at rock bottom today, I can't hit a midweek slump by Wednesday - so with any luck I'll be feeling far more cheerful and positive about everything. Well. Perhaps!!
Saturday was lovely. I haven't seen my niece and nephews (collectively still termed 'the kids' despite the fact they're all grown up and only a few years younger than I am) all year. Which is partly due to general bad auntie-dom, but also due to the fact Southport is a hell of a place to navigate into and out of on public transport - and the fact my niece now lives in Bristol. Which is quite a walk. Still, getting to spend time with any of them is on my favourite things to do in the whole world list - so spending time with all three of them at once made me ridiculously happy. It's my Mum and Dad's 50th anniversary at the end of March and the celebrations began on Saturday. Well. Technically I think they began last Wednesday when Mum invited some of my cousins over, but this was the first actual party for them, and there will be more celebrations as the month progresses. I mean, why not? If you're going to celebrate something so monumental, do it properly!!
I got really upset yesterday. I have never known an overweight person get heckled more than I do while minding their own business walking down the street. Honestly. It's ridiculous. I must be some sort of monster. People must visibly recoil in horror when they look at me and get a little bit sick in their mouths at the sight of the putrid mass that is me. Honestly. I was just walking to my pal's house, feeling quite proud of myself for not being knackered at the half-way point, when I saw three kids on the pavement a bit further up the road. I hate children (I say 'children', they were probably about 17, however, evidently still not old enough to have learned any people skills), as you know, so I thought rather than have to share the same airspace as them, I'd just cross the road. As I did, this happened:
BOY 1: Bloody hell, you're fat, aren't you?
ME: [thinking] Ignore him, ignore him, he may be talking to... someone else... even if you are the only other person on the street!
BOY 1: Erm, excuse me, didn't you hear me?
ME: [thinking] Holy hell! Vile people are getting braver! I wish I knew more people on this road so I could just call on them and hide till they went away!
BOY 2: I'm sorry, were you talking to me, I thought you were talking to the fat person who just crossed the road!
ME: [thinking] If only there was a convenient tall building I could throw myself off at this juncture - it'd be over quickly, I must have one hell of a gravitational pull!!
I mean - goodness only knows what they'd've said if they'd seen me walking down the street at the beginning of January, they'd've probably had a heart attack - as between all three of them they probably only have one heart.
I know. I know what you're all saying. They're idiots - and this is true. They were only showing off in front of their friends - and this is true too, because one of them was a girl. I am quite aware that their hostility and attempts to humiliate me in public was merely due to the fact that they likely have to compensate for inadequate-sized, ineffectual genetalia. And I do derive a smug sense of satisfaction that, if they ever read this blog entry, they wouldn't have a clue what the last sentence meant. But then you can't help that little voice in the back of your head saying, "They're only saying what everyone else is thinking because they don't know you so they're not worried about offending you." You'd think, the more it happened, the less it'd hurt, but to be honest, it doesn't hurt any less - if anything, especially after all the hard work I've put in over the last nine weeks, it hurts more.
I'm feeling very wobbly at the moment, I think that's what I'm saying. I keep having dreams about devouring the contents of a sweet shop and I wake up feeling really bloated and horrible, even though I know I haven't really eaten anything. I felt a bit of a failure on Thursday night and managed to talk myself round by Friday - but now I feel as though perhaps my initial self-loathing was possibly warranted. The thing is, I'm really doing my best and I feel like it isn't good enough but I've no idea what else I can possibly do to make it better. I know I'm a bit grumpy, but by and large I like to think I'm quite a nice person - I definitely wouldn't go out of my way to upset anyone, and I don't understand why complete strangers feel the need to inform me of how large I am when I am clearly already painfully aware of the fact. Really. Stop it. It's fine. I know. I'm doing something about it. It isn't a miracle cure, it's a long, hard slog - so it'll take time, but I'm doing it. Just... back off and stop heckling me! I wouldn't mind but they're not even funny like Stadler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show!!
So, all in all, I'm feeling far too Mondayish for my own good today. Still. There's only seven hours until I'm on the train on my way home. Sorry. Six hours and fifty nine minutes...
Join me again on Wednesday. The good thing about that will be the fact that as I'm already pretty much at rock bottom today, I can't hit a midweek slump by Wednesday - so with any luck I'll be feeling far more cheerful and positive about everything. Well. Perhaps!!
Friday, 9 March 2012
I am Not a Number, I am a Free Woman!
You see, there's a reason for me updating my blog on a Friday rather than on a Thursday night. If I'd asked the llamas to dance for me last night, Ricardo would have looked derisively at me and replied, "La mitad de una libra? Eso no vale ni siquiera una sonrisa, la novia!" - or, as they say in Spanish, "Half a pound? That isn't even worth a smile, girlfriend!"
He'd have been right. I was gutted. There's no point in all of this 'any loss is a good loss' thing as soon as you get that news. It's very encouraging and motivating two or three hours later when you've finished beating yourself up and you're in the process of dusting yourself down and starting all over again - and admittedly it's more helpful than handing over a large slice of chocolate cake and saying "to hell with it, get this down you!" But at the time - when you'd been hoping and striving to lose a minimum of 2lbs and you only lose 1/2lb - trying to get any posititivity out of that feeling of abject failure is really tough.
However, I've slept on it. Not the llama - the bitter disappointment that after a week of sensible eating and walking like a true Wainwright, I only lost half a blasted pound. Now, after a fabulous night's sleep - now I can say the words we've all been waiting for all week:
Hit it, llamas!!!
*shimmys around the room shaking maracas*
Why the celebration?? Because, as I realised this morning, my focus had been dead wrong all week.
When I first started this weight loss thing, I wanted to lose five dress sizes. I had absolutely no idea how much I weighed because I'd been too scared to stand on a pair of scales for at least five years (even when I got weighed at the doctors I closed my eyes and told them not to tell me what the scales said!), and I had no idea how much I wanted or, indeed, needed to lose in pounds and ounces. That's still my aim. I didn't think I'd lost sight of that, particularly, but when people start bringing scales into the equation, naturally your focus gets shifted to how much you weigh now and how much you ideally should weigh.
Thankfully, Slimming World aren't interested particularly in focussing on BMIs and don't have that "if you're X feet and inches tall you should weigh X stone otherwise you're fat" mentality. You set your own target, you don't even need to tell them what it is if you don't want to, they'll just give you the right support until you get to wherever you want to be. Which is great. But, for practical and logistic reasons, they do need to focus on the pounds. Which is a very contagious focus, especially when you can't really see much difference but the scales tell you that you're definitely losing weight.
This week was completely the opposite. I can now see that I'm getting smaller. Even though it's only been a week I can see how the walking is helping to tone me up. I can tell by my clothes being a lot more loose-fitting that I'm getting smaller. I am still working towards being five sizes smaller. I've lost one dress size already. I've only got four to go by August. I'll still do it. It's all about the shape. I'm not going to be dicatated to by a set of numbers on a pair of scales. I'm still Being Skinny!! Even if I did only lose half a pound!!
So, to any of my pals or my other readers who are also on a weight-loss journey and have had similar blip, honestly - don't feel down. You've not failed, even though you might think it. You're still winning. It's the small battles that count. We can all do this. It'll happen. We just need to keep our focus in the right place. You will never wear a pair of scales but you will wear lovely clothes in smaller sizes. You will. It'll happen. Let's do this!!
Join me again on Monday, when I'll give you a full report of the weekend's activity - I'm really excited about seeing my beautiful niece and gorgeous nephews (biological and adopted!) this weekend for one of the early celebrations of Mum and Dad's 50th anniversary. It'll be a lovely weekend - and whatever it is you're up to over the next couple of days, have a fabulous time and I'll see you back here on Monday!!
He'd have been right. I was gutted. There's no point in all of this 'any loss is a good loss' thing as soon as you get that news. It's very encouraging and motivating two or three hours later when you've finished beating yourself up and you're in the process of dusting yourself down and starting all over again - and admittedly it's more helpful than handing over a large slice of chocolate cake and saying "to hell with it, get this down you!" But at the time - when you'd been hoping and striving to lose a minimum of 2lbs and you only lose 1/2lb - trying to get any posititivity out of that feeling of abject failure is really tough.
However, I've slept on it. Not the llama - the bitter disappointment that after a week of sensible eating and walking like a true Wainwright, I only lost half a blasted pound. Now, after a fabulous night's sleep - now I can say the words we've all been waiting for all week:
Hit it, llamas!!!
*shimmys around the room shaking maracas*
Why the celebration?? Because, as I realised this morning, my focus had been dead wrong all week.
When I first started this weight loss thing, I wanted to lose five dress sizes. I had absolutely no idea how much I weighed because I'd been too scared to stand on a pair of scales for at least five years (even when I got weighed at the doctors I closed my eyes and told them not to tell me what the scales said!), and I had no idea how much I wanted or, indeed, needed to lose in pounds and ounces. That's still my aim. I didn't think I'd lost sight of that, particularly, but when people start bringing scales into the equation, naturally your focus gets shifted to how much you weigh now and how much you ideally should weigh.
Thankfully, Slimming World aren't interested particularly in focussing on BMIs and don't have that "if you're X feet and inches tall you should weigh X stone otherwise you're fat" mentality. You set your own target, you don't even need to tell them what it is if you don't want to, they'll just give you the right support until you get to wherever you want to be. Which is great. But, for practical and logistic reasons, they do need to focus on the pounds. Which is a very contagious focus, especially when you can't really see much difference but the scales tell you that you're definitely losing weight.
This week was completely the opposite. I can now see that I'm getting smaller. Even though it's only been a week I can see how the walking is helping to tone me up. I can tell by my clothes being a lot more loose-fitting that I'm getting smaller. I am still working towards being five sizes smaller. I've lost one dress size already. I've only got four to go by August. I'll still do it. It's all about the shape. I'm not going to be dicatated to by a set of numbers on a pair of scales. I'm still Being Skinny!! Even if I did only lose half a pound!!
So, to any of my pals or my other readers who are also on a weight-loss journey and have had similar blip, honestly - don't feel down. You've not failed, even though you might think it. You're still winning. It's the small battles that count. We can all do this. It'll happen. We just need to keep our focus in the right place. You will never wear a pair of scales but you will wear lovely clothes in smaller sizes. You will. It'll happen. Let's do this!!
Join me again on Monday, when I'll give you a full report of the weekend's activity - I'm really excited about seeing my beautiful niece and gorgeous nephews (biological and adopted!) this weekend for one of the early celebrations of Mum and Dad's 50th anniversary. It'll be a lovely weekend - and whatever it is you're up to over the next couple of days, have a fabulous time and I'll see you back here on Monday!!
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