I know it's been ages, but I've really had very little indeed to report on the weight loss front.
Although...
On July 5th (exactly 6 months after I first stepped on the scales) I managed to hit my half-way target of 3 1/2 stones. In fact I got just over my half way point, and all I needed was to lose another 5lbs in 5 weeks in order to hit my 4 stone mark. Then the boredom set in. And when it set, it stuck good and proper.
I don't know why, when I'd worked so hard over the last six months, I suddenly decided it would be a fabulous idea to go completely off the rails because I couldn't be bothered keeping on the straight and narrow. Yes, because getting halfway there totally means you're allowed to give yourself a week or two off, just because you 'can't be bothered'!!
No, actually, I shouldn't be allowed to give myself two weeks off 'just because' yet. I've not done anything yet. Halfway does not count. I've been here before. I've been halfway, and I've always fallen into this trap and the weight has piled straight back on and I'm back to where I was before I know it. I haven't done anything to congratulate myself for yet. I'm not taking away from the fact that it's been a long hard slog to get this far. And I know that losing over 3 1/2 stones in six months is an achievement, and I'm not really detracting from that. But it isn't the target. It isn't where I want to be.
You don't see people training for marathons giving themselves a few weeks off from training after they finally manage to run for thirteen miles solid, do you? Exactly. I haven't made it yet, I've got no reason to start messing around and giving myself lame excuses to fall off the wagon. So what if I've had a tough day at work? That doesn't instantly mean that I have to have a few large glasses of something interesting. It's not going to make my tough day any less tough. It's just a bunch of extra Syns that I don't actually need and that will only serve to make me feel guilty for a lapse in motivation.
Perhaps, and the thought did occur to me earlier last week, I've really never known myself this size. It feels weird. I look in the mirror now and I only see two chins, rather than 50. I saw my collar bone when I looked in the mirror the other week. It was just, y'know, there. I genuinely panicked for a few moments and thought there was a tumour growing below my neck, until I realised what it was!! My shoulders have gone skinny. My cheekbones are huge. I don't look like me any more.
Being smaller than I already am, although I want it desperately, will seem so weird. Being 'big' is very much an intrinsic part of how I see myself and what I think I am. If I haven't got that instant, bizarrely comforting, self-deprecating joke of me being fat to hide behind, then I'm not really sure what I have got. Perhaps my firm thwack on the 'self-destruct' button last week was because I'm actually really scared of the physical aspects of being smaller. I already hate the attention. And no, no I haven't had any attention from blokes, they still have no idea I exist - but getting told, "Wow, you look great!" and "Oh my god, look at you!!" or "I can't believe how amazing/stunning/beautiful/fabulous you look!" (and seriously - words like 'stunning' and 'beautiful' should never be associated with me) and all that sort of thing... don't get me wrong, it's lovely, I really appreciate how supportive everyone is - and it's a lot nicer than "Holy hell, look at that fat bitch!" which I haven't actually heard for a while now. But to be truthful, I don't feel like I deserve it and it really makes me uncomfortable. I don't really want to be looked at. I thought that's what being smaller would help me achieve - a nice little degree of invisibility.
Still. That's still no reason to go completely off track. I've got things to do. I've got clothes to fit into. I've got a Michael Nesmith gig to go to at the end of October!! So I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to stop being scared and I'm going to get the hell on with it.
In the wise words of Tony DiNozzo from NCIS - "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." In the equally wise words of Stanley Holloway - "You can't jump with one foot on the floor." Basically, this week, I need to get my finger out and make damn sure I don't completely put the last six months to waste.
Four stone mark - I am going to own you...!!
Showing posts with label boozing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boozing. Show all posts
Monday, 23 July 2012
Monday, 25 June 2012
Rainy Days and Mondays...
I'd like to dedicate today's blog title to my cousin Angela in honour of the best karaoke story ever!
I had a really weird dream last night that Adam and I went to see Michael Nesmith but Manchester had been taken over by zombies and we were trapped in a taxi with a zombie taxi driver. It was scary. I have no idea where it came from either, I am not a fan of the zombie on any level, and have never watched anything involving said mythical baddie ever in my life. Except an epsiode of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. called 'The Very Important Zombie Affair' and an episode of Gilligan's Island called 'Voodoo'. But in each case the zombie situation wasn't particularly threatening, least of all from Professor Roy Hinkley.
In fairness, I get that sort of 'undead' vibe from Manchester every time I visit the place.
And I have to say, he may unquestionably be very close to the top of my Favourite People in Existence list and he is an artistic, literary and musical Peter Perfect - but Mr Leslie screams like a girl when confronted by a zombie asking him for his taxi fare. Just sayin'.
Tell you what though, if any zombies even attempt to ruin my night seeing Nesmith, they'll be messing with the wrong girl...
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Manchester. *shudder* Let's get out of there.
I can't say the weekend has been particularly interesting. The rain was so bad on Friday (as previously documented) that I had to postpone Zara and Nicky coming to visit as Leyland was absolutely flooded, so Saturday went from being potentially the most exciting day of the year so far to being spent doing housework and glaring disapprovingly at the rain every time I looked out the window.
In the end I gave up and watched the Bourne Trilogy. I do love the Bourne films. I'm not a fan of Matt Damon, particularly - but I do love the films. They're all very exciting and there's hardly any dialogue to screw up, but there's loads of Jason Bourne looking all tortured and then going off killing people with biros and stuff - and the car chase in The Bourne Supremacy is possibly the best one in cinematic history. I can't wait till The Bourne Legacy comes out, it'll be more of the same (hey, if it ain't broke etc!) but with Jeremy Renner AND Edward Norton on the screen at the same time!! Eeep!! I'm far more excited about that than the Spider-Man and Batman films put together. Which sounds terrible coming from a huge fan of both Spider-Man and Batman, but there you go. Don't get me started on my trepidation for the new Spider-Man film. There's only one Peter Parker/Spider-Man and that's Tobey Maguire.
I know, I had a similar feeling about the Edward Norton/Mark Ruffalo/Hulk/Bruce Banner issue, and I was proved completely wrong there - but Spider-Man is my all-time favourite superhero and it genuinely didn't feel like Tobey Maguire ever needed to act that role. He just was Peter/Spidey. Say what you like about the Sam Raimi films, but they were all very special to me (especially Spider-Man 2) and it's going to take something spectacular to win me over. Judging by the reviews so far, I'm not going to build my hopes up.
2012 - it's an interesting year for cinema and no mistake!
I did overdo the Synnage on Friday - but I had spent the entire day being rained on and thought a couple of chuff-off brandies would have a medicinal benefit and stop me catching pneumonia. So far, so good - I've not even had a sniffle yet. So there must be something in it... I've been very good on the diet front since Friday, though. I've had a will of iron. I will lose that half-pound this week if it flippin' kills me!!!
I might have some exciting news on Wednesday. Why don't you join me then and find out?
I had a really weird dream last night that Adam and I went to see Michael Nesmith but Manchester had been taken over by zombies and we were trapped in a taxi with a zombie taxi driver. It was scary. I have no idea where it came from either, I am not a fan of the zombie on any level, and have never watched anything involving said mythical baddie ever in my life. Except an epsiode of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. called 'The Very Important Zombie Affair' and an episode of Gilligan's Island called 'Voodoo'. But in each case the zombie situation wasn't particularly threatening, least of all from Professor Roy Hinkley.
In fairness, I get that sort of 'undead' vibe from Manchester every time I visit the place.
And I have to say, he may unquestionably be very close to the top of my Favourite People in Existence list and he is an artistic, literary and musical Peter Perfect - but Mr Leslie screams like a girl when confronted by a zombie asking him for his taxi fare. Just sayin'.
Tell you what though, if any zombies even attempt to ruin my night seeing Nesmith, they'll be messing with the wrong girl...
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Manchester. *shudder* Let's get out of there.
I can't say the weekend has been particularly interesting. The rain was so bad on Friday (as previously documented) that I had to postpone Zara and Nicky coming to visit as Leyland was absolutely flooded, so Saturday went from being potentially the most exciting day of the year so far to being spent doing housework and glaring disapprovingly at the rain every time I looked out the window.
In the end I gave up and watched the Bourne Trilogy. I do love the Bourne films. I'm not a fan of Matt Damon, particularly - but I do love the films. They're all very exciting and there's hardly any dialogue to screw up, but there's loads of Jason Bourne looking all tortured and then going off killing people with biros and stuff - and the car chase in The Bourne Supremacy is possibly the best one in cinematic history. I can't wait till The Bourne Legacy comes out, it'll be more of the same (hey, if it ain't broke etc!) but with Jeremy Renner AND Edward Norton on the screen at the same time!! Eeep!! I'm far more excited about that than the Spider-Man and Batman films put together. Which sounds terrible coming from a huge fan of both Spider-Man and Batman, but there you go. Don't get me started on my trepidation for the new Spider-Man film. There's only one Peter Parker/Spider-Man and that's Tobey Maguire.
I know, I had a similar feeling about the Edward Norton/Mark Ruffalo/Hulk/Bruce Banner issue, and I was proved completely wrong there - but Spider-Man is my all-time favourite superhero and it genuinely didn't feel like Tobey Maguire ever needed to act that role. He just was Peter/Spidey. Say what you like about the Sam Raimi films, but they were all very special to me (especially Spider-Man 2) and it's going to take something spectacular to win me over. Judging by the reviews so far, I'm not going to build my hopes up.
2012 - it's an interesting year for cinema and no mistake!
I did overdo the Synnage on Friday - but I had spent the entire day being rained on and thought a couple of chuff-off brandies would have a medicinal benefit and stop me catching pneumonia. So far, so good - I've not even had a sniffle yet. So there must be something in it... I've been very good on the diet front since Friday, though. I've had a will of iron. I will lose that half-pound this week if it flippin' kills me!!!
I might have some exciting news on Wednesday. Why don't you join me then and find out?
Monday, 2 April 2012
Brown Sugar!
*shudder*
I think I may have mentioned on Friday that the lovely Helena is moving to Australia in a couple of weeks and had the ingenious idea of a few of us attending a beer and wine festival at the weekend. It ended up just being Helena, Becky and I - but we were like the Three Musketeers, one for all and all for a grand old time!!
Well, the entrance fee was £8, and for that you got your very own glass and a £5 token to get you started on the slippery slope to forgetting your own name. So I merrily trotted over to my pals, dished out hugs all round, then scampered off to locate the ideal beverage to start my day off.
There were a few ciders named after Rolling Stones songs, including Brown Sugar and Ruby Tuesday. There was another one called Cherry Perry, which sounded very innocent indeed - but at 7.9% I must say it did have something of a kick to it. Ay chihuahua!! I think I remained in full control of my powers of speech until I'd had my fourth drink (in order to be fair to all the types of booze around there, I had decided to take the slighly controversial and, in hindsight, completely unwise cider-beer-cider-beer...cider-beer [I think, I lost count after a while] approach to my drinking) and then I have a feeling I did need to concentrate a little harder on not slurring.
A beer festival in a museum probably is the best idea ever. I would never have gone to the Commercial Vehicle Museum ever in a million years, despite it being about a 15 minute walk from the flat. But you would definitely be surprised at how interesting old vehicles are after a couple of glasses of something exciting and warming. Did you know they had an old Pope-Mobile in there from the 70s/80s? Comfiest seats ever. Seriously. And who knew that antique fire engines were so comfy?! Well. Now you all do.
After a full day's drinking, the only thing to do, it was agreed, was to go to the pub for a cheeky one. Or two. I think it might have ended up being three. Still. A lovely time was had by all and I decided to walk myself home - which was a little dangerous considering there were a couple of main roads to negotiate - I accomplished with no drama and remained unscathed completely by the experience.
If I have put any weight on this week after such a huge day off, I only have myself to blame. Still. There's some sort of adage about being hung for a sheep rather than a lamb that would probably be useful to quote at this juncture. If only I could remember it.
Yesterday, I was a little delicate. Well. Very delicate. But pure orange juice is a fabulous, magical hangover cure, and I was absolutely fine by lunchtime. I was back on the diet with an absolute vengeance. I'm still back on it - and am definitely being teetotal this week - but I have a feeling I need to do a bit of serious walking to even make a dint in working off all that sugar that must've ploughed through my system on Saturday. Sheesh!
Well, after a weekend of hell-raising, I think the rest of the week will be a little more sedate. I have nothing planned, really, except for continuing to count down the days till the Avengers film comes out (25 sleeps to go!) and playing my new Spider-Man board game that my other big sister got for me!!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend too, whatever you got up to. Join me again on Wednesday, when hopefully every last rotten stinking trace of alcohol will have left my system and I'll be just about back to normal...!!
I think I may have mentioned on Friday that the lovely Helena is moving to Australia in a couple of weeks and had the ingenious idea of a few of us attending a beer and wine festival at the weekend. It ended up just being Helena, Becky and I - but we were like the Three Musketeers, one for all and all for a grand old time!!
Well, the entrance fee was £8, and for that you got your very own glass and a £5 token to get you started on the slippery slope to forgetting your own name. So I merrily trotted over to my pals, dished out hugs all round, then scampered off to locate the ideal beverage to start my day off.
There were a few ciders named after Rolling Stones songs, including Brown Sugar and Ruby Tuesday. There was another one called Cherry Perry, which sounded very innocent indeed - but at 7.9% I must say it did have something of a kick to it. Ay chihuahua!! I think I remained in full control of my powers of speech until I'd had my fourth drink (in order to be fair to all the types of booze around there, I had decided to take the slighly controversial and, in hindsight, completely unwise cider-beer-cider-beer...cider-beer [I think, I lost count after a while] approach to my drinking) and then I have a feeling I did need to concentrate a little harder on not slurring.
A beer festival in a museum probably is the best idea ever. I would never have gone to the Commercial Vehicle Museum ever in a million years, despite it being about a 15 minute walk from the flat. But you would definitely be surprised at how interesting old vehicles are after a couple of glasses of something exciting and warming. Did you know they had an old Pope-Mobile in there from the 70s/80s? Comfiest seats ever. Seriously. And who knew that antique fire engines were so comfy?! Well. Now you all do.
After a full day's drinking, the only thing to do, it was agreed, was to go to the pub for a cheeky one. Or two. I think it might have ended up being three. Still. A lovely time was had by all and I decided to walk myself home - which was a little dangerous considering there were a couple of main roads to negotiate - I accomplished with no drama and remained unscathed completely by the experience.
If I have put any weight on this week after such a huge day off, I only have myself to blame. Still. There's some sort of adage about being hung for a sheep rather than a lamb that would probably be useful to quote at this juncture. If only I could remember it.
Yesterday, I was a little delicate. Well. Very delicate. But pure orange juice is a fabulous, magical hangover cure, and I was absolutely fine by lunchtime. I was back on the diet with an absolute vengeance. I'm still back on it - and am definitely being teetotal this week - but I have a feeling I need to do a bit of serious walking to even make a dint in working off all that sugar that must've ploughed through my system on Saturday. Sheesh!
Well, after a weekend of hell-raising, I think the rest of the week will be a little more sedate. I have nothing planned, really, except for continuing to count down the days till the Avengers film comes out (25 sleeps to go!) and playing my new Spider-Man board game that my other big sister got for me!!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend too, whatever you got up to. Join me again on Wednesday, when hopefully every last rotten stinking trace of alcohol will have left my system and I'll be just about back to normal...!!
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