Dazed and Confused

I knew I'd end up a confused mess last night.  I knew it.

The llamas came home, Enrique set about making sure everyone else was unpacked and after they'd all had a long hot soak in a bubble bath I helped Miguel tie his new neckerchief and put on his new sunglasses.  He's a fashion conscious llama but his lack of opposable thumbs does cause him a few problems in the execution of donning and fixing certain items of clothing.

I left them tucking into a lovely tea and told Ricardo I'd give them a call on the Llama Line when I'd been weighed. 

I went in, was told by the lady on the front desk that everyone seems a lot happier this week and that the scales seem to have righted themselves.  So I paid my fiver, toddled off to the weigh-in point and hopped on the scales.

Normally, I would have been delighted and doing a little jig of ecstasy over the fact the scales said I was 3 1/2 lbs lighter... but I was just confused.

I mean... What does that even mean?!!?  Does it mean I've lost 3 1/2 lbs?  Does it mean that I've lost 1/2 lb??  Does it mean that I've basically just maintained weight for two weeks and everything's back to normal?  I mean... seriously - what happened?!?!

Llamas are a very intelligent bunch but, they're also very inquisitive - so if I'd explained the whole saga of the scales to them, they'd've asked me some very complicated mathematical questions that I couldn't answer.  I decided, for the sake of brevity, to just tell them that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs, and so Enrique, invigorated by his week in the sun and hour-long soak in a mint and jasmine bubble bath, quickly got to work on choreographing the llamas' latest dance routine.

Hit it, fellas!!  *whips out maracas and dons Carmen Miranda style hat before shimmying around like a loony*

Whewf!!!  I've really got to stop moving like that, it plays havoc with my pineapples...

So... I think I've lost weight.  Sort of.  Maybe.  Possibly.  I really don't know.  I mean, according to those scales I'm 3 1/2 lbs lighter than I was this time last week.  So that should make me very happy.  But then I know I hadn't put 3lbs on last week.  But maybe I had, I mean a person's body does crazy things at crazy times, maybe it was an unwittingly held-in tinkle or something.  But then what if it wasn't and these new scales are just dodgy?  

I really don't know what to think.  It's a mystery to the likes of me.

Still, maybe these new ones are more accurate.  After all, I'm definitely starting to see some changes in me, my shoulders are pretty skinny now and I've even noticed my legs are getting a bit slimmer at long last.  I'd spent a few weeks not seeing any change at all and worrying that losing 7 stone wasn't going to be enough and I'd almost decided to put my target back by another stone, but I don't think I need to do that now.  I've got 10lbs to lose before I get to the half-way mark, and I suppose it'll be easier to judge from then, but I don't think I'll need to lose more than 7 stone.  Hope not anyway, the first three are turning into an epic melodrama!! 

It's my birthday in a month's time (well, a month yesterday, to be precise) and I'm hoping to have lost the requisite 10lbs to get myself to the half-way mark by then.  If I lose more then great, but because it's pretty much slap-bang in the middle of the year I think it's as good a target date to set as any.  It might take the edge off the inevitable depression associated with entering into the last year of my 20s.  This is it.  Goodbye, youth!  But at least I'll be old and skinny...  Not too skinny though.  Fat plumps out the wrinkles.  Fact.

Join me again next week sometime when I'll hopefully have some news of something.  You may think I'm sounding coy and mysterious but to be honest there's really nothing else doing in SpevLand at the moment, I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen so I can report back on it!!!