Nessun Dorma

(blog post title courtesy of my lovely big sister, Joanna)

Today I have to stay awake for 24 hours.  I have an appointment at the Walton Centre in Liverpool tomorrow for a sleep-deprived EEG (for those of you unfamiliar with the procedure, it's a test to record the electrical impulses in the brain), for reasons unknown to me.  I had a non-sleep-deprived EEG a few weeks ago which came back normal and I had a CT scan of my brain which also came back normal, so why they need another test is beyond me.  

Still, at least now I can officially say, in the style of the well-known genius, Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper - "I'm not crazy - my mother had me tested!"  Or at least there's definitely nothing physiologically wrong with my brain - and contrary to the scurrilous rumours, I do actually have a brain rolling around in the vast expanse of my cranium.  Which is useful.

Despite the fact I suffer rather frequently with bouts of insomnia, I am finding today something of a struggle.  All I've wanted to do since 8a.m. has been to have a nap.  I think it's mostly a sort of psychological thing (that and the fact that I've barely slept for the past two weeks due to aforementioned insomnia).  I know I'm not allowed to sleep so I'm desperate to sleep.  Still.  I have a few films I'm planning on watching tonight, and I've bought some nice coffee that I'm saving for later so I can feel like I'm being dead naughty having caffeine at midnight.  Not really got anything for a midnight feast, but at least I can bask in the joy of knowing that later this year I will be skinnier.  

At a slight tangent:  Is it wrong that my main ambition is to order a gigantic pizza at midnight and sit eating it in my size 12/14 pyjamas while feeling absolutely no trace of guilt whatsoever?  I've never even done that at the size I'm at now, I don't know why I want to do it when I'm skinny!  Everyone else might be in this weight loss thing for the health benefits.  I just want to be thin enough to eat crap and not beat myself up over it!!

Speaking of weight loss, I have discovered something absolutely amazing about the fact I'm having a second go at it.  If you go back to my earlier blog entries, say from January probably through to about March 2012, I really struggled at the beginning to figure out how to function on a healthy eating regime, and how not to panic if I get hungry, or wonder what the hell I can eat when there's only stuff for a sandwich in the house, or all those horrible niggly "can't I just give in and eat my body weight in fry-ups?!?" type dilemmas.  This time, I've settled back into the routine pretty much straight away.  I've got my dieting head back on and if anything it's more of a relief than a constant series of mind-battles, knowing exactly what I need to do to get myself back on track.  It feels far less of a diet and far more of a "right, this is just what I'm doing from now on" type lifestyle change.  And to be honest, although the changes I've had to make have been pretty drastic, they've really not been anywhere near the kind of struggle they were when I went through this the first time.  So I'm feeling really encouraged by that.  I'm not sure if I've actually lost any weight yet, I won't get weighed until Wednesday morning, but I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to be doing, so hopefully the results will follow.  I feel a lot more chilled about the whole thing, which can only be a good thing when it comes to actually keeping going on this whole weight-loss regime.

In other news, I have got my Llama-Keeping Licence back and the boys are due home tomorrow.  I can't wait to see them, it's been ages and I'm sure we've all got lots of catching up to do.  I have some tequila on hand for them - Ricardo says it helps him remember his stories better.  They're going to work through the inevitable jet lag to prepare for Wednesday's fiesta just in case I lose weight this week - and they've even incorporated a few moves into their dance routine that I can join in with, which will be very exciting!

Remind me to pick up some red sparkle leg-warmers on my way home from the hospital tomorrow...

Dressin' Fine, Makin' Time

I would like to apologise for my complete failure on the blogging front recently.  Work's been mental and I haven't had time to write.  Sorry.

Thursday went well.  I lost 2 1/2 lbs.  I now have 2 1/2 lbs to lose before I get my 4 stone award.  I'd LOVE it if it was this week.  I'm giving it my best shot this week.  I've been determined, I'm still on the wagon (Day 16.  Blood is now coursing through my alcohol stream.  I'm starting to see things as they really are.  'Floor!'  'Curtains!' 'Gobshite!'  Erm.  Sorry.  Just went all Father Ted there for a minute!), I've kept to well under 10 Syns a day, except for Saturday when I went half a Syn over, but I'm not worried about that really.  I've walked a lot.  I haven't  been quite as stressed out this week as I have been during the last two weeks about losing weight.  I don't feel any different or any thinner.  I know I couldn't possibly have put weight on with the things I've been eating, but hey - who knows how the human body works?  Certainly not me.  It'th a mythtery, as Toyah Wilcox might say.  For the benefit of my readers under the age of 35 and who therefore don't know who Toyah Wilcox is - ask your mum.  She'll always be Monkey to me.  Toyah, that is.  Not your mum.  I feel as though I'm unwittingly starting to stray into unintentional 'your mum' jokes territory.  I'm going to end this aside right now before I get into trouble!

I'm really sorry you missed the fiesta.  It was a special fiesta as well, in honour of the synchronised swimming.  Ricardo has become obsessed with it.  He designed a load of inflatable leg warmers for the llamas and they did a fabulous routine.  If I get my 4 stone shiny sticker this week I'll get them to re-create the whole thing for you.

I should point out at this juncture that I will probably be off-grid for the next ten days or so.  I'll update as much as I can, obviously, but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I shall be at the annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Liverpool.  In the North West for the last 14 years or so it's been held at the Manchester Arena and it's a big, scary place, so my family and I have escaped to somewhere far more exotic for the Convention over the last few years.  Stoke-on-Trent.  Anyway, this year it's in Liverpool, and as my entire family are from the glorious city, we're very excited about the prospect. 

I have new dresses.  I had a disastrous afternoon's shopping on Saturday.  Not that the company was disastrous, you understand - it was fabulous. After all, I was with my pal, Heather.  I know.  Two Heathers, no messing.  She's awesome and I love her to distraction.  So, I had a grand old time as always with her, it was just the dresses were the problem.  They were either too short or too low (and although I'm skinny now, I still have massive knockers to deal with) - and often both at the same time.  Although at least they all fitted me.  It's nice to know that I can walk into a shop, pick up a dress in a particular size and know that it will fit me.  I don't think I've ever done that before.  It's all progress.  I found a new dress yesterday, which is very pretty and fits me, so I'm nearly replete with dresses in my wardrobe, which is all very exciting.  Eventually, I will post my 'before' and 'half way through' photos.  I just need to retrieve the 'before' photo that my Auntie Heather took of me in January!

After the Convention, I'm moving out of home for a week or so.  Long story.  I'm sleeping at my pal's house for a few nights and then staying with another pal for a few nights.  I should still be able to update the blog while I'm away because I'll still be working, but if not, you'll know why.  My life should hopefully return to normal - well, as normal as my life ever gets, anyway - on or around 23 August, which coincides with the Global Public Holiday I've been campaigning for for the last who knows how long - International Keith Moon Day.  Everything is wonderful on that day, it's by far my favourite day on the calendar.  So it's only fitting, really, that everything sorts itself out by then.

I shall try to update on Wednesday or Thursday but I won't be able to update on my results from Fat Club until at least Monday next week.  Sorry about that, chaps.  Wish me luck though.  I have a feeling that this week I'm seriously going to need it!!

I Don't Like Mondays

Phewf.  I am no longer grey.  On Friday, much in the style of Amy Winehouse, I went back to black.  Not quite in the style, obviously, but when I invest in some industrial strength hairspray I might consider it.  Anyway.  Apparently my hair is now lovely, sleek and shiny - just like a retriever.  Thanks, Auntie Heath.

Also on Friday night, I made the somewhat foolish decision to watch the live action Thunderbirds film.  Insomnia will make you do some quite peculiar things.  I did watch it once, back in the day, on a dodgy copy that my brother got - but I talked to my nephew the whole way through it so I don't really remember it.  I should have taken note of the alarm bells that rang when there was no mention of the film being based on the work of Gerry Anderson in the opening titles.  It should have been left as a hazy, foggy memory.

I had to pause and rewind several times to try and figure out who was who.  It was about as far removed from Thunderbirds as it was possible to get.  Brains had a 12 year old son - the writers decided to replace Grandma with a mother for Tin-Tin (I think that's who she was, anyway!) - Jeff Tracy went on rescues - Gordon Tracy went into space...  What the actual chuff??!?!!  Someone needs to make a proper Thunderbirds film.  In its defence, Sophia Myles and Ron Cook were spot on as Lady Penelope and Parker.  And the brat who played Alan was so annoying I spent most of the film hoping something terrible would happen to him.  So.  I mean - it could've been worse. Sort of.  No.  Wait.  Vanessa Hudgens was in it.  It definitely couldn't have been worse.

Rather than curing my insomnia, it just made me really annoyed and I spent the rest of the night having imaginary arguments with the idiots who made it.  So, the lesson is - never watch anything remotely controvesial when you're trying to induce a sleepy feeling.

I still think that weekends are probably the least convenient time to attempt to stick to a diet with any degree of success.  This is nothing to do with overeating at the weekend, but more the practicalities of taking time out to eat at all.  I inadvertently skipped lunch altogether on Saturday, and even then only had a couple of pieces of fruit for breakfast.  I had a similar problem yesterday as well.  I don't know why eating is a more complicated event at weekends than it is during the week.  Surely mealtimes are the signposts by which one structures their day, rather than things to fit in around other stuff that might be going on around them.

I did do a lot of walking on Saturday, though.  I went on an adventure to Liverpool with Helena and her dad, The Great Donaldo.  He ditched us at a coffee bar on Albert Dock under the pretence that he was doing us a favour but really we think that he didn't want us to cramp his style while he wandered around the Maritime Museum (probably busting a few hornpipe moves every now and then for maximum effect).  We went to the new Liverpool Museum.  It's really good.  If you get chance to go - do it.  It's really interactive and full of fascinating stuff.  We must've been there a good two hours and didn't really see everything.  Our best bit was the poetry corner where you used all these different word magnets to make up sentences and/or poems.  Helena's best sentence was "Can my armpits think?"  We made up a couple of rude ones about gerbils and hamsters too, but that's another story.  All in all, a fabulous time was had, by me, definitely, but hopefully by all!!  Finally got myself a new calendar as well, it's been a while since I had a Beatles calendar and it's nice to wake up to the Fab Four on the back of your door.  It's definitely an improvement to waking up to the sight of Adam West and Burt Ward looking down at you...!!

So.  It's Monday again and it's back to the grindstone.  I have no plans and no ideas as to what will happen during the week.  I just hope that by the time Thursday comes I will have lost the pound and a half that I put on last week.  Hopefully more but at the very least I want to have lost that!!  There are only three more weigh-ins until I go to see Olly Murs with Jo, and I at least want to be a little bit smaller than I was last time I went to the MEN in December.

Well.  That was my weekend.  Hope yours was equally fab, even if it wasn't F.A.B.!!  Join me again later this week when I'll let you know if my Skip-It has arrived and if I've still got the knack for it!!