Yesterday was okay. The test itself wasn't remotely difficult, all I had to do was just lie down and have flashing lights in my eyes for fifteen minutes and then breathe like Darth Vader during hayfever season for three minutes and then they let me have a kip. Staying awake for twenty-four hours prior to that, however, was pretty tough going. Between half past two and half past three I felt ridiculously hyper, between four and six I thought I was going crazy and felt like my eyeballs were going to fall out of their sockets. The worst part was the car journey to the hospital, I couldn't keep my eyes open!! I must've looked dreadful. I certainly felt like I'd died three weeks earlier and my body was just in the process of catching up with me...
When it finally came to the time the nurse let me sleep, and how I managed to stay awake through the rest of the test is still beyond me, as luck would have it - no sooner did I close my eyes than the workmen outside thought it'd be a great idea to start drilling the pavement. Not even a euphemism. Still, after approximately 28 hours, even if they'd started drilling in the exam room I wouldn't have noticed, I was out like a light for fifteen glorious minutes. Sigh. It was great.
Anyway, that's all over now and hopefully I won't have to do it again.
But today was my second weigh-in after a week of generally being good and refusing yummy stuff and being completely sober, I hopped back on the scales, waiting to see how I'd done. The llamas got their new leg-warmers on especially for the occasion, ready at any moment to put on the fiesta of all fiestas. I crossed my fingers, I thought thin thoughts, I said the magic words "Please don't let me put any weight on...!" and then looked at the number on the scales...
It was exactly the same. Exactly. To the ounce. Absolutely nothing had altered.
Positives: Hey, at least I didn't put any on!
Negatives: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!! What is the point in life?!!? Nothing is worth anything!! I AM POINTLESS!!! I should just die now and save the NHS time and expense on treating any future weight-related health issues!!!! *sob*
After having a mini-breakdown and writing seven different versions of a suicide note, I told my Mum when she came to visit. She said she'd been weighed the previous day and hopped on the scales to see what it said about her. If they're to be believed she put half a stone on in less than 24 hours... Then she said that the scales were actually third-hand and not very good.
So.... erm... Well, the llamas haven't done a fiesta today because we're all scratching our heads in confusion.
I'm changing the scales and getting weighed again tomorrow so I can start all over again. So the llamas will have an extra week to work on their routine. It will be spectacular. Or at least it should be.
Flippin' scales. They do have a habit of spoiling people's day. But they won't do next week!!!
Showing posts with label llamas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label llamas. Show all posts
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Monday, 13 January 2014
Nessun Dorma
(blog post title courtesy of my lovely big sister, Joanna)
Still, at least now I can officially say, in the style of the well-known genius, Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper - "I'm not crazy - my mother had me tested!" Or at least there's definitely nothing physiologically wrong with my brain - and contrary to the scurrilous rumours, I do actually have a brain rolling around in the vast expanse of my cranium. Which is useful.
Despite the fact I suffer rather frequently with bouts of insomnia, I am finding today something of a struggle. All I've wanted to do since 8a.m. has been to have a nap. I think it's mostly a sort of psychological thing (that and the fact that I've barely slept for the past two weeks due to aforementioned insomnia). I know I'm not allowed to sleep so I'm desperate to sleep. Still. I have a few films I'm planning on watching tonight, and I've bought some nice coffee that I'm saving for later so I can feel like I'm being dead naughty having caffeine at midnight. Not really got anything for a midnight feast, but at least I can bask in the joy of knowing that later this year I will be skinnier.
At a slight tangent: Is it wrong that my main ambition is to order a gigantic pizza at midnight and sit eating it in my size 12/14 pyjamas while feeling absolutely no trace of guilt whatsoever? I've never even done that at the size I'm at now, I don't know why I want to do it when I'm skinny! Everyone else might be in this weight loss thing for the health benefits. I just want to be thin enough to eat crap and not beat myself up over it!!
Speaking of weight loss, I have discovered something absolutely amazing about the fact I'm having a second go at it. If you go back to my earlier blog entries, say from January probably through to about March 2012, I really struggled at the beginning to figure out how to function on a healthy eating regime, and how not to panic if I get hungry, or wonder what the hell I can eat when there's only stuff for a sandwich in the house, or all those horrible niggly "can't I just give in and eat my body weight in fry-ups?!?" type dilemmas. This time, I've settled back into the routine pretty much straight away. I've got my dieting head back on and if anything it's more of a relief than a constant series of mind-battles, knowing exactly what I need to do to get myself back on track. It feels far less of a diet and far more of a "right, this is just what I'm doing from now on" type lifestyle change. And to be honest, although the changes I've had to make have been pretty drastic, they've really not been anywhere near the kind of struggle they were when I went through this the first time. So I'm feeling really encouraged by that. I'm not sure if I've actually lost any weight yet, I won't get weighed until Wednesday morning, but I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to be doing, so hopefully the results will follow. I feel a lot more chilled about the whole thing, which can only be a good thing when it comes to actually keeping going on this whole weight-loss regime.
In other news, I have got my Llama-Keeping Licence back and the boys are due home tomorrow. I can't wait to see them, it's been ages and I'm sure we've all got lots of catching up to do. I have some tequila on hand for them - Ricardo says it helps him remember his stories better. They're going to work through the inevitable jet lag to prepare for Wednesday's fiesta just in case I lose weight this week - and they've even incorporated a few moves into their dance routine that I can join in with, which will be very exciting!
Remind me to pick up some red sparkle leg-warmers on my way home from the hospital tomorrow...
Wednesday, 8 January 2014
The Weight of the Situation
So I've re-applied for my llama licence. I had to. I got a postcard from Miguel (I dunno how he managed it due to the lack of his opposable thumbs, but I didn't like to split hairs with him over it) saying that him and Ricardo are broke and can't find work. There are too many Llama Dancing Troupes in Bolivia and they aren't considered a novelty act over there any more. Javier left the troupe (I know, he was everyone's favourite) after an incident with one of the girl llamas in the local theatre and so they're all pretty down on their luck and want to come home as soon as possible. Ricardo's everyday legwarmers went threadbare about six months ago and he's been wearing his gold sparkle ones for the past three weeks which are starting to look a bit grubby. There are no local launderettes and Ricardo's nerves are like piano wires due to the fact he has to walk the streets of Bolivia wearing dirty legwarmers.
It was a very large postcard, that's how he managed to fit so much information on it.
For those of you new to my blog, I'd best explain that I am the proud owner of an invisible and completely imaginary troupe of dancing llamas who put on a fiesta for me every week during 2012 when I was losing weight. They've had a year off travelling around the world (although they finally settled in Bolivia) and going on adventures but now they're just about ready to come home.
This morning I weighed myself for the first time in fifteen months. It's an inaccuracy to say it was 'difficult', because it was actually remarkably easy - I just stood on a pair of scales and tried to think thin thoughts. The build-up, however, was a little daunting. Scales and I have never been friends. They have never said anything nice to me. Of all the plus sides associated with losing weight, stepping on a pair of scales every week was never something I had missed. Part of me secretly hoped that I hadn't really put any weight on at all and that someone had just blown me up with a foot-pump in the night when I wasn't looking. Another part of me worried that I'd put at least eight stone on (112 lbs, for the benefit of my American readers). But I knew that if I was ever going to get anywhere, then I'd need to take a deep breath and get back on the scales, so as soon as I'd woken up and while I was too tired to talk myself out of it, I weighed myself.
It was pretty much as I'd expected. I've put every single gram of weight back on - plus one pound for good luck. So I am more or less exactly where I started (after all, when you weigh the same as an entire rugby league squad, what's an extra pound between friends?!) two years ago. Which, actually, is a really good thing. The slate is completely wiped clean. I can start completely afresh. I know what mistakes I made last time, I know how quickly the weight came off last time so I won't get as impatient with myself. I know what to be aware of and I know not to be afraid that losing weight won't ever happen, because I know it will.
I'm back to Square One - but this time I've got one up on myself from last time. This isn't new ground. I've got this. I've done this, I've been here. And now I know exactly where I'm going...
It was a very large postcard, that's how he managed to fit so much information on it.
For those of you new to my blog, I'd best explain that I am the proud owner of an invisible and completely imaginary troupe of dancing llamas who put on a fiesta for me every week during 2012 when I was losing weight. They've had a year off travelling around the world (although they finally settled in Bolivia) and going on adventures but now they're just about ready to come home.
This morning I weighed myself for the first time in fifteen months. It's an inaccuracy to say it was 'difficult', because it was actually remarkably easy - I just stood on a pair of scales and tried to think thin thoughts. The build-up, however, was a little daunting. Scales and I have never been friends. They have never said anything nice to me. Of all the plus sides associated with losing weight, stepping on a pair of scales every week was never something I had missed. Part of me secretly hoped that I hadn't really put any weight on at all and that someone had just blown me up with a foot-pump in the night when I wasn't looking. Another part of me worried that I'd put at least eight stone on (112 lbs, for the benefit of my American readers). But I knew that if I was ever going to get anywhere, then I'd need to take a deep breath and get back on the scales, so as soon as I'd woken up and while I was too tired to talk myself out of it, I weighed myself.
It was pretty much as I'd expected. I've put every single gram of weight back on - plus one pound for good luck. So I am more or less exactly where I started (after all, when you weigh the same as an entire rugby league squad, what's an extra pound between friends?!) two years ago. Which, actually, is a really good thing. The slate is completely wiped clean. I can start completely afresh. I know what mistakes I made last time, I know how quickly the weight came off last time so I won't get as impatient with myself. I know what to be aware of and I know not to be afraid that losing weight won't ever happen, because I know it will.
I'm back to Square One - but this time I've got one up on myself from last time. This isn't new ground. I've got this. I've done this, I've been here. And now I know exactly where I'm going...
**********Cue theme music to Rocky**********
Monday, 6 January 2014
Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, Start All Over Again
So, yes, it's been ages.
2013 was officially the worst year of my life. Turning 30, surprisingly, was the least traumatic event of the year. Most of my pals know the main things that have happened to my family and I this past year, and just one of them would've been enough to send anyone over the edge - but the culmination of all the traumas ended up with me completely losing it in July and I've been too ill to work since.
Not to mention the fact that the RSPCA have revoked my llama-keeping licence. I sent the boys on holiday to Bolivia and apparently that makes me responsible for the veritable epidemic of llamas in Bolivia. Trust me, nobody was more surprised than I was. All this time I thought they were gay.
Anyway. Now it's 2014 and I haven't stopped thinking about the fact that I've hit the big Three-Oh and still not actually achieved anything I'd set out to achieve. My twenties were mostly a dreadful waste of time and energy. I don't even remember most of them, they were such a non-event. And I'm buggered if I'll waste my thirties in the same way. I don't want to wake up one morning and suddenly realise I'm 40 and be at the same point in my life that I'm at now.
So that's sort of part of the reason I've decided to lose weight again. For the last time. I've really no intention of putting myself through this more than twice. I haven't weighed myself yet but I'm pretty sure I've put all five stone and then some back on. To be honest, the way last year panned out I'm amazed I haven't put twice as much back on. But last year is over. It's time to stop moping and wallowing and sort myself out once and for all. And with everything else spinning horribly out of control - the one thing in my life I do have any say over is what I put into this colossal sphere with limbs known as my body. Maybe if I can get one thing under control, other things might follow. One thing at a time, and all that.
After having lost weight and put it on again, I am aware of a few things. My size actually is important in the way I feel about myself, no matter how much I would like to believe otherwise. I don't judge other people by their size or their looks, and most normal people don't - but I really don't need any excuse to find something to hate and judge myself over. Although intrinsically I'm the same person I always have been, I do know that when I was a bit smaller I wasn't so terrified of going out in public. I'm never going to think I'm in any way awesome, but I know I did get to the stage where I didn't feel like I was too fat and too ugly to live any more. That was quite a nice feeling. I never felt pretty, but I at least felt average-looking, which was a really huge leap for me. Perhaps that's the ceiling. I can't be proud of myself and I can't love myself or like myself - but I KNOW I managed to feel OK about myself. I'd like to feel OK again.
I am not going to rejoin Slimming World, however, I am going to try and stick to the principles of it as closely as I can. It isn't a diet a person can realistically live with for the rest of their life, but there's no denying that their methods do work, Also, I don't want to set myself a time-based target to lose weight by, because I know it took me years to get this gigantic and it's going to take a similar length of time to start looking like a person again. So if by June I haven't lost three stone or whatever little goal I might have in mind, I don't want to freak out about it. It'll happen eventually because I'm going to have to make it happen. Sadly, nobody's gonna come along, wave a magic wand and transform me into Scarlett Johansson!! I have a dress size in mind, rather than a weight. It takes longer to lose a dress size than it does to lose a pound, so that's why I'll be weighing myself once a week. Last time my big letdown was the fact I didn't really exercise, so I know I need to prioritise doing that. Even if it does look like I'm gaining weight at first - someone please remind me that muscle weighs more than fat!!
I'm going to keep the blog going again as well. It's good therapy for me and you never know, hopefully it might help other people too - especially people who've lost a significant amount of weight and then put it back on. It happens. I know I'm not the only one who's done it - and it's nice to know that other people feel the same way and have the same experiences. Being fat is isolating enough without feeling like you're the only one who feels the way you feel. Yes, you do feel ashamed of yourself for being weak enough to get yourself back to the very place you didn't want to be in - but you don't just have one go at weight-loss. For some people it's not an issue, but for a lot of us it is truly a battle - and the one thing you need in a battle is support from your pals. I know how much the support of all my friends meant to me and how much it genuinely helped me keep going when I thought I couldn't back in 2012, and I know I can't do it again without the same encouragement.
I've binned the chocolate. I've knocked booze on the head. Bread and I are no longer friends. I am going to adopt my game face, I will have a cast-iron resolve and hey, eventually - I will have one hell of a wardrobe. In the meantime, I've got work to do.
Now then, where did I put my Skip-It?!?!
2013 was officially the worst year of my life. Turning 30, surprisingly, was the least traumatic event of the year. Most of my pals know the main things that have happened to my family and I this past year, and just one of them would've been enough to send anyone over the edge - but the culmination of all the traumas ended up with me completely losing it in July and I've been too ill to work since.
Not to mention the fact that the RSPCA have revoked my llama-keeping licence. I sent the boys on holiday to Bolivia and apparently that makes me responsible for the veritable epidemic of llamas in Bolivia. Trust me, nobody was more surprised than I was. All this time I thought they were gay.
Anyway. Now it's 2014 and I haven't stopped thinking about the fact that I've hit the big Three-Oh and still not actually achieved anything I'd set out to achieve. My twenties were mostly a dreadful waste of time and energy. I don't even remember most of them, they were such a non-event. And I'm buggered if I'll waste my thirties in the same way. I don't want to wake up one morning and suddenly realise I'm 40 and be at the same point in my life that I'm at now.
So that's sort of part of the reason I've decided to lose weight again. For the last time. I've really no intention of putting myself through this more than twice. I haven't weighed myself yet but I'm pretty sure I've put all five stone and then some back on. To be honest, the way last year panned out I'm amazed I haven't put twice as much back on. But last year is over. It's time to stop moping and wallowing and sort myself out once and for all. And with everything else spinning horribly out of control - the one thing in my life I do have any say over is what I put into this colossal sphere with limbs known as my body. Maybe if I can get one thing under control, other things might follow. One thing at a time, and all that.
After having lost weight and put it on again, I am aware of a few things. My size actually is important in the way I feel about myself, no matter how much I would like to believe otherwise. I don't judge other people by their size or their looks, and most normal people don't - but I really don't need any excuse to find something to hate and judge myself over. Although intrinsically I'm the same person I always have been, I do know that when I was a bit smaller I wasn't so terrified of going out in public. I'm never going to think I'm in any way awesome, but I know I did get to the stage where I didn't feel like I was too fat and too ugly to live any more. That was quite a nice feeling. I never felt pretty, but I at least felt average-looking, which was a really huge leap for me. Perhaps that's the ceiling. I can't be proud of myself and I can't love myself or like myself - but I KNOW I managed to feel OK about myself. I'd like to feel OK again.
I am not going to rejoin Slimming World, however, I am going to try and stick to the principles of it as closely as I can. It isn't a diet a person can realistically live with for the rest of their life, but there's no denying that their methods do work, Also, I don't want to set myself a time-based target to lose weight by, because I know it took me years to get this gigantic and it's going to take a similar length of time to start looking like a person again. So if by June I haven't lost three stone or whatever little goal I might have in mind, I don't want to freak out about it. It'll happen eventually because I'm going to have to make it happen. Sadly, nobody's gonna come along, wave a magic wand and transform me into Scarlett Johansson!! I have a dress size in mind, rather than a weight. It takes longer to lose a dress size than it does to lose a pound, so that's why I'll be weighing myself once a week. Last time my big letdown was the fact I didn't really exercise, so I know I need to prioritise doing that. Even if it does look like I'm gaining weight at first - someone please remind me that muscle weighs more than fat!!
I'm going to keep the blog going again as well. It's good therapy for me and you never know, hopefully it might help other people too - especially people who've lost a significant amount of weight and then put it back on. It happens. I know I'm not the only one who's done it - and it's nice to know that other people feel the same way and have the same experiences. Being fat is isolating enough without feeling like you're the only one who feels the way you feel. Yes, you do feel ashamed of yourself for being weak enough to get yourself back to the very place you didn't want to be in - but you don't just have one go at weight-loss. For some people it's not an issue, but for a lot of us it is truly a battle - and the one thing you need in a battle is support from your pals. I know how much the support of all my friends meant to me and how much it genuinely helped me keep going when I thought I couldn't back in 2012, and I know I can't do it again without the same encouragement.
I've binned the chocolate. I've knocked booze on the head. Bread and I are no longer friends. I am going to adopt my game face, I will have a cast-iron resolve and hey, eventually - I will have one hell of a wardrobe. In the meantime, I've got work to do.
Now then, where did I put my Skip-It?!?!
Friday, 14 September 2012
Get. In.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome everybody to my formerly thrice-weekly blog which now appears to be my once-in-a-blue-moon-but-more-commonly-on-a-Friday blog.
So anyway, this week has been rather non-eventful. I mean there's really not been much to report of anything, it's all work and very little play. I've also gone back on the wagon and sobriety really isn't the most cheerful of mindsets for anyone, especially when you can't even substitute it for doughnuts or chocolate cake.
I hadn't really given a great deal of thought to the diet, particularly, and in fact, as my weight loss has been so hit and miss over the last ten weeks or so, I was quite convinced that if anything I'd've put weight on this week. Especially when I realised that I've not been eating nearly so much veg as I should be eating. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "There's always next week, I'll try harder then! I've still got another six weeks to lose a dress size, no big deal."
Imagine, then, my surprise when the scales declared that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs!!
The llamas were chuffed. They're all ready to go with this week's fiesta, so without any further ado - hit it, lads!!
Whew! That was great, boys!! Just the job!
I was delighted with that result. I honestly didn't expect it. I thought my weeks of losing big numbers of lbs were long gone, and that it'd be a slow and boring, pleasure-free road to box off my last three stone, half a pound here, a pound there... I thought it'd take me The Rest Of My Rotten Stinkin' Life to do it. But now - now there is hope! Now there is a little bright, cheery spark in my heart that says, "Come on, Spevvo, you can do this!! You're probably not really too far now and you'll be legitimately skinny rather than just relatively skinny in comparison to your former spherical physique!"
I mean I have to do it and I have to do it soon. The time left is reduced. I've done all right so far, like, and aside from just not stressing about things and following the plan as best as I can, I'm not 100% sure what else I can do. More fruit, more veg, I don't know if I've ever recommended green tea and a slice of lemon, but trust me, it works. It's an acquired taste but it's a taste well worth acquiring. It'll all come off eventually. I'll soon be svelte. I'll achieve voluptuous rather than rotund. I'll wiggle in all the right places. This will happen. Because if it doesn't, I think I'll cry. Which won't be a remotely helpful reaction and it won't even make me feel better about it but it's the one thing slightly more positive than jumping off a tall building.
The thing that cheered me up the most was that finally, Andrea the Consultant told me that I was really doing well. She said "You're disappearing before my very eyes! You must feel great!!" I genuinely didn't think she'd noticed. A couple of the ladies in group have come up to me and been like "Good grief, you can really tell you've lost weight, you're looking good!" which is really nice, but it was great to finally get a bit of a high five from the lady in charge. She's never been discouraging or dismissive, I'd like to make that clear, but I just genuinely didn't think she'd noticed, and that because she hadn't said anything I mustn't actually look like I've lost any weight. Which obviously is a stupidly warped thought process, I mean for chuff's sake I've lost 60lbs now, I must literally be the only person on earth who hasn't really noticed the difference in me!! In fairness, I avoid reflective surfaces like the plague and whenever I look down at myself all I can see are my bosoms and my hair so I suppose the fact they're still very much there isn't too much of an indicator about how well I've actually done.
So, I went home and had a yummy Slimming World tea of sirloin steak, new potatoes, and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. It was fabulous. My sister is officially the best cook in the world.
This weekend I'm going to a party on Saturday, which will be great. I'm still on the wagon and I'm the designated driver so I'm going to have to do the Being Sober While Meeting New People thing, which is a little worrying, but the people I do know who are going are fabulous so I'm sure it'll all be great. The only problem is that nowadays I only have clothes for work and clothes for the Kingdom Hall. I have no other items of clothing, and as I'm an anti-social sod, I definitely have no party clothes. I'll probably end up going and looking really overdressed. But at least I won't be scruffy!!
Join me sometime next week. Definitely on Friday, when hopefully I'll be even closer to my 4 1/2 stone shiny sticker!!
So anyway, this week has been rather non-eventful. I mean there's really not been much to report of anything, it's all work and very little play. I've also gone back on the wagon and sobriety really isn't the most cheerful of mindsets for anyone, especially when you can't even substitute it for doughnuts or chocolate cake.
I hadn't really given a great deal of thought to the diet, particularly, and in fact, as my weight loss has been so hit and miss over the last ten weeks or so, I was quite convinced that if anything I'd've put weight on this week. Especially when I realised that I've not been eating nearly so much veg as I should be eating. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "There's always next week, I'll try harder then! I've still got another six weeks to lose a dress size, no big deal."
Imagine, then, my surprise when the scales declared that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs!!
The llamas were chuffed. They're all ready to go with this week's fiesta, so without any further ado - hit it, lads!!
***AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIBAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!***
¯ La cucaracha, la cucaracha, dah dee dah de dah de dahh...! ¯
Whew! That was great, boys!! Just the job!
I was delighted with that result. I honestly didn't expect it. I thought my weeks of losing big numbers of lbs were long gone, and that it'd be a slow and boring, pleasure-free road to box off my last three stone, half a pound here, a pound there... I thought it'd take me The Rest Of My Rotten Stinkin' Life to do it. But now - now there is hope! Now there is a little bright, cheery spark in my heart that says, "Come on, Spevvo, you can do this!! You're probably not really too far now and you'll be legitimately skinny rather than just relatively skinny in comparison to your former spherical physique!"
I mean I have to do it and I have to do it soon. The time left is reduced. I've done all right so far, like, and aside from just not stressing about things and following the plan as best as I can, I'm not 100% sure what else I can do. More fruit, more veg, I don't know if I've ever recommended green tea and a slice of lemon, but trust me, it works. It's an acquired taste but it's a taste well worth acquiring. It'll all come off eventually. I'll soon be svelte. I'll achieve voluptuous rather than rotund. I'll wiggle in all the right places. This will happen. Because if it doesn't, I think I'll cry. Which won't be a remotely helpful reaction and it won't even make me feel better about it but it's the one thing slightly more positive than jumping off a tall building.
The thing that cheered me up the most was that finally, Andrea the Consultant told me that I was really doing well. She said "You're disappearing before my very eyes! You must feel great!!" I genuinely didn't think she'd noticed. A couple of the ladies in group have come up to me and been like "Good grief, you can really tell you've lost weight, you're looking good!" which is really nice, but it was great to finally get a bit of a high five from the lady in charge. She's never been discouraging or dismissive, I'd like to make that clear, but I just genuinely didn't think she'd noticed, and that because she hadn't said anything I mustn't actually look like I've lost any weight. Which obviously is a stupidly warped thought process, I mean for chuff's sake I've lost 60lbs now, I must literally be the only person on earth who hasn't really noticed the difference in me!! In fairness, I avoid reflective surfaces like the plague and whenever I look down at myself all I can see are my bosoms and my hair so I suppose the fact they're still very much there isn't too much of an indicator about how well I've actually done.
So, I went home and had a yummy Slimming World tea of sirloin steak, new potatoes, and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. It was fabulous. My sister is officially the best cook in the world.
This weekend I'm going to a party on Saturday, which will be great. I'm still on the wagon and I'm the designated driver so I'm going to have to do the Being Sober While Meeting New People thing, which is a little worrying, but the people I do know who are going are fabulous so I'm sure it'll all be great. The only problem is that nowadays I only have clothes for work and clothes for the Kingdom Hall. I have no other items of clothing, and as I'm an anti-social sod, I definitely have no party clothes. I'll probably end up going and looking really overdressed. But at least I won't be scruffy!!
Join me sometime next week. Definitely on Friday, when hopefully I'll be even closer to my 4 1/2 stone shiny sticker!!
Friday, 7 September 2012
Sleeves Firmly Rolled Up
Normally, as you know, I get pretty narked when I put weight on after a week of being good.
However, this week, I've put half a pound on, and although the llamas haven't come out for a celebratory fiesta (although to be fair they had two fiestas last week so they could do with a break), I'm really not too worried about it.
This is good because I've taken into account that for the first couple of days since my last weigh in I was still a bit wobbly on the diet before getting back on it properly on Monday so I haven't really had a week of being good, I've had about four days of being good. I've also taken into account the fact that I've drunk a lot more water this week, mostly due to the fact I've walked everywhere. I've walked about four miles a day over the last week, which doesn't seem like much but it's more than twice as far as I usually walk, so for me, it's loads, and I've probably developed a teensy tiny bit of muscle. Not to mention the fact I've worked full-time which always screws up my diet plans, and I more often than not end up skipping breakfast altogether, which isn't ideal, I know. But still, I know why I've put on, and that's less frustrating than being really good and still putting half a pound on. AND it means that I'm finally starting to get a bit of perspective on weight loss, realising that it can't always be a constant thing and just because I put a bit on, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or a failure. Which is quite a revelation.
However, at the same time, it's also a bit scary because not being too worried about a weight gain can make you complacent. And I'm not skinny enough to get complacent!
Andrea The Consultant gave us all the New Members' talk again. It's not just been me that's been a bit screw-uppy, everyone's gone a bit off the boil. It's apparently only 16 weigh-ins till Christmas, which doesn't worry me too much because obviously I don't celebrate Christmas and I've no plans around that time anyway other than to eat my own body weight in chocolate and to drink enough alcohol to make Georgie Best, Oliver Reed, Keith Moon and Robert Newton all applaud my stalwart efforts.
But it's only seven weigh-ins until the Michael Nesmith gig, and that does worry me. Even though it shouldn't, really. I know if anyone said to me this time last year I'd be able to wear a size 18 dress to go and see Michael Nesmith in concert, I'd have laughed at the implausibility of both suggestions. So, really, in that sort of context, even if I don't lose another dress size between now and then, I'm still ridiculously thinner than I was this time last year - AND I'll get to fulfill a lifelong ambition and actually be in the same room at the same time as my favourite Monkee. I mean, it's all good. Even if I put four stone on between now and then, the fact I'll be there is incredible enough in itself. Not that I will, of course. I've come much too far now to go back to how I used to be.
But now I'm here, two or three dress sizes to go until I get to target (I probably won't reach that decision until I've lost the next two dress sizes!), and it somehow still doesn't feel like I've done nearly enough. I know it isn't a race. I'm not trying to be thin for an event or because someone else is losing X amount of stones and I want to beat them to it. I'm losing weight because I don't want to spend the rest of my life not doing things because I'm too fat to do them. And if it takes me a year to do it or it takes me 18 months to do it - fine, so long as I do it eventually.
But I still want to get it over and done with as quickly as I can so I can make a start on maintaining it!!
It isn't an impossible ask to drop a dress size in 7 weeks. In fact, it's quite reasonable. I know I can do it. So I'd best get on with it, really, hadn't I?! I've not got time to mope - I've got lbs to shed!
Join me again at some juncture next week when I may have some sort of an update for you. But if not I shall update again on Friday when hopefully, fingers crossed, after a whole week of being good I'll finally have a result worthy of a fiesta from the llamas!!
However, this week, I've put half a pound on, and although the llamas haven't come out for a celebratory fiesta (although to be fair they had two fiestas last week so they could do with a break), I'm really not too worried about it.
This is good because I've taken into account that for the first couple of days since my last weigh in I was still a bit wobbly on the diet before getting back on it properly on Monday so I haven't really had a week of being good, I've had about four days of being good. I've also taken into account the fact that I've drunk a lot more water this week, mostly due to the fact I've walked everywhere. I've walked about four miles a day over the last week, which doesn't seem like much but it's more than twice as far as I usually walk, so for me, it's loads, and I've probably developed a teensy tiny bit of muscle. Not to mention the fact I've worked full-time which always screws up my diet plans, and I more often than not end up skipping breakfast altogether, which isn't ideal, I know. But still, I know why I've put on, and that's less frustrating than being really good and still putting half a pound on. AND it means that I'm finally starting to get a bit of perspective on weight loss, realising that it can't always be a constant thing and just because I put a bit on, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or a failure. Which is quite a revelation.
However, at the same time, it's also a bit scary because not being too worried about a weight gain can make you complacent. And I'm not skinny enough to get complacent!
Andrea The Consultant gave us all the New Members' talk again. It's not just been me that's been a bit screw-uppy, everyone's gone a bit off the boil. It's apparently only 16 weigh-ins till Christmas, which doesn't worry me too much because obviously I don't celebrate Christmas and I've no plans around that time anyway other than to eat my own body weight in chocolate and to drink enough alcohol to make Georgie Best, Oliver Reed, Keith Moon and Robert Newton all applaud my stalwart efforts.
But it's only seven weigh-ins until the Michael Nesmith gig, and that does worry me. Even though it shouldn't, really. I know if anyone said to me this time last year I'd be able to wear a size 18 dress to go and see Michael Nesmith in concert, I'd have laughed at the implausibility of both suggestions. So, really, in that sort of context, even if I don't lose another dress size between now and then, I'm still ridiculously thinner than I was this time last year - AND I'll get to fulfill a lifelong ambition and actually be in the same room at the same time as my favourite Monkee. I mean, it's all good. Even if I put four stone on between now and then, the fact I'll be there is incredible enough in itself. Not that I will, of course. I've come much too far now to go back to how I used to be.
But now I'm here, two or three dress sizes to go until I get to target (I probably won't reach that decision until I've lost the next two dress sizes!), and it somehow still doesn't feel like I've done nearly enough. I know it isn't a race. I'm not trying to be thin for an event or because someone else is losing X amount of stones and I want to beat them to it. I'm losing weight because I don't want to spend the rest of my life not doing things because I'm too fat to do them. And if it takes me a year to do it or it takes me 18 months to do it - fine, so long as I do it eventually.
But I still want to get it over and done with as quickly as I can so I can make a start on maintaining it!!
It isn't an impossible ask to drop a dress size in 7 weeks. In fact, it's quite reasonable. I know I can do it. So I'd best get on with it, really, hadn't I?! I've not got time to mope - I've got lbs to shed!
Join me again at some juncture next week when I may have some sort of an update for you. But if not I shall update again on Friday when hopefully, fingers crossed, after a whole week of being good I'll finally have a result worthy of a fiesta from the llamas!!
Friday, 31 August 2012
Le Gasp!! Il Gaspo!! Die Gazpen!!
Yeah that's right, so shocking I had to say it in French and then translate it into Spanish and German.
The shocks are manifold in this blog entry, so if you're of a nervous disposition I'd recommend changing your knickers now and bringing a spare pair back to the computer with you, just in case.
Firstly... I'm writing a blog entry!
I know, it's been ages. Well, I had my mojo working - but it just didn't work on slimming. I ate. And I drank. And I was merry. Well - I may say I was merry, but actually it was just one long stretch of beating myself up for being weak-willed.
Also, it turns out that I am still very addicted to chocolate. I thought after giving it up for eight months I'd be absolutely fine. No. Not at all. In fact all I want to do with my life is to eat chocolate for breakfast, dinner and tea, give up work and eat my body weight in cocoa-infused products. It's a dangerous substance.
Anyway. I think I'm back on the straight and narrow now. I said I'd give myself twelve months and it's only been eight so, y'know, I won't give up.
The second shocking revelation in today's blog entry is this... the llamas will be having TWO fiestas today!!!
I know, after weeks and weeks of training, they're finally ready for two fiestas. The first one is because, two weeks ago - I finally got my 4stone award. Take it away, chaps...!!
*dances round like a mad eejit* Phewf!!
Yeah, that's right, four stone - that's 56lbs to my American pals and 25.4kg to my... metric pals. It's a small child. Or at least a substantial percentage of the average adult. I only got my certificate on the night, they'd run out of shiny stickers, but fear not, I've got my shiny sticker now and it's there, shining proudly on the back of my Slimming World book.
The second fiesta will come later.
The third shock is this - after nearly two weeks of eating and drinking like an attendee at a Roman banquet, I hopped on the scales last night at Fat Club, and lo and behold, I'd lost a pound!!
I was convinced I'd put at least 10lbs on. At least 10. I'd really given it a good go, y'know. I had chocolate, and doughnuts, and... a lot of booze... and takeaways, and crisps, and basically everything I haven't had in the last eight months!!
In fact, I was so convinced that I'd ruined things for myself that I seriously considered just quitting and carrying on the diet from home. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect of getting back on the scales. I knew exactly how much I'd gone off the rails. Although, to be fair - I've really got Jo to thank that I've got this far anyway, she's an amazing cook and has really kept me on the straight and narrow far more than I realised.
Thankfully, I had a stern talking-to from various friends and family members, and so last night I trudged down the hill to the Church Hall to hop on the scales. I dunno if I've mentioned, but the song that always plays in my head when I get on the scales and get a good result is 'You're the Best' by Joe Esposito (the theme tune to The Karate Kid - the real one, not the silly remake). It was like it was playing in some sort of quadrophonic stereo type capacity when I saw the scales say I'd actually lost weight!!
And now - the FOURTH shock of this blog!!!
The song faded out as the Weighing Lady (I think her name's Natalie but I'm not sure. I really should find out, shouldn't I, I've been going for eight months!) started interrogating me about whether I'd been to group last week, or the week before. I felt a bit guilty but I told her I skipped Fat Club last week and didn't stay to group the week before. She started mumbling to herself and then asked the Check-In Lady (Dawn) if it was definitely me, and Dawn said that it was, and then after a few moments' conflab between them, the Weighing Lady and I had the following conversation:
WL: Because, erm, well - you've been named Woman of the Year!
ME: Oh yeah, right!! Hahahahaha!!!!!
[awkward pause]
ME: What, really?!
WL: Really.
ME: Me?!
WL: You.
ME: [points to self] ME?!?
WL: Yes, that's right.
ME: You mean.... me?!?!!???
WL: [rolls eyes] Yes, you!!
ME: Are you sure???? There must be some sort of mistake!!
WL: No, no, it's you.
[SPEV gazes off distractedly as the record player in her head starts up again - "You're the best... AROOOOUUND!! NOTHIN'S GONNA EVER KEEP YOU DOOOWWNNN!!!!"]
Unfortunately, Andrea the Consultant was on holiday, and so I won't know more about it until next week. I have no idea what it means, but the reports all seem to suggest that I will be getting a certificate, hopefully a shiny sticker and, most excitingly of all - A SASH!!!
That's right, all I'll need is a peaked hat and I could join International Rescue.
So, when I told the llamas, naturally they were all delighted and started leaping about (gambolling, even, I think you could say), doing back flips and Miguel even moonwalked down the street with happiness. Our Joanna cried. It was all very exciting. The latest member of my dancing llama troupe, Pedro, called up one of his 'contacts' and actually arranged a float for the second fiesta!!! I mean it's only a milk-float but you've got to take what you can get, right?
Without further ado - let's all shake our maracas, shimmy like we've no backbone and roll our Rs in a celebratory Latino fashion!!!!
I'm amazed and shocked and... well... Amazed. I can't believe people actually voted for me. I didn't think anyone noticed - I mean not even I've noticed! I hope I don't have to say anything next week.
So, if you've not died of boredom yet, that's basically what's happened over the last couple of weeks, slimming-wise. It didn't feel as though a lot went on - but clearly, it did!! Fabulous.
I've got eight weigh-ins left before the Michael Nesmith concert. I would love to have got my 5 stone award by then, and I'll certainly be working towards it. I've done it four times before so I don't think it's exactly impossible. But it'd still be nice to have done it by the time October 29th comes round.
Join me again - next time... whenever that might be.... maybe next week... when I might have something else to say. Possibly....!!!
The shocks are manifold in this blog entry, so if you're of a nervous disposition I'd recommend changing your knickers now and bringing a spare pair back to the computer with you, just in case.
Firstly... I'm writing a blog entry!
I know, it's been ages. Well, I had my mojo working - but it just didn't work on slimming. I ate. And I drank. And I was merry. Well - I may say I was merry, but actually it was just one long stretch of beating myself up for being weak-willed.
Also, it turns out that I am still very addicted to chocolate. I thought after giving it up for eight months I'd be absolutely fine. No. Not at all. In fact all I want to do with my life is to eat chocolate for breakfast, dinner and tea, give up work and eat my body weight in cocoa-infused products. It's a dangerous substance.
Anyway. I think I'm back on the straight and narrow now. I said I'd give myself twelve months and it's only been eight so, y'know, I won't give up.
The second shocking revelation in today's blog entry is this... the llamas will be having TWO fiestas today!!!
I know, after weeks and weeks of training, they're finally ready for two fiestas. The first one is because, two weeks ago - I finally got my 4stone award. Take it away, chaps...!!
AAARRRRIIIIIIBBBAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ole!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit* Phewf!!
Yeah, that's right, four stone - that's 56lbs to my American pals and 25.4kg to my... metric pals. It's a small child. Or at least a substantial percentage of the average adult. I only got my certificate on the night, they'd run out of shiny stickers, but fear not, I've got my shiny sticker now and it's there, shining proudly on the back of my Slimming World book.
The second fiesta will come later.
The third shock is this - after nearly two weeks of eating and drinking like an attendee at a Roman banquet, I hopped on the scales last night at Fat Club, and lo and behold, I'd lost a pound!!
I was convinced I'd put at least 10lbs on. At least 10. I'd really given it a good go, y'know. I had chocolate, and doughnuts, and... a lot of booze... and takeaways, and crisps, and basically everything I haven't had in the last eight months!!
In fact, I was so convinced that I'd ruined things for myself that I seriously considered just quitting and carrying on the diet from home. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect of getting back on the scales. I knew exactly how much I'd gone off the rails. Although, to be fair - I've really got Jo to thank that I've got this far anyway, she's an amazing cook and has really kept me on the straight and narrow far more than I realised.
Thankfully, I had a stern talking-to from various friends and family members, and so last night I trudged down the hill to the Church Hall to hop on the scales. I dunno if I've mentioned, but the song that always plays in my head when I get on the scales and get a good result is 'You're the Best' by Joe Esposito (the theme tune to The Karate Kid - the real one, not the silly remake). It was like it was playing in some sort of quadrophonic stereo type capacity when I saw the scales say I'd actually lost weight!!
And now - the FOURTH shock of this blog!!!
The song faded out as the Weighing Lady (I think her name's Natalie but I'm not sure. I really should find out, shouldn't I, I've been going for eight months!) started interrogating me about whether I'd been to group last week, or the week before. I felt a bit guilty but I told her I skipped Fat Club last week and didn't stay to group the week before. She started mumbling to herself and then asked the Check-In Lady (Dawn) if it was definitely me, and Dawn said that it was, and then after a few moments' conflab between them, the Weighing Lady and I had the following conversation:
WL: Because, erm, well - you've been named Woman of the Year!
ME: Oh yeah, right!! Hahahahaha!!!!!
[awkward pause]
ME: What, really?!
WL: Really.
ME: Me?!
WL: You.
ME: [points to self] ME?!?
WL: Yes, that's right.
ME: You mean.... me?!?!!???
WL: [rolls eyes] Yes, you!!
ME: Are you sure???? There must be some sort of mistake!!
WL: No, no, it's you.
[SPEV gazes off distractedly as the record player in her head starts up again - "You're the best... AROOOOUUND!! NOTHIN'S GONNA EVER KEEP YOU DOOOWWNNN!!!!"]
Unfortunately, Andrea the Consultant was on holiday, and so I won't know more about it until next week. I have no idea what it means, but the reports all seem to suggest that I will be getting a certificate, hopefully a shiny sticker and, most excitingly of all - A SASH!!!
That's right, all I'll need is a peaked hat and I could join International Rescue.
So, when I told the llamas, naturally they were all delighted and started leaping about (gambolling, even, I think you could say), doing back flips and Miguel even moonwalked down the street with happiness. Our Joanna cried. It was all very exciting. The latest member of my dancing llama troupe, Pedro, called up one of his 'contacts' and actually arranged a float for the second fiesta!!! I mean it's only a milk-float but you've got to take what you can get, right?
Without further ado - let's all shake our maracas, shimmy like we've no backbone and roll our Rs in a celebratory Latino fashion!!!!
Waahhooooo!!!!! *shimmy* *shake* *wiggle* *etc*
I'm amazed and shocked and... well... Amazed. I can't believe people actually voted for me. I didn't think anyone noticed - I mean not even I've noticed! I hope I don't have to say anything next week.
So, if you've not died of boredom yet, that's basically what's happened over the last couple of weeks, slimming-wise. It didn't feel as though a lot went on - but clearly, it did!! Fabulous.
I've got eight weigh-ins left before the Michael Nesmith concert. I would love to have got my 5 stone award by then, and I'll certainly be working towards it. I've done it four times before so I don't think it's exactly impossible. But it'd still be nice to have done it by the time October 29th comes round.
Join me again - next time... whenever that might be.... maybe next week... when I might have something else to say. Possibly....!!!
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Dressin' Fine, Makin' Time
I would like to apologise for my complete failure on the blogging front recently. Work's been mental and I haven't had time to write. Sorry.
Thursday went well. I lost 2 1/2 lbs. I now have 2 1/2 lbs to lose before I get my 4 stone award. I'd LOVE it if it was this week. I'm giving it my best shot this week. I've been determined, I'm still on the wagon (Day 16. Blood is now coursing through my alcohol stream. I'm starting to see things as they really are. 'Floor!' 'Curtains!' 'Gobshite!' Erm. Sorry. Just went all Father Ted there for a minute!), I've kept to well under 10 Syns a day, except for Saturday when I went half a Syn over, but I'm not worried about that really. I've walked a lot. I haven't been quite as stressed out this week as I have been during the last two weeks about losing weight. I don't feel any different or any thinner. I know I couldn't possibly have put weight on with the things I've been eating, but hey - who knows how the human body works? Certainly not me. It'th a mythtery, as Toyah Wilcox might say. For the benefit of my readers under the age of 35 and who therefore don't know who Toyah Wilcox is - ask your mum. She'll always be Monkey to me. Toyah, that is. Not your mum. I feel as though I'm unwittingly starting to stray into unintentional 'your mum' jokes territory. I'm going to end this aside right now before I get into trouble!
I'm really sorry you missed the fiesta. It was a special fiesta as well, in honour of the synchronised swimming. Ricardo has become obsessed with it. He designed a load of inflatable leg warmers for the llamas and they did a fabulous routine. If I get my 4 stone shiny sticker this week I'll get them to re-create the whole thing for you.
I should point out at this juncture that I will probably be off-grid for the next ten days or so. I'll update as much as I can, obviously, but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I shall be at the annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Liverpool. In the North West for the last 14 years or so it's been held at the Manchester Arena and it's a big, scary place, so my family and I have escaped to somewhere far more exotic for the Convention over the last few years. Stoke-on-Trent. Anyway, this year it's in Liverpool, and as my entire family are from the glorious city, we're very excited about the prospect.
I have new dresses. I had a disastrous afternoon's shopping on Saturday. Not that the company was disastrous, you understand - it was fabulous. After all, I was with my pal, Heather. I know. Two Heathers, no messing. She's awesome and I love her to distraction. So, I had a grand old time as always with her, it was just the dresses were the problem. They were either too short or too low (and although I'm skinny now, I still have massive knockers to deal with) - and often both at the same time. Although at least they all fitted me. It's nice to know that I can walk into a shop, pick up a dress in a particular size and know that it will fit me. I don't think I've ever done that before. It's all progress. I found a new dress yesterday, which is very pretty and fits me, so I'm nearly replete with dresses in my wardrobe, which is all very exciting. Eventually, I will post my 'before' and 'half way through' photos. I just need to retrieve the 'before' photo that my Auntie Heather took of me in January!
After the Convention, I'm moving out of home for a week or so. Long story. I'm sleeping at my pal's house for a few nights and then staying with another pal for a few nights. I should still be able to update the blog while I'm away because I'll still be working, but if not, you'll know why. My life should hopefully return to normal - well, as normal as my life ever gets, anyway - on or around 23 August, which coincides with the Global Public Holiday I've been campaigning for for the last who knows how long - International Keith Moon Day. Everything is wonderful on that day, it's by far my favourite day on the calendar. So it's only fitting, really, that everything sorts itself out by then.
I shall try to update on Wednesday or Thursday but I won't be able to update on my results from Fat Club until at least Monday next week. Sorry about that, chaps. Wish me luck though. I have a feeling that this week I'm seriously going to need it!!
Thursday went well. I lost 2 1/2 lbs. I now have 2 1/2 lbs to lose before I get my 4 stone award. I'd LOVE it if it was this week. I'm giving it my best shot this week. I've been determined, I'm still on the wagon (Day 16. Blood is now coursing through my alcohol stream. I'm starting to see things as they really are. 'Floor!' 'Curtains!' 'Gobshite!' Erm. Sorry. Just went all Father Ted there for a minute!), I've kept to well under 10 Syns a day, except for Saturday when I went half a Syn over, but I'm not worried about that really. I've walked a lot. I haven't been quite as stressed out this week as I have been during the last two weeks about losing weight. I don't feel any different or any thinner. I know I couldn't possibly have put weight on with the things I've been eating, but hey - who knows how the human body works? Certainly not me. It'th a mythtery, as Toyah Wilcox might say. For the benefit of my readers under the age of 35 and who therefore don't know who Toyah Wilcox is - ask your mum. She'll always be Monkey to me. Toyah, that is. Not your mum. I feel as though I'm unwittingly starting to stray into unintentional 'your mum' jokes territory. I'm going to end this aside right now before I get into trouble!
I'm really sorry you missed the fiesta. It was a special fiesta as well, in honour of the synchronised swimming. Ricardo has become obsessed with it. He designed a load of inflatable leg warmers for the llamas and they did a fabulous routine. If I get my 4 stone shiny sticker this week I'll get them to re-create the whole thing for you.
I should point out at this juncture that I will probably be off-grid for the next ten days or so. I'll update as much as I can, obviously, but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I shall be at the annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Liverpool. In the North West for the last 14 years or so it's been held at the Manchester Arena and it's a big, scary place, so my family and I have escaped to somewhere far more exotic for the Convention over the last few years. Stoke-on-Trent. Anyway, this year it's in Liverpool, and as my entire family are from the glorious city, we're very excited about the prospect.
I have new dresses. I had a disastrous afternoon's shopping on Saturday. Not that the company was disastrous, you understand - it was fabulous. After all, I was with my pal, Heather. I know. Two Heathers, no messing. She's awesome and I love her to distraction. So, I had a grand old time as always with her, it was just the dresses were the problem. They were either too short or too low (and although I'm skinny now, I still have massive knockers to deal with) - and often both at the same time. Although at least they all fitted me. It's nice to know that I can walk into a shop, pick up a dress in a particular size and know that it will fit me. I don't think I've ever done that before. It's all progress. I found a new dress yesterday, which is very pretty and fits me, so I'm nearly replete with dresses in my wardrobe, which is all very exciting. Eventually, I will post my 'before' and 'half way through' photos. I just need to retrieve the 'before' photo that my Auntie Heather took of me in January!
After the Convention, I'm moving out of home for a week or so. Long story. I'm sleeping at my pal's house for a few nights and then staying with another pal for a few nights. I should still be able to update the blog while I'm away because I'll still be working, but if not, you'll know why. My life should hopefully return to normal - well, as normal as my life ever gets, anyway - on or around 23 August, which coincides with the Global Public Holiday I've been campaigning for for the last who knows how long - International Keith Moon Day. Everything is wonderful on that day, it's by far my favourite day on the calendar. So it's only fitting, really, that everything sorts itself out by then.
I shall try to update on Wednesday or Thursday but I won't be able to update on my results from Fat Club until at least Monday next week. Sorry about that, chaps. Wish me luck though. I have a feeling that this week I'm seriously going to need it!!
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
24 Toasters from Scunthorpe
Prizes will be handed out to anyone who gets the reference in today's blog title. Answers to the usual address.
It's Wednesday. Just over 24 hours to go and I'll be hopping back on those scales for the first time in three weeks.
I. Am. Terrified.
What if I've thought I've been doing the right things for the last week or two and actually I haven't and I've put a couple of stone on? Actually, is that biologically possible? Even if it isn't I bet I probably still would!!
When you do something unpleasant on a regular basis, the pleasantness doesn't improve, because it's always a horrible thing to do, but the discomfort does subside a little because you're used to it. I can't really think of anything nearly as unpleasant to willingly put oneself through aside from going to work every day. You have to do it because otherwise you starve, it isn't pleasant but you go anyway, and then you usually find it isn't quite so hellish when you get there. Unless you work for the NHS. Fabulous institution, Britain's best idea by miles - absolutely terrible employer.
I'm going off-topic.
My point is, I avoided scales like the plague until January, and then I've subsequently I've hopped on a pair every week for the last 26 weeks or so. I never liked getting on the scales but it had become a slightly less scary prospect. After 20 days away from the scales, half of which were spent mostly in blissful varying stages of inebriation - I have roughly the same desire to get back on the scales as a Death Row convict has when offered a seat a large chair near an electric switch.
But it's one of those things, isn't it? I've got to do it otherwise I'll just slip back into the old routine, and I really don't want that. I've come much too far now. Or at least I think I have. Who knows.
What if the worst happens? What if I do get on the scales tomorrow and even though I've reined it back in SO much over the last ten days I've still put weight on? Am I going to give up? Go back to how things used to be? Think "I'll never get there" and cry for an hour? Probably. But then after I've cried for an hour I'll have a stern talk to myself, stop being weak and pathetic and get the hell back on it again. Marathon. Not a sprint. I will get there. Whether that happens this year or next year. I gave myself 18 months to do this, and on June 3rd 2013 I will look completely different to how I looked on January 1st 2012. I will. I'll even post pictures to prove it.
Maybe!
Join me on Friday. I will have got back on the scales and I'll know exactly what I'm working with. The llamas are going to have a fiesta anyway because it's the Olympics and Ricardo has decided to try and campaign for 'fiesta-ing' to be an Olympic sport. He's even designed Team GB's legwarmers for the Rio Olympics...
It's Wednesday. Just over 24 hours to go and I'll be hopping back on those scales for the first time in three weeks.
I. Am. Terrified.
What if I've thought I've been doing the right things for the last week or two and actually I haven't and I've put a couple of stone on? Actually, is that biologically possible? Even if it isn't I bet I probably still would!!
When you do something unpleasant on a regular basis, the pleasantness doesn't improve, because it's always a horrible thing to do, but the discomfort does subside a little because you're used to it. I can't really think of anything nearly as unpleasant to willingly put oneself through aside from going to work every day. You have to do it because otherwise you starve, it isn't pleasant but you go anyway, and then you usually find it isn't quite so hellish when you get there. Unless you work for the NHS. Fabulous institution, Britain's best idea by miles - absolutely terrible employer.
I'm going off-topic.
My point is, I avoided scales like the plague until January, and then I've subsequently I've hopped on a pair every week for the last 26 weeks or so. I never liked getting on the scales but it had become a slightly less scary prospect. After 20 days away from the scales, half of which were spent mostly in blissful varying stages of inebriation - I have roughly the same desire to get back on the scales as a Death Row convict has when offered a seat a large chair near an electric switch.
But it's one of those things, isn't it? I've got to do it otherwise I'll just slip back into the old routine, and I really don't want that. I've come much too far now. Or at least I think I have. Who knows.
What if the worst happens? What if I do get on the scales tomorrow and even though I've reined it back in SO much over the last ten days I've still put weight on? Am I going to give up? Go back to how things used to be? Think "I'll never get there" and cry for an hour? Probably. But then after I've cried for an hour I'll have a stern talk to myself, stop being weak and pathetic and get the hell back on it again. Marathon. Not a sprint. I will get there. Whether that happens this year or next year. I gave myself 18 months to do this, and on June 3rd 2013 I will look completely different to how I looked on January 1st 2012. I will. I'll even post pictures to prove it.
Maybe!
Join me on Friday. I will have got back on the scales and I'll know exactly what I'm working with. The llamas are going to have a fiesta anyway because it's the Olympics and Ricardo has decided to try and campaign for 'fiesta-ing' to be an Olympic sport. He's even designed Team GB's legwarmers for the Rio Olympics...
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Full to Bursting
This is the happy predicament in which I find myself.
My cheating days are over. I think that's what Kirsten Stewart said to Robert Pattinson (satire!).
I have to say, quite seriously now, that I love Slimming World. For a person of the large persuasion who genuinely loves their food in all its glorious different guises, I'm pretty sure it's the only way. Basically, the idea of it - for those who are lucky enough not to need to lose weight or those who have never heard of the plan before - is to fill up on foods with a lower density of calories (fruit, veg, rice, pasta, potatoes, lean meat etc) so that you basically don't really have a lot of room for foods with a high density of calories (chocolate, cakes, cheese, booze etc), but the diet is still flexible enough to allow some of those foods every day so (each food is appointed a 'Syn' value, and you're allowed between 10-15 'Syns' a day. Not 100% sure of the reason for the purposeful misspelling, but I'm a Monkees fan, so I'll let it slide), theoretically, you don't get put off and you can feasibly just eat that way forever. Which sounds perfectly logical.
Doesn't it sound just TOO easy?? Yes. Tell you what though - if you follow it, it works. Just over 3 1/2 stone later, I'm proof of that.
The reason I mention it is because I'm in that glorious mood of post-lunch. This lunchtime - and bearing in mind I am absolutely 100% hardcore on this diet right now - I managed to cheerfully plough my way through a jacket potato with baked beans, followed by a Vanilla/Chocolate sprinkles Mullerlight and half a canteloupe melon. This was on the back of a breakfast consisting of two boiled eggs, a handful of cherries, a banana and an orange. Stomach - full to capacity. Syns consumed - 0. Associated guilt regarding said full stomach - 0. And don't worry, there's an apple in my bag for later on this afternoon so I will have actually had my five a day!!
Beat that, Weight Watchers.
I have no idea how it works. But it does feel as though the more you eat, the more weight you lose. I'm totally up for that.
I won't be going to weigh-in tonight because there's stuff to do at Wainwright Towers that requires my constant presence. However, I've had a bit of a conflab with Andrea the Consultant and I'll be back next week, and - hopefully - get my 4 stone shiny sticker and matching certificate. I shall be working hard to get there. I just hope it pays off.
The llamas (I know how much you all love them) are fine. They've been taking it easy for the last few weeks, but they're back in training for next Friday's fiesta. I've promised them a fiesta and if I don't deliver on it I think Enrique will keel over with worry. That's right. I'm not losing weight for my health, my appearance or my obsession with filling my wardrobe with dresses - I'm doing it for the llamas. After the cannonball stunt of a few weeks ago, Miguel has finally recovered, the cast came off his leg last week and he's delighted - do you know how itchy llama legs get in plaster casts? Neither do I, but the poor little fella was going mad with the itching. Watch Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart, you'll get some idea of how Miguel felt. I mean, with regard to having an itchy leg up to the hip in plaster, not with regard to inadvertently witnessing a murder when all he wanted to do was have a sneaky perve over the ballerina in the flat opposite.
Join me on Monday, if you like. I don't know what news I'll have to report by then, but if I have any I promise you'll be the first to read about it!!!
My cheating days are over. I think that's what Kirsten Stewart said to Robert Pattinson (satire!).
I have to say, quite seriously now, that I love Slimming World. For a person of the large persuasion who genuinely loves their food in all its glorious different guises, I'm pretty sure it's the only way. Basically, the idea of it - for those who are lucky enough not to need to lose weight or those who have never heard of the plan before - is to fill up on foods with a lower density of calories (fruit, veg, rice, pasta, potatoes, lean meat etc) so that you basically don't really have a lot of room for foods with a high density of calories (chocolate, cakes, cheese, booze etc), but the diet is still flexible enough to allow some of those foods every day so (each food is appointed a 'Syn' value, and you're allowed between 10-15 'Syns' a day. Not 100% sure of the reason for the purposeful misspelling, but I'm a Monkees fan, so I'll let it slide), theoretically, you don't get put off and you can feasibly just eat that way forever. Which sounds perfectly logical.
Doesn't it sound just TOO easy?? Yes. Tell you what though - if you follow it, it works. Just over 3 1/2 stone later, I'm proof of that.
The reason I mention it is because I'm in that glorious mood of post-lunch. This lunchtime - and bearing in mind I am absolutely 100% hardcore on this diet right now - I managed to cheerfully plough my way through a jacket potato with baked beans, followed by a Vanilla/Chocolate sprinkles Mullerlight and half a canteloupe melon. This was on the back of a breakfast consisting of two boiled eggs, a handful of cherries, a banana and an orange. Stomach - full to capacity. Syns consumed - 0. Associated guilt regarding said full stomach - 0. And don't worry, there's an apple in my bag for later on this afternoon so I will have actually had my five a day!!
Beat that, Weight Watchers.
I have no idea how it works. But it does feel as though the more you eat, the more weight you lose. I'm totally up for that.
I won't be going to weigh-in tonight because there's stuff to do at Wainwright Towers that requires my constant presence. However, I've had a bit of a conflab with Andrea the Consultant and I'll be back next week, and - hopefully - get my 4 stone shiny sticker and matching certificate. I shall be working hard to get there. I just hope it pays off.
The llamas (I know how much you all love them) are fine. They've been taking it easy for the last few weeks, but they're back in training for next Friday's fiesta. I've promised them a fiesta and if I don't deliver on it I think Enrique will keel over with worry. That's right. I'm not losing weight for my health, my appearance or my obsession with filling my wardrobe with dresses - I'm doing it for the llamas. After the cannonball stunt of a few weeks ago, Miguel has finally recovered, the cast came off his leg last week and he's delighted - do you know how itchy llama legs get in plaster casts? Neither do I, but the poor little fella was going mad with the itching. Watch Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart, you'll get some idea of how Miguel felt. I mean, with regard to having an itchy leg up to the hip in plaster, not with regard to inadvertently witnessing a murder when all he wanted to do was have a sneaky perve over the ballerina in the flat opposite.
Join me on Monday, if you like. I don't know what news I'll have to report by then, but if I have any I promise you'll be the first to read about it!!!
Friday, 29 June 2012
Two Steps Behind
Thank you to Def Leppard for providing the title to today's blog post. It's in reference to the fact that at the moment I seem to be two steps behind the step forward I'd taken at last week's Fat Club.
I'm sending the llamas to Madrid for the weekend. It's the Euro 2012 final on Sunday and they're supporting Spain. They're all so excited it's been pandemonium round here, what with them flinging their sombreros in the air with jubilation, Enrique doing back flips all over the place, Ricardo getting busy making red and yellow leg warmers for the occasion and Miguel finally getting up from his sick bed to look for his passport. He's still only on three legs at the moment but the cast is due to come off next week, and he can start training again in a couple of weeks.
You know what that means, of course, and they're so busy celebrating the fact that they're going on holiday that they've failed to notice that there will be no fiesta this week. They only get upset when I don't lose weight, and have you ever seen an unhappy llama face? It'd melt a heart of lead, I'm telling you. Look:
Imagine twenty of those. I simply couldn't do it to them.
After a week of hard slog, self-deprivation, a will of cast iron and Synning like a Puritan in an attempt to lose half a goddam sodding pound - I somehow inexplicably managed to put ON half a pound!!
I was gutted. And really really narked. Those blooming scales haven't been on my side since Andrea the Consultant bought them!!
So, I felt the only thing to do under the circumstances was to come home, pour out a few large glasses of something interesting and have my first pizza of the year. Let's face it, if I put half a pound on by being majorly strict, I may as well eat yummy food and have a good time putting weight on!!
Of course, I'm back on it today. I do think having nights where you think "Soddit!" is an important part of the whole process. I'm not going to put 3 1/2 stone back on by eating half a pizza and a enjoying a couple of drinks while I'm watching the football once in six months. So long as it's just ONE night of forgetting about it out of seven or fourteen or thirty or however often you officially come to the end of your tether, rather than every night, it's not going to do you any harm and it does keep you going on the straight and narrow for a lot longer. Constantly saying 'no' to food and drink that you're dying to say 'yes' to just depresses you, especially when you feel like you're constantly saying 'no' and not seeing any results from it. Like me, at the moment.
Although I was genuinely buoyed when one of the ladies at Fat Club who hadn't been for the last couple of weeks turned to me and said, "Bloomin' 'eck, you haven't half gone skinny! You can really see it in your face! You're doing brilliant!" I mean, I was so pleased that I didn't even think about correcting her grammar!!
I know half a pound isn't the end of the world, but it's just so annoying. I honestly feel at the moment that I will never ever get there. Ever. So I'm not going to think about it for the next few days, it's just too depressing.
Besides, I've started reading again. You know the biggest tip writers get? READ. As much as you can. Just give it a whirl. Get reading. Open a book, sit down for an hour and let your eyes dance across the pages. Not literally. I have to say, when I was younger I was known to (my friend Emily will testify to this) read at least two books in one night. Of late, I've totally got out of the habit of reading. It's sheer laziness. I've had the best of intentions of reading and just never got round to actually doing it in ages and ages. Not properly. Not in that 'I am actually so into this book that I have utterly lost my grip on reality' manner that made me fall in love with books and reading and writing in the first place type fashion. Until yesterday when I started reading The Prisoner of Zenda. I have a feeling that even though I've only read the first three chapters, if anyone wants me for the next week or so, I'll be in Ruritania.
The reason I'm telling you this is because I think I've discovered the real cause of my writer's block. I vaguely realised it yesterday afternoon when I read a snippet of Suzie Tullet's current work in progress, and couldn't stop thinking about all the different directions the story could have come from and might go to. The realisation was cemented when I started reading Zenda. I haven't read anything - and so it naturally follows that I can't write anything.
I don't even know how this works. It's some sort of magic. I had worried for a while that writing after reading would be viewed by others as a type of plaigarism. This, however, is a stupid line of reasoning because - as everyone knows - there are only seven stories, therefore there are no original ideas, there are only variations on themes. But reading actually doesn't have the effect of making someone write a carbon copy of what they've read. It does more than that. It somehow manages to realign your brain into thinking creatively, so that you can form your own plots and subplots and tangents from what you're writing - no story ever really finishes because everyone can add to it or put their own spin on it. It brings characters and worlds to life and it shows you the way you need to construct sentences, paragraphs and dialogue in order to do it. They're How-To manuals for the Muse. It makes the Muse think 'hang on a minute, I can do better than that!' and then before you know it you've written something, most of the time completely different to the thing you've been reading. I simply haven't had anything to work from. That's my problem.
I really wish I'd made this glaringly obvious discovery a lot sooner. I might need to go off-grid while I get some heavy duty reading done over the next few weeks. I have ideas and hopefully this will help me to realise them.
So, all in all, the utter devastation I felt last night has somewhat dissipated (I think the pizza and brandy helped massively, in fairness) and I'm really rather looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully I'll get a lot of reading and some other rather important things done and when I report back on Monday I can tell you all about The Prisoner of Zenda and what happened to Rudolf Rassendyll at the coronation... I hope that Michael fella keeps out of it. Never trust a fictional character who has been played onscreen by James Mason - that's my advice!!
Whatever you're up to this weekend, have a lovely time, and thank you so much for sitting through this torturously long blog entry!!
I'm sending the llamas to Madrid for the weekend. It's the Euro 2012 final on Sunday and they're supporting Spain. They're all so excited it's been pandemonium round here, what with them flinging their sombreros in the air with jubilation, Enrique doing back flips all over the place, Ricardo getting busy making red and yellow leg warmers for the occasion and Miguel finally getting up from his sick bed to look for his passport. He's still only on three legs at the moment but the cast is due to come off next week, and he can start training again in a couple of weeks.
You know what that means, of course, and they're so busy celebrating the fact that they're going on holiday that they've failed to notice that there will be no fiesta this week. They only get upset when I don't lose weight, and have you ever seen an unhappy llama face? It'd melt a heart of lead, I'm telling you. Look:
Imagine twenty of those. I simply couldn't do it to them.
After a week of hard slog, self-deprivation, a will of cast iron and Synning like a Puritan in an attempt to lose half a goddam sodding pound - I somehow inexplicably managed to put ON half a pound!!
I was gutted. And really really narked. Those blooming scales haven't been on my side since Andrea the Consultant bought them!!
So, I felt the only thing to do under the circumstances was to come home, pour out a few large glasses of something interesting and have my first pizza of the year. Let's face it, if I put half a pound on by being majorly strict, I may as well eat yummy food and have a good time putting weight on!!
Of course, I'm back on it today. I do think having nights where you think "Soddit!" is an important part of the whole process. I'm not going to put 3 1/2 stone back on by eating half a pizza and a enjoying a couple of drinks while I'm watching the football once in six months. So long as it's just ONE night of forgetting about it out of seven or fourteen or thirty or however often you officially come to the end of your tether, rather than every night, it's not going to do you any harm and it does keep you going on the straight and narrow for a lot longer. Constantly saying 'no' to food and drink that you're dying to say 'yes' to just depresses you, especially when you feel like you're constantly saying 'no' and not seeing any results from it. Like me, at the moment.
Although I was genuinely buoyed when one of the ladies at Fat Club who hadn't been for the last couple of weeks turned to me and said, "Bloomin' 'eck, you haven't half gone skinny! You can really see it in your face! You're doing brilliant!" I mean, I was so pleased that I didn't even think about correcting her grammar!!
I know half a pound isn't the end of the world, but it's just so annoying. I honestly feel at the moment that I will never ever get there. Ever. So I'm not going to think about it for the next few days, it's just too depressing.
Besides, I've started reading again. You know the biggest tip writers get? READ. As much as you can. Just give it a whirl. Get reading. Open a book, sit down for an hour and let your eyes dance across the pages. Not literally. I have to say, when I was younger I was known to (my friend Emily will testify to this) read at least two books in one night. Of late, I've totally got out of the habit of reading. It's sheer laziness. I've had the best of intentions of reading and just never got round to actually doing it in ages and ages. Not properly. Not in that 'I am actually so into this book that I have utterly lost my grip on reality' manner that made me fall in love with books and reading and writing in the first place type fashion. Until yesterday when I started reading The Prisoner of Zenda. I have a feeling that even though I've only read the first three chapters, if anyone wants me for the next week or so, I'll be in Ruritania.
The reason I'm telling you this is because I think I've discovered the real cause of my writer's block. I vaguely realised it yesterday afternoon when I read a snippet of Suzie Tullet's current work in progress, and couldn't stop thinking about all the different directions the story could have come from and might go to. The realisation was cemented when I started reading Zenda. I haven't read anything - and so it naturally follows that I can't write anything.
I don't even know how this works. It's some sort of magic. I had worried for a while that writing after reading would be viewed by others as a type of plaigarism. This, however, is a stupid line of reasoning because - as everyone knows - there are only seven stories, therefore there are no original ideas, there are only variations on themes. But reading actually doesn't have the effect of making someone write a carbon copy of what they've read. It does more than that. It somehow manages to realign your brain into thinking creatively, so that you can form your own plots and subplots and tangents from what you're writing - no story ever really finishes because everyone can add to it or put their own spin on it. It brings characters and worlds to life and it shows you the way you need to construct sentences, paragraphs and dialogue in order to do it. They're How-To manuals for the Muse. It makes the Muse think 'hang on a minute, I can do better than that!' and then before you know it you've written something, most of the time completely different to the thing you've been reading. I simply haven't had anything to work from. That's my problem.
I really wish I'd made this glaringly obvious discovery a lot sooner. I might need to go off-grid while I get some heavy duty reading done over the next few weeks. I have ideas and hopefully this will help me to realise them.
So, all in all, the utter devastation I felt last night has somewhat dissipated (I think the pizza and brandy helped massively, in fairness) and I'm really rather looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully I'll get a lot of reading and some other rather important things done and when I report back on Monday I can tell you all about The Prisoner of Zenda and what happened to Rudolf Rassendyll at the coronation... I hope that Michael fella keeps out of it. Never trust a fictional character who has been played onscreen by James Mason - that's my advice!!
Whatever you're up to this weekend, have a lovely time, and thank you so much for sitting through this torturously long blog entry!!
Friday, 22 June 2012
And the Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down...
...And the river sucked up Pooh!!
Ah, Disney. You never cease to be hilarious.
It is truly El Pissi Downio out there today. I turned up at work looking like a drowned rat because I currently have no umbrella (a stupid thing for any native to this country, I know), as mine was attacked by the only element that no umbrella can stand - the heavy wind/driving rain combo. I wouldn't have minded but it was a huge umbrella, not one of those ones that snaps in half during a gentle breeze.
You don't want to know my umbrella woes. I'm getting terribly boring in my old age. Only yesterday I got a new computer in work and lamented about how difficult Office 2007 is to use compared to Office 2003 (any idiot who thinks getting rid of AutoText is a good idea has NEVER been a secretary!) while lauding the fabness of the i3 processor and being generally impressed with Windows 7.
I fell asleep twice while typing that sentence. That's how boring I've become.
You think I'm avoiding talking about Fat Club, don't you? Well, no, actually, not really.
As you all know, I was desperate to lose 1 1/2 lbs to get to my halfway 3 1/2 stone mark. I'd been very good indeed and hadn't drunk too much or eaten too much, although as I'd been rather poorly for the past few days I had been what can only be described as sedentary for the past week, so I wasn't too confident. As it turned out I managed to lose 1lb. Which is still good going and I know I can't lose 4lbs every week etc etc etc etc, but it was so annoying just to be half a pound out! That's neither here nor there!! 8oz, it's less than a packet of butter! Gahhh!!!
So, to stop myself being too annoyed at the 'so near yet so far'-ness of the situation, I've already decided in my head that I've hit it. Let's face it, if I'd got on the scales an hour earlier or later I probably would've weighed half a pound less. I've probably already lost half a pound this morning. My next target is to concentrate on hitting the 4 stone mark.
I think this is becoming the most sensible option on the weight-loss front (as I'm practically a veteran now). Rather than thinking "Gosh, I need to lose [insert number here] [ha!! I said 'insert'!!] [HAHA! And again!] stone, that's going to take forEVER!", just think "I can lose half a stone. Half a stone is do-able. Any eejit can lose half a stone!" and then when that's done, you can aim to lose another half stone, and then another and another. You're still aiming for that big goal at the end, but rather than feeling you have an impossible mountain to climb, you just feel you have a few gentle inclines to stroll. And who knows - I mean at the moment I'm pretty sure my target is 7 stone, but when I get there, what if I haven't lost quite enough and I have to move the goalposts back by a stone, or maybe even two? If I try telling myself I have to lose nine stone, I'll freak out, but all I ever have to lose is half a stone. I just have to do it quite a few times, that's all.
Come on, then, llamas - time to shimmy away those summertime blues, never mind the rain! Let the fiesta commence!!
*dances round room like a mad eejit*
My mum lost 1 1/2 lbs in her first week, she wasn't overly strict with keeping to the Syns limit either, so she's really pleased to have seen a result. She's determined to follow the diet to the letter and lose 4lbs next week - and I bet she'll do it too!!
This weekend my pal Zara and her son Dominic are coming to visit. I've not seen them in forever and it'll be lovely to catch up with them both. Whatever you're up to over the weekend, I hope you have a good'un - and I'll see you back here on Monday with a round-up of all the weekend's action!!
Ah, Disney. You never cease to be hilarious.
It is truly El Pissi Downio out there today. I turned up at work looking like a drowned rat because I currently have no umbrella (a stupid thing for any native to this country, I know), as mine was attacked by the only element that no umbrella can stand - the heavy wind/driving rain combo. I wouldn't have minded but it was a huge umbrella, not one of those ones that snaps in half during a gentle breeze.
You don't want to know my umbrella woes. I'm getting terribly boring in my old age. Only yesterday I got a new computer in work and lamented about how difficult Office 2007 is to use compared to Office 2003 (any idiot who thinks getting rid of AutoText is a good idea has NEVER been a secretary!) while lauding the fabness of the i3 processor and being generally impressed with Windows 7.
I fell asleep twice while typing that sentence. That's how boring I've become.
You think I'm avoiding talking about Fat Club, don't you? Well, no, actually, not really.
As you all know, I was desperate to lose 1 1/2 lbs to get to my halfway 3 1/2 stone mark. I'd been very good indeed and hadn't drunk too much or eaten too much, although as I'd been rather poorly for the past few days I had been what can only be described as sedentary for the past week, so I wasn't too confident. As it turned out I managed to lose 1lb. Which is still good going and I know I can't lose 4lbs every week etc etc etc etc, but it was so annoying just to be half a pound out! That's neither here nor there!! 8oz, it's less than a packet of butter! Gahhh!!!
So, to stop myself being too annoyed at the 'so near yet so far'-ness of the situation, I've already decided in my head that I've hit it. Let's face it, if I'd got on the scales an hour earlier or later I probably would've weighed half a pound less. I've probably already lost half a pound this morning. My next target is to concentrate on hitting the 4 stone mark.
I think this is becoming the most sensible option on the weight-loss front (as I'm practically a veteran now). Rather than thinking "Gosh, I need to lose [insert number here] [ha!! I said 'insert'!!] [HAHA! And again!] stone, that's going to take forEVER!", just think "I can lose half a stone. Half a stone is do-able. Any eejit can lose half a stone!" and then when that's done, you can aim to lose another half stone, and then another and another. You're still aiming for that big goal at the end, but rather than feeling you have an impossible mountain to climb, you just feel you have a few gentle inclines to stroll. And who knows - I mean at the moment I'm pretty sure my target is 7 stone, but when I get there, what if I haven't lost quite enough and I have to move the goalposts back by a stone, or maybe even two? If I try telling myself I have to lose nine stone, I'll freak out, but all I ever have to lose is half a stone. I just have to do it quite a few times, that's all.
Come on, then, llamas - time to shimmy away those summertime blues, never mind the rain! Let the fiesta commence!!
*dances round room like a mad eejit*
My mum lost 1 1/2 lbs in her first week, she wasn't overly strict with keeping to the Syns limit either, so she's really pleased to have seen a result. She's determined to follow the diet to the letter and lose 4lbs next week - and I bet she'll do it too!!
This weekend my pal Zara and her son Dominic are coming to visit. I've not seen them in forever and it'll be lovely to catch up with them both. Whatever you're up to over the weekend, I hope you have a good'un - and I'll see you back here on Monday with a round-up of all the weekend's action!!
Friday, 15 June 2012
Keep On Keeping On
There is a double celebration of fiesta-ing today in the Diary, and a good job too. The llamas have had three weeks off and Enrique has started panicking that if they have any more time off, their muscles will all seize up and they'll never be able to do those high-kicks again.
To mark the glorious occasion, they've decided on a very spectacular stunt. Miguel has bravely offered to be a llama cannonball!! Ricardo has designed a lovely red sparkly cape for the occasion. It'll be the finale sequence to the fiesta and I'm sure it'll be a breathtaking sight!
The first reason I'm celebrating is, after a week off and not really following the diet strictly at all - it turns out I've lost a whopping FOUR POUNDS!!! I'm now just 1 1/2 lbs off having lost 3 1/2 stone!! For those still keeping track, I've lost 47 1/2 lbs in 23 weeks. Which is still quite good going.
*AAARRRRIIIIBBAAAAAA!!!!!!*
The second reason for celebration is that I have actually managed to get tickets to see Michael Nesmith - after a very dramatic turn of events this morning. It nearly didn't happen at all - but eventually I got two seats. They're back row, I grant you, and when I had the possibilty of seats in the third row at first, it does sting somwhat, but there are only 12 rows in total, the venue only seats 460, and I think the hall is laid out in such a way that there's really no such thing as a bad seat. I mightn't get to see every whisker on his face but I'll certainly know it's the right fella.
WOOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit*
133 sleeps, apparently. According to my calculations, there were 136 but I'm reliably informed there are only 133. This is very exciting news. I just hope by then I'll be as close as possible to my target size. I've got four and a half months to lose three dress sizes. I think I can do it. I hope so. Even two would be great!!
Anyway, back to Slimming World. My mum joined last night!! This is great news. Partly because I get in next week free for introducing someone. I really hope she makes a good job of it. She only wants to lose the same amount I've already lost. And I've managed it so she can definitely do it. Hell's teeth, she's had five kids, losing a bit of weight isn't going to cause any problems!!! Apparently Andrea the Consultant kept telling mum (and the other newbies) to listen to what I told her because I'm doing so well. How embarrassing!!! I wish Mum hadn't told me, I'm not a fan of all this attention.
I'm so excited I really don't have the brain to type any more. Let's see The Llama Cannonball in action for the big finale to end this very exciting and hysterical blog!!
.............
.....................................
...................................................................................
*wince*
Ricardo, you really ought to check that you're not firing that thing off anywhere near a wall....
*sigh* We're a llama down, ladies and gentlemen, but don't worry, it isn't fatal - he just needs a good rest and he'll be right as rain soon.
Join me next week, when hopefully I'll have calmed down slightly, and I'll give you an update on Miguel's progress. Hooves crossed he's well on the mend by then!!
To mark the glorious occasion, they've decided on a very spectacular stunt. Miguel has bravely offered to be a llama cannonball!! Ricardo has designed a lovely red sparkly cape for the occasion. It'll be the finale sequence to the fiesta and I'm sure it'll be a breathtaking sight!
The first reason I'm celebrating is, after a week off and not really following the diet strictly at all - it turns out I've lost a whopping FOUR POUNDS!!! I'm now just 1 1/2 lbs off having lost 3 1/2 stone!! For those still keeping track, I've lost 47 1/2 lbs in 23 weeks. Which is still quite good going.
*AAARRRRIIIIBBAAAAAA!!!!!!*
The second reason for celebration is that I have actually managed to get tickets to see Michael Nesmith - after a very dramatic turn of events this morning. It nearly didn't happen at all - but eventually I got two seats. They're back row, I grant you, and when I had the possibilty of seats in the third row at first, it does sting somwhat, but there are only 12 rows in total, the venue only seats 460, and I think the hall is laid out in such a way that there's really no such thing as a bad seat. I mightn't get to see every whisker on his face but I'll certainly know it's the right fella.
WOOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*dances round like a mad eejit*
133 sleeps, apparently. According to my calculations, there were 136 but I'm reliably informed there are only 133. This is very exciting news. I just hope by then I'll be as close as possible to my target size. I've got four and a half months to lose three dress sizes. I think I can do it. I hope so. Even two would be great!!
Anyway, back to Slimming World. My mum joined last night!! This is great news. Partly because I get in next week free for introducing someone. I really hope she makes a good job of it. She only wants to lose the same amount I've already lost. And I've managed it so she can definitely do it. Hell's teeth, she's had five kids, losing a bit of weight isn't going to cause any problems!!! Apparently Andrea the Consultant kept telling mum (and the other newbies) to listen to what I told her because I'm doing so well. How embarrassing!!! I wish Mum hadn't told me, I'm not a fan of all this attention.
I'm so excited I really don't have the brain to type any more. Let's see The Llama Cannonball in action for the big finale to end this very exciting and hysterical blog!!
.............
.....................................
...................................................................................
*wince*
Ricardo, you really ought to check that you're not firing that thing off anywhere near a wall....
*sigh* We're a llama down, ladies and gentlemen, but don't worry, it isn't fatal - he just needs a good rest and he'll be right as rain soon.
Join me next week, when hopefully I'll have calmed down slightly, and I'll give you an update on Miguel's progress. Hooves crossed he's well on the mend by then!!
Friday, 1 June 2012
Land of Confusion
Ah, it's Friday! It means most of us in dear old Blighty will be looking forward to four whole days off work - with pay! However, it turns out I've got to work tomorrow, so I'll have three whole days off work, which is almost as good. And the weather has sorted itself out just in time for an epic bank holiday. Yes, that's right - gone are the sizzling tropical temperatures, the humid air, the old men traipsing round town just wearing a little pair of shorts and socks with sandals (why oh why?!) and the threat of a nice barbecue in the back garden. The air has regained the usual summertime nippiness we're used to, the skies are a sort of charcoal grey colour and the weather has been, as they call it in Spain (Joanna reliably tells me this, and she's very good at Spanish, so she should know) "El Pissi Downio". Ah, yes. British Summertime. It's back, and I love it.
So, things are going very well. I'd like to thank Anonymous for their lovely and very encouraging comment from Wednesday's blog. It turns out that my block lifted quite substantially after that lovely advice and some equally kind and helpful tips from Mr L. Although I've still not really got a plot together yet, I have indeed made a start on the Western (tentatively entitled The Western With No Name). Turns out it had no intention of ever being a book, it wanted to be a screenplay all along. Which in some ways is slightly easier, I'm much better with dialogue than narrative, but even though you only really need minimal narrative for a screenplay I still don't think I have enough. But I'll come back to it later when I've figured out more of a structure to the story. My biggest problem is that I want it to be instantly perfect, rather than just acknowledging that the first three or four rewrites are going to be ropey at best before I get it close to being right and writing it anyway. I bet Joss Whedon didn't write The Avengers perfectly on his first run-through!!
I know what you're thinking. 'She's avoiding the weight-loss topic'. Well, yes. I am.
I put half a pound on. I have no idea how. I was doing really well, I'd been dead good, I hadn't cheated (there's no point in cheating because the only person who suffers is me) - I was at least hoping for a couple of pounds' loss. Maybe even three. But putting half a pound on?! What the -?!?!!
Baffled. Stumped. Bamboozled. Flabbergasted. Discombobulated. Narked. All appropriate adjectives to describe my reaction to the number on the scales yesterday.
Enrique was quite relieved I'd put weight on. He's still convinced he has athlete's hoof from when I sent them swimming last Friday and has taken to his bed with bandages from hoof to fetlock on all four of his little legs. The rest of the llamas were delighted to have another week off and have all gone on a coach holiday to Blackpool for the weekend. If you're in the Blackpool area and come across a collective of llamas in gold lamee leg warmers, go and join them, they're a great bunch of lads!!
I mean, things aren't all bad news. I'm getting smaller. If I'm honest with myself about my original starting size (i.e. Beyond Huge. If there was a dress size that could be renamed "AY CHIHUAHA!!" that'd probably be where I was!), I've actually lost three dress sizes already and I'm probably only another stone away from hitting the fourth. So actually I've not done at all badly. It's just one of those things. Maybe it was just the way I held my gob when I stood on the scales. Who knows. I'm lots thinner than I was, and that's a fact. I just need to be... you know. Thinner than this. And I will be. This time in three months I might've lost another two sizes and then I'll be very nearly almost there.
You know what it'll involve, of course. I've been threatening it and then putting it off since January, but I am actually going to have to... I can't even bring myself to say it. You know, though. And I know. It's got to be done, there's truly nothing else for it. I have plans and extremely good intentions, I just have no willpower!! I hate running, walking round an industrial estate is no fun, and I'm just not disciplined enough to attempt any form of E***cise at home!! Gah!! That blasted E word. Why is it never fun?! If I could do the E word and not notice I was doing it, that'd be brilliant!
Ho hum.
Join me next Wednesday, if you don't mind. I'll be taking Monday off due to the Bank Holiday and I'll probably still be in a very dark state of depression following my birthday on Sunday. I get SO depressed on my birthday, there's literally no point in even acknowledging my existence, you'll only end up similarly suicidal! I don't want to be old! Don't make me!! Nooooo!!! PETER PAN NEVER HAD TO DO IT!!!
I dread to even think how I'll cope next year when I hit the big Three-Oh...!! *shudder*
So, things are going very well. I'd like to thank Anonymous for their lovely and very encouraging comment from Wednesday's blog. It turns out that my block lifted quite substantially after that lovely advice and some equally kind and helpful tips from Mr L. Although I've still not really got a plot together yet, I have indeed made a start on the Western (tentatively entitled The Western With No Name). Turns out it had no intention of ever being a book, it wanted to be a screenplay all along. Which in some ways is slightly easier, I'm much better with dialogue than narrative, but even though you only really need minimal narrative for a screenplay I still don't think I have enough. But I'll come back to it later when I've figured out more of a structure to the story. My biggest problem is that I want it to be instantly perfect, rather than just acknowledging that the first three or four rewrites are going to be ropey at best before I get it close to being right and writing it anyway. I bet Joss Whedon didn't write The Avengers perfectly on his first run-through!!
I know what you're thinking. 'She's avoiding the weight-loss topic'. Well, yes. I am.
I put half a pound on. I have no idea how. I was doing really well, I'd been dead good, I hadn't cheated (there's no point in cheating because the only person who suffers is me) - I was at least hoping for a couple of pounds' loss. Maybe even three. But putting half a pound on?! What the -?!?!!
Baffled. Stumped. Bamboozled. Flabbergasted. Discombobulated. Narked. All appropriate adjectives to describe my reaction to the number on the scales yesterday.
Enrique was quite relieved I'd put weight on. He's still convinced he has athlete's hoof from when I sent them swimming last Friday and has taken to his bed with bandages from hoof to fetlock on all four of his little legs. The rest of the llamas were delighted to have another week off and have all gone on a coach holiday to Blackpool for the weekend. If you're in the Blackpool area and come across a collective of llamas in gold lamee leg warmers, go and join them, they're a great bunch of lads!!
I mean, things aren't all bad news. I'm getting smaller. If I'm honest with myself about my original starting size (i.e. Beyond Huge. If there was a dress size that could be renamed "AY CHIHUAHA!!" that'd probably be where I was!), I've actually lost three dress sizes already and I'm probably only another stone away from hitting the fourth. So actually I've not done at all badly. It's just one of those things. Maybe it was just the way I held my gob when I stood on the scales. Who knows. I'm lots thinner than I was, and that's a fact. I just need to be... you know. Thinner than this. And I will be. This time in three months I might've lost another two sizes and then I'll be very nearly almost there.
You know what it'll involve, of course. I've been threatening it and then putting it off since January, but I am actually going to have to... I can't even bring myself to say it. You know, though. And I know. It's got to be done, there's truly nothing else for it. I have plans and extremely good intentions, I just have no willpower!! I hate running, walking round an industrial estate is no fun, and I'm just not disciplined enough to attempt any form of E***cise at home!! Gah!! That blasted E word. Why is it never fun?! If I could do the E word and not notice I was doing it, that'd be brilliant!
Ho hum.
Join me next Wednesday, if you don't mind. I'll be taking Monday off due to the Bank Holiday and I'll probably still be in a very dark state of depression following my birthday on Sunday. I get SO depressed on my birthday, there's literally no point in even acknowledging my existence, you'll only end up similarly suicidal! I don't want to be old! Don't make me!! Nooooo!!! PETER PAN NEVER HAD TO DO IT!!!
I dread to even think how I'll cope next year when I hit the big Three-Oh...!! *shudder*
Monday, 28 May 2012
We're Havin' A Heatwave...
...a tropical heatwaaaave... the temperature's risin', it isn't surprisin', I certainly caaaannn...
Ahem.
Sorry. But this weather's making everything seem a bit weird. Good GRIEF it's warm. I mean, 28 degrees Celsius before noon is just ridiculous. And no, I have no idea what that is in Farenheit!!
I'm sorry for my lack of postings. It's been one of those weeks. It's been too hot for anything and my brain really doesn't function too well in hot weather. I am, after all, English. I'm not used to May being hot. It isn't meant to get hot until mid-June for about five days, then constant rain until mid-July, then miserable but hot weather with no air for three or four weeks, then more rain... then a sort of picking up again in September, before a rather nippy Autumn and a bloomin' freezing winter. This is how Britain works, weather! Get it right!!
So, anyway, weather aside, I got a little closer to my halfway mark this week by losing 2lbs. This was a lovely result and I was really pleased with it, but due to the weather it would've simply been cruel of me to ask the llamas to put on a fiesta in celebration. So I sent them to the local swimming pool armed with armbands, goggles and matching towels for a bit of a frolic and a cool down. Enrique convinced himself that he came back home with verrucas and athletes hoof, but after a (very brief) examination his hooves all seem fine. Ricardo made friends with the lifeguard on duty who had never heard of a dancing troupe of llamas before. Miguel discovered aqua-aerobics. Everyone had a lovely time. I stayed in (I can't swim and nobody will ever see me in a swimming costume, ever, not even when I get to a size 14! Just because I'm not fat still doesn't mean anyone wants to see any more of me than is absolutely necessary and unavoidable!) and had a celebratory brandy or two. It might've even ben three. Yes, I think it was. So, everyone really was happy!
I probably won't hit my halfway target by this Thursday, but that's no big deal really. It's officially too hot to care about stuff like that! I should get closer to it, though, and that's the main thing.
I wore a dress on Sunday. I admit it probably wasn't the most fashionable thing out there, but the main thing was it wasn't that godawful black maxi dress I'd worn for months when I had need to wear a dress. It was my mum's, and before you start rolling your eyes, I'd coveted it for quite some time, it's really nice. I tell you a really weird thing that I may never get used to. I actually felt really feminine. I mean I know I'm a girl (the bosoms are quite a giveaway), but being of the larger persuasion the only clothes really available to a person are ones that just cover you and make you look as unobtrusive as possible. In short, clothes have never made me feel anything other than a sexless blob of nothingness. But on Sunday I looked in the mirror and even though I probably still looked a fat scruffbag, I actually felt like a woman for the first time actually ever. With curves, as opposed to being one continual curve. It's a really peculiar feeling, but I liked it. Probably one I'll never get used to, but it's really helped me to feel even more focussed than ever about getting to the goal. It's totally going to happen. This time next year during an unprecedented heatwave I might even have summer clothes in my wardrobe to go to!! Who knows!!!
Join me again on... well, I'd say Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday, but certainly later on in the week. Dunno what I'll talk about but I'll always find SOMEthing to ramble about!!
Ahem.
Sorry. But this weather's making everything seem a bit weird. Good GRIEF it's warm. I mean, 28 degrees Celsius before noon is just ridiculous. And no, I have no idea what that is in Farenheit!!
I'm sorry for my lack of postings. It's been one of those weeks. It's been too hot for anything and my brain really doesn't function too well in hot weather. I am, after all, English. I'm not used to May being hot. It isn't meant to get hot until mid-June for about five days, then constant rain until mid-July, then miserable but hot weather with no air for three or four weeks, then more rain... then a sort of picking up again in September, before a rather nippy Autumn and a bloomin' freezing winter. This is how Britain works, weather! Get it right!!
So, anyway, weather aside, I got a little closer to my halfway mark this week by losing 2lbs. This was a lovely result and I was really pleased with it, but due to the weather it would've simply been cruel of me to ask the llamas to put on a fiesta in celebration. So I sent them to the local swimming pool armed with armbands, goggles and matching towels for a bit of a frolic and a cool down. Enrique convinced himself that he came back home with verrucas and athletes hoof, but after a (very brief) examination his hooves all seem fine. Ricardo made friends with the lifeguard on duty who had never heard of a dancing troupe of llamas before. Miguel discovered aqua-aerobics. Everyone had a lovely time. I stayed in (I can't swim and nobody will ever see me in a swimming costume, ever, not even when I get to a size 14! Just because I'm not fat still doesn't mean anyone wants to see any more of me than is absolutely necessary and unavoidable!) and had a celebratory brandy or two. It might've even ben three. Yes, I think it was. So, everyone really was happy!
I probably won't hit my halfway target by this Thursday, but that's no big deal really. It's officially too hot to care about stuff like that! I should get closer to it, though, and that's the main thing.
I wore a dress on Sunday. I admit it probably wasn't the most fashionable thing out there, but the main thing was it wasn't that godawful black maxi dress I'd worn for months when I had need to wear a dress. It was my mum's, and before you start rolling your eyes, I'd coveted it for quite some time, it's really nice. I tell you a really weird thing that I may never get used to. I actually felt really feminine. I mean I know I'm a girl (the bosoms are quite a giveaway), but being of the larger persuasion the only clothes really available to a person are ones that just cover you and make you look as unobtrusive as possible. In short, clothes have never made me feel anything other than a sexless blob of nothingness. But on Sunday I looked in the mirror and even though I probably still looked a fat scruffbag, I actually felt like a woman for the first time actually ever. With curves, as opposed to being one continual curve. It's a really peculiar feeling, but I liked it. Probably one I'll never get used to, but it's really helped me to feel even more focussed than ever about getting to the goal. It's totally going to happen. This time next year during an unprecedented heatwave I might even have summer clothes in my wardrobe to go to!! Who knows!!!
Join me again on... well, I'd say Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday, but certainly later on in the week. Dunno what I'll talk about but I'll always find SOMEthing to ramble about!!
Friday, 18 May 2012
Wham, Bam, Thank You, Scales!
All right, all right, I've calmed down, I've stopped whooping and cartwheeling around the living room long enough to write my Friday blog.
That's right. I have good news. Great news. That 3 1/2 lbs that was doing my head in? GONE!! BAM!!! 3 stone (that's 42lbs to my American readers and 19kgs to my...er... metric readers) in 19 weeks, that's quite good going, isn't it?
In celebration, Enrique has put together The Three Stone Fiesta. Floats, bunting, ticker-tape, sombreros, maracas, even the odd castanet. In the words of the late, great Eddie Cochrane - WOOOOO!!!! C'MON EV'RYBODYYY!!!!!!
Whoo!! Enrique, you've surpassed yourself this time, little fella!!! What a celebration!!
Right. So. This is it. 3 stone down, 4 to go. There's a very small possibility that I might still get to the halfway mark by my birthday, I've lost 7lbs in two weeks a few times so I know I can do it. I just need to try extra hard and maybe try other things like finally incorporating a bit more exercise into my daily regime and drinking water... I seem to have developed quite an addiction to Coke Zero/Pepsi Max/whatever's on offer in Morrisons at the time of purchase. No, really. Well, I've almost totally given up booze and chocolate, I haven't had pizza or crisps all year and frankly there's little left in life that's classed as being 'a bit naughty' that I can get away with having these days!!
Gah! Skinny, old and boring. Three things I thought I'd never be!
I'm so chuffed. I worked so hard to get these last few pounds boxed off, and I've done it. I've still got a really really long way to go, but it feels far more achievable now. I will get there. There's a story on the Slimming World website and in this month's Slimming World magazine about a fella about a year older than me who's lost 17 1/2 stone (245 lbs/111.13kg) in just over two years. He looks like a completely different person. I mean, blimey. I know 7 stone is a lot and roughly the size of a skinny full grown adult, but 17 1/2 stone - that's some people's starting weight when they join Slimming World!! That must've seemed like an impossible mountain to climb - and now he goes out climbing real mountains for fun!! It's incredible how much a silly thing like losing weight will change your life completely. I mean I know I've still got a huge way to go but I really feel as though this time I'll do it and that my life will change. I'll start doing things I've never done, I'll stop being afraid of trying anything new and I'll actually start walking down the road with my head up rather than hunched up, worrying about tripping over my own feet or being laughed at and heckled by vile people who felt the need to point my weight problem out to me in case I hadn't already noticed it. Seriously. It'll be all change. I just hope I'm ready for it...!!
Join me again on Monday when I'll probably not have much to report from the weekend, but I'll be looking towards a lovely family reunion under very sad circumstances and trying to stay strong in the hopes of getting closer to the 3 1/2 stone mark next Thursday night!! Have a lovely weekend, whatever you'e up to!
That's right. I have good news. Great news. That 3 1/2 lbs that was doing my head in? GONE!! BAM!!! 3 stone (that's 42lbs to my American readers and 19kgs to my...er... metric readers) in 19 weeks, that's quite good going, isn't it?
In celebration, Enrique has put together The Three Stone Fiesta. Floats, bunting, ticker-tape, sombreros, maracas, even the odd castanet. In the words of the late, great Eddie Cochrane - WOOOOO!!!! C'MON EV'RYBODYYY!!!!!!
Whoo!! Enrique, you've surpassed yourself this time, little fella!!! What a celebration!!
Right. So. This is it. 3 stone down, 4 to go. There's a very small possibility that I might still get to the halfway mark by my birthday, I've lost 7lbs in two weeks a few times so I know I can do it. I just need to try extra hard and maybe try other things like finally incorporating a bit more exercise into my daily regime and drinking water... I seem to have developed quite an addiction to Coke Zero/Pepsi Max/whatever's on offer in Morrisons at the time of purchase. No, really. Well, I've almost totally given up booze and chocolate, I haven't had pizza or crisps all year and frankly there's little left in life that's classed as being 'a bit naughty' that I can get away with having these days!!
Gah! Skinny, old and boring. Three things I thought I'd never be!
I'm so chuffed. I worked so hard to get these last few pounds boxed off, and I've done it. I've still got a really really long way to go, but it feels far more achievable now. I will get there. There's a story on the Slimming World website and in this month's Slimming World magazine about a fella about a year older than me who's lost 17 1/2 stone (245 lbs/111.13kg) in just over two years. He looks like a completely different person. I mean, blimey. I know 7 stone is a lot and roughly the size of a skinny full grown adult, but 17 1/2 stone - that's some people's starting weight when they join Slimming World!! That must've seemed like an impossible mountain to climb - and now he goes out climbing real mountains for fun!! It's incredible how much a silly thing like losing weight will change your life completely. I mean I know I've still got a huge way to go but I really feel as though this time I'll do it and that my life will change. I'll start doing things I've never done, I'll stop being afraid of trying anything new and I'll actually start walking down the road with my head up rather than hunched up, worrying about tripping over my own feet or being laughed at and heckled by vile people who felt the need to point my weight problem out to me in case I hadn't already noticed it. Seriously. It'll be all change. I just hope I'm ready for it...!!
Join me again on Monday when I'll probably not have much to report from the weekend, but I'll be looking towards a lovely family reunion under very sad circumstances and trying to stay strong in the hopes of getting closer to the 3 1/2 stone mark next Thursday night!! Have a lovely weekend, whatever you'e up to!
Friday, 4 May 2012
Dazed and Confused
I knew I'd end up a confused mess last night. I knew it.
The llamas came home, Enrique set about making sure everyone else was unpacked and after they'd all had a long hot soak in a bubble bath I helped Miguel tie his new neckerchief and put on his new sunglasses. He's a fashion conscious llama but his lack of opposable thumbs does cause him a few problems in the execution of donning and fixing certain items of clothing.
I left them tucking into a lovely tea and told Ricardo I'd give them a call on the Llama Line when I'd been weighed.
I went in, was told by the lady on the front desk that everyone seems a lot happier this week and that the scales seem to have righted themselves. So I paid my fiver, toddled off to the weigh-in point and hopped on the scales.
Normally, I would have been delighted and doing a little jig of ecstasy over the fact the scales said I was 3 1/2 lbs lighter... but I was just confused.
I mean... What does that even mean?!!? Does it mean I've lost 3 1/2 lbs? Does it mean that I've lost 1/2 lb?? Does it mean that I've basically just maintained weight for two weeks and everything's back to normal? I mean... seriously - what happened?!?!
Llamas are a very intelligent bunch but, they're also very inquisitive - so if I'd explained the whole saga of the scales to them, they'd've asked me some very complicated mathematical questions that I couldn't answer. I decided, for the sake of brevity, to just tell them that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs, and so Enrique, invigorated by his week in the sun and hour-long soak in a mint and jasmine bubble bath, quickly got to work on choreographing the llamas' latest dance routine.
Hit it, fellas!! *whips out maracas and dons Carmen Miranda style hat before shimmying around like a loony*
Whewf!!! I've really got to stop moving like that, it plays havoc with my pineapples...
So... I think I've lost weight. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly. I really don't know. I mean, according to those scales I'm 3 1/2 lbs lighter than I was this time last week. So that should make me very happy. But then I know I hadn't put 3lbs on last week. But maybe I had, I mean a person's body does crazy things at crazy times, maybe it was an unwittingly held-in tinkle or something. But then what if it wasn't and these new scales are just dodgy?
I really don't know what to think. It's a mystery to the likes of me.
Still, maybe these new ones are more accurate. After all, I'm definitely starting to see some changes in me, my shoulders are pretty skinny now and I've even noticed my legs are getting a bit slimmer at long last. I'd spent a few weeks not seeing any change at all and worrying that losing 7 stone wasn't going to be enough and I'd almost decided to put my target back by another stone, but I don't think I need to do that now. I've got 10lbs to lose before I get to the half-way mark, and I suppose it'll be easier to judge from then, but I don't think I'll need to lose more than 7 stone. Hope not anyway, the first three are turning into an epic melodrama!!
It's my birthday in a month's time (well, a month yesterday, to be precise) and I'm hoping to have lost the requisite 10lbs to get myself to the half-way mark by then. If I lose more then great, but because it's pretty much slap-bang in the middle of the year I think it's as good a target date to set as any. It might take the edge off the inevitable depression associated with entering into the last year of my 20s. This is it. Goodbye, youth! But at least I'll be old and skinny... Not too skinny though. Fat plumps out the wrinkles. Fact.
Join me again next week sometime when I'll hopefully have some news of something. You may think I'm sounding coy and mysterious but to be honest there's really nothing else doing in SpevLand at the moment, I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen so I can report back on it!!!
The llamas came home, Enrique set about making sure everyone else was unpacked and after they'd all had a long hot soak in a bubble bath I helped Miguel tie his new neckerchief and put on his new sunglasses. He's a fashion conscious llama but his lack of opposable thumbs does cause him a few problems in the execution of donning and fixing certain items of clothing.
I left them tucking into a lovely tea and told Ricardo I'd give them a call on the Llama Line when I'd been weighed.
I went in, was told by the lady on the front desk that everyone seems a lot happier this week and that the scales seem to have righted themselves. So I paid my fiver, toddled off to the weigh-in point and hopped on the scales.
Normally, I would have been delighted and doing a little jig of ecstasy over the fact the scales said I was 3 1/2 lbs lighter... but I was just confused.
I mean... What does that even mean?!!? Does it mean I've lost 3 1/2 lbs? Does it mean that I've lost 1/2 lb?? Does it mean that I've basically just maintained weight for two weeks and everything's back to normal? I mean... seriously - what happened?!?!
Llamas are a very intelligent bunch but, they're also very inquisitive - so if I'd explained the whole saga of the scales to them, they'd've asked me some very complicated mathematical questions that I couldn't answer. I decided, for the sake of brevity, to just tell them that I'd lost 3 1/2 lbs, and so Enrique, invigorated by his week in the sun and hour-long soak in a mint and jasmine bubble bath, quickly got to work on choreographing the llamas' latest dance routine.
Hit it, fellas!! *whips out maracas and dons Carmen Miranda style hat before shimmying around like a loony*
Whewf!!! I've really got to stop moving like that, it plays havoc with my pineapples...
So... I think I've lost weight. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly. I really don't know. I mean, according to those scales I'm 3 1/2 lbs lighter than I was this time last week. So that should make me very happy. But then I know I hadn't put 3lbs on last week. But maybe I had, I mean a person's body does crazy things at crazy times, maybe it was an unwittingly held-in tinkle or something. But then what if it wasn't and these new scales are just dodgy?
I really don't know what to think. It's a mystery to the likes of me.
Still, maybe these new ones are more accurate. After all, I'm definitely starting to see some changes in me, my shoulders are pretty skinny now and I've even noticed my legs are getting a bit slimmer at long last. I'd spent a few weeks not seeing any change at all and worrying that losing 7 stone wasn't going to be enough and I'd almost decided to put my target back by another stone, but I don't think I need to do that now. I've got 10lbs to lose before I get to the half-way mark, and I suppose it'll be easier to judge from then, but I don't think I'll need to lose more than 7 stone. Hope not anyway, the first three are turning into an epic melodrama!!
It's my birthday in a month's time (well, a month yesterday, to be precise) and I'm hoping to have lost the requisite 10lbs to get myself to the half-way mark by then. If I lose more then great, but because it's pretty much slap-bang in the middle of the year I think it's as good a target date to set as any. It might take the edge off the inevitable depression associated with entering into the last year of my 20s. This is it. Goodbye, youth! But at least I'll be old and skinny... Not too skinny though. Fat plumps out the wrinkles. Fact.
Join me again next week sometime when I'll hopefully have some news of something. You may think I'm sounding coy and mysterious but to be honest there's really nothing else doing in SpevLand at the moment, I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen so I can report back on it!!!
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