It's all right, I didn't kill myself on Sunday as envisaged. I hit the 29 mark, I survived, I made it through, I'm going to continue with living for a little while longer. After all, I've lost three stone, it'd be a shame to waste it. I'll just have to be old and deal with it like normal people.
To combat the ageing blues, I've started a new (not 'new', exactly, more 'revisited' as I've loved this actor for years anyway) and more than likely short-lived cinematic obsession, it'll probably only last a few weeks. I can't even remember how many Stewart Granger films I've watched over the last three days. At least six. I've had a jolly good time doing it, too!! Did you know - and I certainly didn't, but I love him even more now I do know - his real name is James Stewart, but he had to change his name (he chose a mixture of his surname and his mum's maiden name) to stop him being mixed up with... well... James Stewart, aka my absolute favourite actor of all time! I mean, there is a resemblence, I suppose, they're both tall and a bit gormless-looking!! Good ol' Granger - he's like the David Bowie of cinema, but without heterochromia!! Scaramouche. Get it watched. It's a classic.
I went to a party on Friday night and I wore a dress that I bought from a high street shop. That's right. I walked into Dorothy Perkins. I saw a red dress (it's a constant source of disappointment to my Dad that, although I've been raised a true Evertonian, I love wearing red!). I thought "Oooh, that's pretty!" I saw it was very reasonably priced. I bought it. I tried it on. IT. FITTED. PERFECTLY. Seriously. It's such an achievement I really can't describe how chuffed I was. I might've still looked a mess, but at least I know that I can buy nice clothes on the high street now. I still have a long way to go, I know I do - but it was such a great feeling to go out in public wearing clothing that wasn't from the plus-size range!!
However, having said all that - I've decided to have a week off the diet. Not a going mad and turning into Miss Pacman type week off, but just a week off. It all started on Saturday. My lovely friend Clayre-Louyse and her husband, Adam, have moved near me. This is brilliant. Clayre and I have been friends for about eight years but we've always lived miles and miles away from each other - now she lives a ten minute walk away!! Hooraaayyy!! Anyway, I'd been in work all morning, then gone grocery shopping straight from work and by the time I got to Clayre's at half three, I hadn't eaten anything. I brought her a packet of biscuits (they always help with unpacking), really nice chocolatey ones, and she offered me one with my brew. Normally I'd've said no and been strong, but I hadn't eaten anything all day and I hadn't had a biscuit all year, so I accepted. I instantly thought "Gah, that's it now..." and decided to have a day off. In fact, I had a monumental day off. I went to the pub with my sister, had burger and chips and a pint of beer, followed by a chocolate ice-cream sundae, which had huge chunks of brownies in - and the brownies were still warm!! Oh my goodness! It was indescribably incredible!!
I really haven't had a huge day off like that yet, so I didn't feel too bad. But bank holidays are funny things, and I haven't been able to reign it back in as normal. I've not been spectacularly naughty, I've just not been nearly so strict with myself. So I'm not going to weigh-in tomorrow. A week off won't kill me. I'm still going to get there eventually. It feels like I've taken a bit of pressure off myself, which has to be a good thing. I'll get back on it properly and with a vengeance in the next day or so, I promise. I'm even strongly toying with the idea of joining a gym. Yes, you read that right. A gym. Cross-trainers, rowing machines, all that type of thing. A real live gym!
For those of you who are huge fans of the llamas - fear not! They will be out in fine style on Friday anyway, dancing away like things possessed, as I will be dedicating Friday's blog to a review of Nathan's album, which I received on Saturday morning. I'll tell you all about it then!!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
I Wish I Had Something to Say
This is my problem, folks, and I would like to start by way of an apology for no blog on Monday. I'm just out of stuff to talk about at the moment. I've even got writer's block on my blog.
It's difficult to find new things to say when you're only really blogging about one thing. I had a few complaints when I wrote about the stuff I was writing, that nobody was actually interested in that - and that's fair enough, I completely understand that. The actual, physical, sitting-down-and-typing aspects of writing are extremely boring indeed. Writing only rates a 'meh' on the Rock'n'Roll Artistic Scale, after all. It isn't instantaneous enough. I bore myself about it, so I dread to think how many people I've sent to sleep over my updates on things I'm writing!
So, really, the whole purpose of this blog has been to keep me encouraged while I lose weight. Losing weight, it turns out, is probably the only thing more boring than writing.
This is my mindset on the weight loss front: I need to lose weight. I am losing weight. I am doing this by eating more healthy stuff and eating less rubbish. I have cut out full-sugar Coca-Cola and replaced it with sugar free stuff. I've cut down my alcohol intake massively. I do a bit of exercise where I can and when I can be bothered.
When it comes to chocolate and pizza and beer and crisps and all the things that make life worth living - I will have those things. I will. When I've lost the weight. If I get a craving for something, I think about something else. I'm very tough with myself and I don't mind that because I know *eventually* it will be worth it and any self-deprivation is only temporary. It comes down to this - I would rather be able to fit into lovely clothes than eat chocolate. When I'm thinner I'll be able to fit into lovely clothes AND eat chocolate - so if I have to miss out for 8-10 months, that's fine by me.
A lot of people have asked me if I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 2 1/2 stone. I'm not. I'll be happy when it's over and when I've done it. But at the moment I just want to get there. There's no point in being proud of myself when I haven't actually achieved anything yet. I haven't given up, which is good. But that's probably about it.
Having said that, I am so happy that so many people are proud of me, and that everyone's saying such lovely things about my progress so far. It helps to keep me going more than any of you realise. It isn't just me I'll be letting down if I don't do it this time - it's family, friends, complete strangers who have started reading the blog - and not forgetting the llamas! Ricardo will be heartbroken! It's pressure, but it's a nice pressure, and one that I'm very grateful for. I love that people care about me enough to talk to me about it and ask me questions about how I'm getting on and how I'm feeling. Focussed. That's how I'm feeling. I've still got my game face on for this thing. I'm going to do it. Even if it takes longer than I'd like, I'm going to do it. I've had enough of feeling physically sick every time I walk past a reflective surface and get a glimpse of myself.
So, nothing to worry about really. Everything's okay - but nothing's happened that requires reporting on. Everything's still the same, I'm still attempting to go forward in the war on obesity. I've got a bit of writer's block which is really annoying me, but it'll clear eventually. I'm not stuck to a deadline or anything. In short, and for a person with nothing to say, I do realise this blog entry's gone on for about a year - although I'm absolutely fine and there's nothing the matter and I'm not about to go out and consume my body weight in fried chicken, I'm just feeling a bit nothing-ish at the moment. But it's just a blip and I'll get over it.
I promise I'll be less miserable and grumpy next time - so please join me again on Friday. Hopefully I'll have got the 2 1/2 stone shiny sticker and certificate by then and the llamas will put on a fiesta that will blow your minds!!
It's difficult to find new things to say when you're only really blogging about one thing. I had a few complaints when I wrote about the stuff I was writing, that nobody was actually interested in that - and that's fair enough, I completely understand that. The actual, physical, sitting-down-and-typing aspects of writing are extremely boring indeed. Writing only rates a 'meh' on the Rock'n'Roll Artistic Scale, after all. It isn't instantaneous enough. I bore myself about it, so I dread to think how many people I've sent to sleep over my updates on things I'm writing!
So, really, the whole purpose of this blog has been to keep me encouraged while I lose weight. Losing weight, it turns out, is probably the only thing more boring than writing.
This is my mindset on the weight loss front: I need to lose weight. I am losing weight. I am doing this by eating more healthy stuff and eating less rubbish. I have cut out full-sugar Coca-Cola and replaced it with sugar free stuff. I've cut down my alcohol intake massively. I do a bit of exercise where I can and when I can be bothered.
When it comes to chocolate and pizza and beer and crisps and all the things that make life worth living - I will have those things. I will. When I've lost the weight. If I get a craving for something, I think about something else. I'm very tough with myself and I don't mind that because I know *eventually* it will be worth it and any self-deprivation is only temporary. It comes down to this - I would rather be able to fit into lovely clothes than eat chocolate. When I'm thinner I'll be able to fit into lovely clothes AND eat chocolate - so if I have to miss out for 8-10 months, that's fine by me.
A lot of people have asked me if I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 2 1/2 stone. I'm not. I'll be happy when it's over and when I've done it. But at the moment I just want to get there. There's no point in being proud of myself when I haven't actually achieved anything yet. I haven't given up, which is good. But that's probably about it.
Having said that, I am so happy that so many people are proud of me, and that everyone's saying such lovely things about my progress so far. It helps to keep me going more than any of you realise. It isn't just me I'll be letting down if I don't do it this time - it's family, friends, complete strangers who have started reading the blog - and not forgetting the llamas! Ricardo will be heartbroken! It's pressure, but it's a nice pressure, and one that I'm very grateful for. I love that people care about me enough to talk to me about it and ask me questions about how I'm getting on and how I'm feeling. Focussed. That's how I'm feeling. I've still got my game face on for this thing. I'm going to do it. Even if it takes longer than I'd like, I'm going to do it. I've had enough of feeling physically sick every time I walk past a reflective surface and get a glimpse of myself.
So, nothing to worry about really. Everything's okay - but nothing's happened that requires reporting on. Everything's still the same, I'm still attempting to go forward in the war on obesity. I've got a bit of writer's block which is really annoying me, but it'll clear eventually. I'm not stuck to a deadline or anything. In short, and for a person with nothing to say, I do realise this blog entry's gone on for about a year - although I'm absolutely fine and there's nothing the matter and I'm not about to go out and consume my body weight in fried chicken, I'm just feeling a bit nothing-ish at the moment. But it's just a blip and I'll get over it.
I promise I'll be less miserable and grumpy next time - so please join me again on Friday. Hopefully I'll have got the 2 1/2 stone shiny sticker and certificate by then and the llamas will put on a fiesta that will blow your minds!!
Monday, 2 April 2012
Brown Sugar!
*shudder*
I think I may have mentioned on Friday that the lovely Helena is moving to Australia in a couple of weeks and had the ingenious idea of a few of us attending a beer and wine festival at the weekend. It ended up just being Helena, Becky and I - but we were like the Three Musketeers, one for all and all for a grand old time!!
Well, the entrance fee was £8, and for that you got your very own glass and a £5 token to get you started on the slippery slope to forgetting your own name. So I merrily trotted over to my pals, dished out hugs all round, then scampered off to locate the ideal beverage to start my day off.
There were a few ciders named after Rolling Stones songs, including Brown Sugar and Ruby Tuesday. There was another one called Cherry Perry, which sounded very innocent indeed - but at 7.9% I must say it did have something of a kick to it. Ay chihuahua!! I think I remained in full control of my powers of speech until I'd had my fourth drink (in order to be fair to all the types of booze around there, I had decided to take the slighly controversial and, in hindsight, completely unwise cider-beer-cider-beer...cider-beer [I think, I lost count after a while] approach to my drinking) and then I have a feeling I did need to concentrate a little harder on not slurring.
A beer festival in a museum probably is the best idea ever. I would never have gone to the Commercial Vehicle Museum ever in a million years, despite it being about a 15 minute walk from the flat. But you would definitely be surprised at how interesting old vehicles are after a couple of glasses of something exciting and warming. Did you know they had an old Pope-Mobile in there from the 70s/80s? Comfiest seats ever. Seriously. And who knew that antique fire engines were so comfy?! Well. Now you all do.
After a full day's drinking, the only thing to do, it was agreed, was to go to the pub for a cheeky one. Or two. I think it might have ended up being three. Still. A lovely time was had by all and I decided to walk myself home - which was a little dangerous considering there were a couple of main roads to negotiate - I accomplished with no drama and remained unscathed completely by the experience.
If I have put any weight on this week after such a huge day off, I only have myself to blame. Still. There's some sort of adage about being hung for a sheep rather than a lamb that would probably be useful to quote at this juncture. If only I could remember it.
Yesterday, I was a little delicate. Well. Very delicate. But pure orange juice is a fabulous, magical hangover cure, and I was absolutely fine by lunchtime. I was back on the diet with an absolute vengeance. I'm still back on it - and am definitely being teetotal this week - but I have a feeling I need to do a bit of serious walking to even make a dint in working off all that sugar that must've ploughed through my system on Saturday. Sheesh!
Well, after a weekend of hell-raising, I think the rest of the week will be a little more sedate. I have nothing planned, really, except for continuing to count down the days till the Avengers film comes out (25 sleeps to go!) and playing my new Spider-Man board game that my other big sister got for me!!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend too, whatever you got up to. Join me again on Wednesday, when hopefully every last rotten stinking trace of alcohol will have left my system and I'll be just about back to normal...!!
I think I may have mentioned on Friday that the lovely Helena is moving to Australia in a couple of weeks and had the ingenious idea of a few of us attending a beer and wine festival at the weekend. It ended up just being Helena, Becky and I - but we were like the Three Musketeers, one for all and all for a grand old time!!
Well, the entrance fee was £8, and for that you got your very own glass and a £5 token to get you started on the slippery slope to forgetting your own name. So I merrily trotted over to my pals, dished out hugs all round, then scampered off to locate the ideal beverage to start my day off.
There were a few ciders named after Rolling Stones songs, including Brown Sugar and Ruby Tuesday. There was another one called Cherry Perry, which sounded very innocent indeed - but at 7.9% I must say it did have something of a kick to it. Ay chihuahua!! I think I remained in full control of my powers of speech until I'd had my fourth drink (in order to be fair to all the types of booze around there, I had decided to take the slighly controversial and, in hindsight, completely unwise cider-beer-cider-beer...cider-beer [I think, I lost count after a while] approach to my drinking) and then I have a feeling I did need to concentrate a little harder on not slurring.
A beer festival in a museum probably is the best idea ever. I would never have gone to the Commercial Vehicle Museum ever in a million years, despite it being about a 15 minute walk from the flat. But you would definitely be surprised at how interesting old vehicles are after a couple of glasses of something exciting and warming. Did you know they had an old Pope-Mobile in there from the 70s/80s? Comfiest seats ever. Seriously. And who knew that antique fire engines were so comfy?! Well. Now you all do.
After a full day's drinking, the only thing to do, it was agreed, was to go to the pub for a cheeky one. Or two. I think it might have ended up being three. Still. A lovely time was had by all and I decided to walk myself home - which was a little dangerous considering there were a couple of main roads to negotiate - I accomplished with no drama and remained unscathed completely by the experience.
If I have put any weight on this week after such a huge day off, I only have myself to blame. Still. There's some sort of adage about being hung for a sheep rather than a lamb that would probably be useful to quote at this juncture. If only I could remember it.
Yesterday, I was a little delicate. Well. Very delicate. But pure orange juice is a fabulous, magical hangover cure, and I was absolutely fine by lunchtime. I was back on the diet with an absolute vengeance. I'm still back on it - and am definitely being teetotal this week - but I have a feeling I need to do a bit of serious walking to even make a dint in working off all that sugar that must've ploughed through my system on Saturday. Sheesh!
Well, after a weekend of hell-raising, I think the rest of the week will be a little more sedate. I have nothing planned, really, except for continuing to count down the days till the Avengers film comes out (25 sleeps to go!) and playing my new Spider-Man board game that my other big sister got for me!!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend too, whatever you got up to. Join me again on Wednesday, when hopefully every last rotten stinking trace of alcohol will have left my system and I'll be just about back to normal...!!
Monday, 23 January 2012
It's a Little Bit Funny
Happy Monday, everyone!!
I know, I know, what's so happy about it? Good question. I'm in a bizarrely unprovoked great mood today and I don't think anything can bring me down. That may have been something to do with the chuff-off coffee I had at Costa this morning. For those of you who are panicking at the idea of a person on a diet going into Costa, it's fine - no rules were broken or bent. Slimming World totally understands the importance of caffeine in the human psyche.
I think the important thing about the weekend, for me, is that I didn't really overeat. Although I probably had about a trillion Syns on Saturday when (purely out of politeness, you understand... *removes tongue from cheek*) I had a spoonful of homemade blackberry ice-cream. Oh Emm Eff Gee, it was literally the most amazing thing I've ever had in my life - it was *just* cream and blackberry juice! Just the memory of it will keep me going for the next couple of months, I'm quite sure! Still, I really reined it all in yesterday and am detemined to continue in the same vein during the week. I will drop my first stone by the end of next week, dammit. I've only got 5 1/2 lbs to go. I lost that in my first week at Slimming World!
My absolute highlight of the weekend was going to visit my pal, Rachael. We got a free meal in the pub, we tried to watch The Green Hornet but ended up watching itsjustsomerandomguy videos on YouTube instead (*sings* "I'm a Marvel, he's a DC, but you're the only one who's ever been insiiiide of meeeeeee........... as a characterrr....!"). Honestly, if you have any love for any superheroey type stuff, check out his YouTube channel. The man is a legend and one of my absolute comedy idols.
Before we went to the pub, we had a great laugh with Rachael's twenty-month-old daughter, Erin. Those of you who know me are well aware of my aversion and fear of children, but Erin is one of the few exceptions. She's a genius, and already has the most contagious laugh ever. She just gets more adorable and hilarious the older she gets. My black, granite heart is no match for her overwhelming fabulousness.
So, anyway, it's been a little while since I updated about the progress of The Phantom Winger. This is mostly because I've had writer's block, and also because I realise that if I go on too much about the story it'll ruin the whole thing for everyone, and none of us want that - least of all me!
I've polished up the Prologue, added a couple of bits to make it a bit more page-turny, completely finished Chapter One and am almost done with Chapter Two. I should be on Chapter Three by the end of the week. I feel as though I'm falling into my other usual trap of not being descriptive enough in my narrative, or indeed just not having enough narrative - there's a *lot* of dialogue so far in Chapter Two. I think I just managed to balance it out in Chapter One and I'm hoping I can bring it all together by the end of Chapter Two. If anyone wants to read what I've got so far, please drop me a line or leave me a comment and I'll send it over. All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
I've had quite a few comments from people who think that this very blog should be published. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. For a start, I put literally no thought or effort into updating this. I won't lie to you. It's just a stream of consciousness thing to keep me on the straight and narrow on the writing and weight loss front. Also - aside from my friends and family, who is going to care about my weight loss adventure?! It'd take a lot of adapting and would by its very nature need to be a lot more contrived than it already is. However, I'm really quite surprised by how popular this blog is - believe it or not, I've had nearly 1,000 hits so far, even from places as random as Romania and Indonesia!! Not only that - look at Bridget Jones and Adrian Mole. They kept quite successful diaries, didn't they?! I guess if I can make a couple of bob from my blog then it might help me to concentrate even more on my spy books, which is the main thing. I'm not sure if Slimming World Magazine might be interested in taking it on in a serial format or something. It's definitely something to bear in mind - but for the moment at least, I just want to focus on losing weight and getting my story written. Again, any thoughts or advice on this particular subject will be greatly appreciated.
I'm feeling really far too happy at the moment to be funny. Everything really seems to be great at the moment. I'm feeling positive about everything and in all fairness I'm even starting to freak myself out. I'm too cheerful for my own good. It'll all end in tears!!!
Join me on Wednesday, when the midweek slump will have occurred and I'll be back to my normal self, and generally more grumpy and acid-tongued (or fingertipped, as the case may be!) than Paul O'Grady at a party.
I know, I know, what's so happy about it? Good question. I'm in a bizarrely unprovoked great mood today and I don't think anything can bring me down. That may have been something to do with the chuff-off coffee I had at Costa this morning. For those of you who are panicking at the idea of a person on a diet going into Costa, it's fine - no rules were broken or bent. Slimming World totally understands the importance of caffeine in the human psyche.
I think the important thing about the weekend, for me, is that I didn't really overeat. Although I probably had about a trillion Syns on Saturday when (purely out of politeness, you understand... *removes tongue from cheek*) I had a spoonful of homemade blackberry ice-cream. Oh Emm Eff Gee, it was literally the most amazing thing I've ever had in my life - it was *just* cream and blackberry juice! Just the memory of it will keep me going for the next couple of months, I'm quite sure! Still, I really reined it all in yesterday and am detemined to continue in the same vein during the week. I will drop my first stone by the end of next week, dammit. I've only got 5 1/2 lbs to go. I lost that in my first week at Slimming World!
My absolute highlight of the weekend was going to visit my pal, Rachael. We got a free meal in the pub, we tried to watch The Green Hornet but ended up watching itsjustsomerandomguy videos on YouTube instead (*sings* "I'm a Marvel, he's a DC, but you're the only one who's ever been insiiiide of meeeeeee........... as a characterrr....!"). Honestly, if you have any love for any superheroey type stuff, check out his YouTube channel. The man is a legend and one of my absolute comedy idols.
Before we went to the pub, we had a great laugh with Rachael's twenty-month-old daughter, Erin. Those of you who know me are well aware of my aversion and fear of children, but Erin is one of the few exceptions. She's a genius, and already has the most contagious laugh ever. She just gets more adorable and hilarious the older she gets. My black, granite heart is no match for her overwhelming fabulousness.
So, anyway, it's been a little while since I updated about the progress of The Phantom Winger. This is mostly because I've had writer's block, and also because I realise that if I go on too much about the story it'll ruin the whole thing for everyone, and none of us want that - least of all me!
I've polished up the Prologue, added a couple of bits to make it a bit more page-turny, completely finished Chapter One and am almost done with Chapter Two. I should be on Chapter Three by the end of the week. I feel as though I'm falling into my other usual trap of not being descriptive enough in my narrative, or indeed just not having enough narrative - there's a *lot* of dialogue so far in Chapter Two. I think I just managed to balance it out in Chapter One and I'm hoping I can bring it all together by the end of Chapter Two. If anyone wants to read what I've got so far, please drop me a line or leave me a comment and I'll send it over. All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
I've had quite a few comments from people who think that this very blog should be published. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. For a start, I put literally no thought or effort into updating this. I won't lie to you. It's just a stream of consciousness thing to keep me on the straight and narrow on the writing and weight loss front. Also - aside from my friends and family, who is going to care about my weight loss adventure?! It'd take a lot of adapting and would by its very nature need to be a lot more contrived than it already is. However, I'm really quite surprised by how popular this blog is - believe it or not, I've had nearly 1,000 hits so far, even from places as random as Romania and Indonesia!! Not only that - look at Bridget Jones and Adrian Mole. They kept quite successful diaries, didn't they?! I guess if I can make a couple of bob from my blog then it might help me to concentrate even more on my spy books, which is the main thing. I'm not sure if Slimming World Magazine might be interested in taking it on in a serial format or something. It's definitely something to bear in mind - but for the moment at least, I just want to focus on losing weight and getting my story written. Again, any thoughts or advice on this particular subject will be greatly appreciated.
I'm feeling really far too happy at the moment to be funny. Everything really seems to be great at the moment. I'm feeling positive about everything and in all fairness I'm even starting to freak myself out. I'm too cheerful for my own good. It'll all end in tears!!!
Join me on Wednesday, when the midweek slump will have occurred and I'll be back to my normal self, and generally more grumpy and acid-tongued (or fingertipped, as the case may be!) than Paul O'Grady at a party.
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