I'd like to dedicate today's blog title to my cousin Angela in honour of the best karaoke story ever!
I had a really weird dream last night that Adam and I went to see Michael Nesmith but Manchester had been taken over by zombies and we were trapped in a taxi with a zombie taxi driver. It was scary. I have no idea where it came from either, I am not a fan of the zombie on any level, and have never watched anything involving said mythical baddie ever in my life. Except an epsiode of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. called 'The Very Important Zombie Affair' and an episode of Gilligan's Island called 'Voodoo'. But in each case the zombie situation wasn't particularly threatening, least of all from Professor Roy Hinkley.
In fairness, I get that sort of 'undead' vibe from Manchester every time I visit the place.
And I have to say, he may unquestionably be very close to the top of my Favourite People in Existence list and he is an artistic, literary and musical Peter Perfect - but Mr Leslie screams like a girl when confronted by a zombie asking him for his taxi fare. Just sayin'.
Tell you what though, if any zombies even attempt to ruin my night seeing Nesmith, they'll be messing with the wrong girl...
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Manchester. *shudder* Let's get out of there.
I can't say the weekend has been particularly interesting. The rain was so bad on Friday (as previously documented) that I had to postpone Zara and Nicky coming to visit as Leyland was absolutely flooded, so Saturday went from being potentially the most exciting day of the year so far to being spent doing housework and glaring disapprovingly at the rain every time I looked out the window.
In the end I gave up and watched the Bourne Trilogy. I do love the Bourne films. I'm not a fan of Matt Damon, particularly - but I do love the films. They're all very exciting and there's hardly any dialogue to screw up, but there's loads of Jason Bourne looking all tortured and then going off killing people with biros and stuff - and the car chase in The Bourne Supremacy is possibly the best one in cinematic history. I can't wait till The Bourne Legacy comes out, it'll be more of the same (hey, if it ain't broke etc!) but with Jeremy Renner AND Edward Norton on the screen at the same time!! Eeep!! I'm far more excited about that than the Spider-Man and Batman films put together. Which sounds terrible coming from a huge fan of both Spider-Man and Batman, but there you go. Don't get me started on my trepidation for the new Spider-Man film. There's only one Peter Parker/Spider-Man and that's Tobey Maguire.
I know, I had a similar feeling about the Edward Norton/Mark Ruffalo/Hulk/Bruce Banner issue, and I was proved completely wrong there - but Spider-Man is my all-time favourite superhero and it genuinely didn't feel like Tobey Maguire ever needed to act that role. He just was Peter/Spidey. Say what you like about the Sam Raimi films, but they were all very special to me (especially Spider-Man 2) and it's going to take something spectacular to win me over. Judging by the reviews so far, I'm not going to build my hopes up.
2012 - it's an interesting year for cinema and no mistake!
I did overdo the Synnage on Friday - but I had spent the entire day being rained on and thought a couple of chuff-off brandies would have a medicinal benefit and stop me catching pneumonia. So far, so good - I've not even had a sniffle yet. So there must be something in it... I've been very good on the diet front since Friday, though. I've had a will of iron. I will lose that half-pound this week if it flippin' kills me!!!
I might have some exciting news on Wednesday. Why don't you join me then and find out?
Showing posts with label superheroes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label superheroes. Show all posts
Monday, 25 June 2012
Friday, 27 April 2012
"...You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry..."
You do not know - you cannot possibly even begin to comprehend how much I was looking forward to yesterday, because I can't put that much excitement into words. I've been counting down the sleeps since about 60. I never thought that longed-for day would ever arrive, but then yesterday, it did.
The Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes - finally Assembled. The sister and I went to the epicentre of small-town Lancashire, if not the universe (Preston), to see it. More on that later. I know I said I wouldn't turn into an hysterical wreck, but... to be honest, I had no other cause for celebration. There were plans for Southport but, despite me having such very high hopes for the day, not much turned out as planned.
I left work early so I could go to the 5:30p.m. weigh in and then go to Southport with Jo for a nice bit of a nosh-up at Nandos pre-film. But I hadn't reckoned on rush hour traffic on Golden Hill Lane in Leyland. My plans were ruined, so we decided that I'd get weighed early for the 7:30p.m. weigh in and we'd go to Preston instead and get KFC - it's the only savoury thing I've really craved and I haven't had it since last June when I went to see X-Men First Class. And as last week's plan of overindulging didn't go to plan, I thought I'd definitely be able to sin like mad with some well-deserved fast food.
I turned up at the Church Hall at about 7:20p.m. all full of hope - and was a bit peturbed to find that there was uproar in the group. Trouble at t'Mill, you might say. Everyone was angry. There was shouting, there was a lot of, "This is a [flipping] joke!" There was even a bit of, "That's it, I'm not wasting my time on this [nonsense] any more! Forget it! Shove your [blooming] weight loss regime!" It's a family-friendly blog, I had to censor the level of uproar!
I was, quite frankly, puzzled. Normally our group is very cheerful and happy and nobody's too grumpy at all. It's all really quite chilled out. Everyone usually has a bit of a giggle if they put weight on. Last night, however, was different. Quite, quite different. It looked like there was going to be a riot of some sort.
When I got to the weigh-in point, I asked the lady at the scales what was going on, and it turned out that Andrea the Consultant, in her infinite wisdom, had decided that the scales she's been using since time immemorial were weighing too light and so she'd bought new ones, which were weighing a bit heavy - so everyone had seemed to put weight on. The lady before me had apparently put 6 1/2 lbs on. There was fury. Real, proper anger.
I crossed my fingers, hoped for the best and got on the scales.
Apparently, despite the fact I'd done nothing differently during the past seven days and had eaten sensibly, done a bit of exercise and generally followed the same procedure that I have always done - I've put 3lbs on.
This is a nonsense. The red mist officially descended. I was livid. My blood pressure almost hit 200. I might've gone green, shot up in height and turned into an inarticulate rage monster. I very very nearly did. I ranted, I raved, I pointed out that we depend on the accuracy of the scales and we all spend good money each week on making sure that the equipment we need is there for us. Even if the scales themselves were inaccurate, the increments of weight loss should be reliable. Then I stormed out with some women who said they would never again darken the doorstep.
I just said I was going to the pictures and was quite noncommital about my proposed whereabouts for next week. I still don't know what to do.
Psychologically, she's done a really stupid thing to everyone. She has two classes and all members of both groups were furious with her - and I would feel sorry for her, but why would you do that to people? I mean, why? Seriously. But there's nothing we can do about it, she's not likely to change the scales back, and even if she did - next week wouldn't read right either because we've already been weighed on a different pair of scales. Basically - the thing not to do when you're a slimming consultant, I think, is to change from a pair of scales that allegdly 'weigh light' to a pair of scales that clearly 'weigh heavy' without giving anyone any prior warning. Just saying.
I know it only sounds like a little thing, but it isn't to me. I mean, I have worked really hard for this, and so's Jo with all her genius cooking, and so have all of you just by encouraging me to keep going and it really feels like the one person who shouldn't have pulled the rug from under me has done. It's like the goalposts have been moved on her whim, that whatever achievement I've celebrated I haven't been entitled to because the scales were wrong all along. I genuinely don't know what to think now. At this stage I'm really not sure if I want to go back to that group or not. It isn't just me she's let down, it's everybody. There will be a lot of grumpy fat people in Leyland today. More than usual.
Needless to say, I came home and immediately sent the llamas off for a well deserved break to Magaluf. Ricardo was very excited, Miguel decided he'd take fashion tips from Javier (the quiet one) and buy a bandana while he's out there, and Enrique had a panic attack because he didn't have time to do any practice packing. They'll need the rest. Perhaps they'll be back next week.
So, after bursting into tears and contemplating a longish trip to the roof of Argos followed by a short one down, we went to the cinema via KFC. I could practically feel my arteries hardening when I ordered! I didn't feel too bad. I had Diet Coke with it. Anyway. It was lovely and I really wasn't in the mood to think about my waistline.
The one thing I won't do is give away any spoilers for the film. Seriously. None. Not even non-plot related ones. All I'll say is this. I read practically every single article, watched every single interview, watched all the trailers, all the preview scenes, and generally obsessed like a loony over the film before it was released. When I did finally get to see it, nothing that I'd previously seen or read prepared me for it. It was absolutely incredible. There were thrills, spills, action, adventure, drama, some real belly laughs and a couple of really quite emotional moments. There were so many geeky comic book references, I was absolutely delighted. I developed an instant girl crush on Black Widow. She's just... Agh. I want to be her when I grow up. Or even just one tenth as kick-ass.
The one character I really wasn't looking forward to seeing was The Incredible Hulk. Not because I don't like him - I mean, a geeky scientific genius who happens to be notoriously grumpy, what's not to like about that?! But Edward Norton is my favourite actor of the modern age (James Stewart is my actual favourite actor of all time), and he has been for about 15 years, and it isn't because he's rather easy on the eye, it's because even though I haven't always liked all the films he's been in (take my advice, never watch a film called Down in the Valley. You won't get those two hours back!), I've always believed completely in every performance he's ever given. He's just an exceptionally talented man. I absolutely adored his performance as Bruce Banner in the last incarnation of The Incredible Hulk, and I was so gutted that he wasn't going to reprise that role in the Avengers that I really wasn't interested in whatever anyone else thought they might have to bring to the role. My attitude was very narrow-minded and sort of, "Huh! Mark Ruffalo? Who is he anyway? He's no Norton! He'll be rubbish. What the hell are Marvel playing at?!" etc etc. Well. I well and truly had my words forced back down my throat during the film. He was an absolute revalation, and, I have to admit it, he was actually far better than Edward Norton.
(If anyone was wondering when I was going to mention him - hell yes, it seriously is ALL about Hawkeye... *gazes off distractedly*)
Seriously, if you've been looking forward to it, forget absolutely all of your preconceptions and think bigger. It's like no superhero film you've ever seen before. I'm going to completely go out on a limb here and say it's my favourite ever superhero film, and by that I do include my beloved Spider-Man 2. It's more than just a great superhero film, it's simply a great film. There's something in it for everyone. It's amazing.
So, join me next week, when I should have calmed down from the hysteria of the film, and the red mist from the ridiculous weigh-in should have lifted by then too, when I'm sure I'll find something else to talk about...!!
The Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes - finally Assembled. The sister and I went to the epicentre of small-town Lancashire, if not the universe (Preston), to see it. More on that later. I know I said I wouldn't turn into an hysterical wreck, but... to be honest, I had no other cause for celebration. There were plans for Southport but, despite me having such very high hopes for the day, not much turned out as planned.
I left work early so I could go to the 5:30p.m. weigh in and then go to Southport with Jo for a nice bit of a nosh-up at Nandos pre-film. But I hadn't reckoned on rush hour traffic on Golden Hill Lane in Leyland. My plans were ruined, so we decided that I'd get weighed early for the 7:30p.m. weigh in and we'd go to Preston instead and get KFC - it's the only savoury thing I've really craved and I haven't had it since last June when I went to see X-Men First Class. And as last week's plan of overindulging didn't go to plan, I thought I'd definitely be able to sin like mad with some well-deserved fast food.
I turned up at the Church Hall at about 7:20p.m. all full of hope - and was a bit peturbed to find that there was uproar in the group. Trouble at t'Mill, you might say. Everyone was angry. There was shouting, there was a lot of, "This is a [flipping] joke!" There was even a bit of, "That's it, I'm not wasting my time on this [nonsense] any more! Forget it! Shove your [blooming] weight loss regime!" It's a family-friendly blog, I had to censor the level of uproar!
I was, quite frankly, puzzled. Normally our group is very cheerful and happy and nobody's too grumpy at all. It's all really quite chilled out. Everyone usually has a bit of a giggle if they put weight on. Last night, however, was different. Quite, quite different. It looked like there was going to be a riot of some sort.
When I got to the weigh-in point, I asked the lady at the scales what was going on, and it turned out that Andrea the Consultant, in her infinite wisdom, had decided that the scales she's been using since time immemorial were weighing too light and so she'd bought new ones, which were weighing a bit heavy - so everyone had seemed to put weight on. The lady before me had apparently put 6 1/2 lbs on. There was fury. Real, proper anger.
I crossed my fingers, hoped for the best and got on the scales.
Apparently, despite the fact I'd done nothing differently during the past seven days and had eaten sensibly, done a bit of exercise and generally followed the same procedure that I have always done - I've put 3lbs on.
This is a nonsense. The red mist officially descended. I was livid. My blood pressure almost hit 200. I might've gone green, shot up in height and turned into an inarticulate rage monster. I very very nearly did. I ranted, I raved, I pointed out that we depend on the accuracy of the scales and we all spend good money each week on making sure that the equipment we need is there for us. Even if the scales themselves were inaccurate, the increments of weight loss should be reliable. Then I stormed out with some women who said they would never again darken the doorstep.
I just said I was going to the pictures and was quite noncommital about my proposed whereabouts for next week. I still don't know what to do.
Psychologically, she's done a really stupid thing to everyone. She has two classes and all members of both groups were furious with her - and I would feel sorry for her, but why would you do that to people? I mean, why? Seriously. But there's nothing we can do about it, she's not likely to change the scales back, and even if she did - next week wouldn't read right either because we've already been weighed on a different pair of scales. Basically - the thing not to do when you're a slimming consultant, I think, is to change from a pair of scales that allegdly 'weigh light' to a pair of scales that clearly 'weigh heavy' without giving anyone any prior warning. Just saying.
I know it only sounds like a little thing, but it isn't to me. I mean, I have worked really hard for this, and so's Jo with all her genius cooking, and so have all of you just by encouraging me to keep going and it really feels like the one person who shouldn't have pulled the rug from under me has done. It's like the goalposts have been moved on her whim, that whatever achievement I've celebrated I haven't been entitled to because the scales were wrong all along. I genuinely don't know what to think now. At this stage I'm really not sure if I want to go back to that group or not. It isn't just me she's let down, it's everybody. There will be a lot of grumpy fat people in Leyland today. More than usual.
Needless to say, I came home and immediately sent the llamas off for a well deserved break to Magaluf. Ricardo was very excited, Miguel decided he'd take fashion tips from Javier (the quiet one) and buy a bandana while he's out there, and Enrique had a panic attack because he didn't have time to do any practice packing. They'll need the rest. Perhaps they'll be back next week.
So, after bursting into tears and contemplating a longish trip to the roof of Argos followed by a short one down, we went to the cinema via KFC. I could practically feel my arteries hardening when I ordered! I didn't feel too bad. I had Diet Coke with it. Anyway. It was lovely and I really wasn't in the mood to think about my waistline.
The one thing I won't do is give away any spoilers for the film. Seriously. None. Not even non-plot related ones. All I'll say is this. I read practically every single article, watched every single interview, watched all the trailers, all the preview scenes, and generally obsessed like a loony over the film before it was released. When I did finally get to see it, nothing that I'd previously seen or read prepared me for it. It was absolutely incredible. There were thrills, spills, action, adventure, drama, some real belly laughs and a couple of really quite emotional moments. There were so many geeky comic book references, I was absolutely delighted. I developed an instant girl crush on Black Widow. She's just... Agh. I want to be her when I grow up. Or even just one tenth as kick-ass.
The one character I really wasn't looking forward to seeing was The Incredible Hulk. Not because I don't like him - I mean, a geeky scientific genius who happens to be notoriously grumpy, what's not to like about that?! But Edward Norton is my favourite actor of the modern age (James Stewart is my actual favourite actor of all time), and he has been for about 15 years, and it isn't because he's rather easy on the eye, it's because even though I haven't always liked all the films he's been in (take my advice, never watch a film called Down in the Valley. You won't get those two hours back!), I've always believed completely in every performance he's ever given. He's just an exceptionally talented man. I absolutely adored his performance as Bruce Banner in the last incarnation of The Incredible Hulk, and I was so gutted that he wasn't going to reprise that role in the Avengers that I really wasn't interested in whatever anyone else thought they might have to bring to the role. My attitude was very narrow-minded and sort of, "Huh! Mark Ruffalo? Who is he anyway? He's no Norton! He'll be rubbish. What the hell are Marvel playing at?!" etc etc. Well. I well and truly had my words forced back down my throat during the film. He was an absolute revalation, and, I have to admit it, he was actually far better than Edward Norton.
(If anyone was wondering when I was going to mention him - hell yes, it seriously is ALL about Hawkeye... *gazes off distractedly*)
Seriously, if you've been looking forward to it, forget absolutely all of your preconceptions and think bigger. It's like no superhero film you've ever seen before. I'm going to completely go out on a limb here and say it's my favourite ever superhero film, and by that I do include my beloved Spider-Man 2. It's more than just a great superhero film, it's simply a great film. There's something in it for everyone. It's amazing.
So, join me next week, when I should have calmed down from the hysteria of the film, and the red mist from the ridiculous weigh-in should have lifted by then too, when I'm sure I'll find something else to talk about...!!
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Easter Parade
So, the Easter weekend did screw up my opportunities to post any blog entries and as a result I may have wavered somewhat over the weekend in my healthy eating resolve. But never mind. Holidays are always peculiar times for everyone. I mean, how many of you have to keep reminding yourself that it's Tuesday?! Don't lie, now, I've done it about 100 times already this morning!!
On Thursday I went for the weigh in a little earlier than usual. My goal was to reach my Club 10 target by Easter and as I was only 2lbs away from it I thought I might've done it. I was pretty good during the week. I mean, there was Saturday, where I consumed my entire year's worth of calories in liquid form. But I really reined it back in over the rest of the week, even though I didn't do a great deal of exercise, and although I didn't really hold out a great deal of hope, I though that perhaps I might've just done it - or at least just got within a pound or so.
Luckily, I lost 2 1/2lbs. So, my Easter target was met, the llamas fiesta-ed like there was no tomorrow, and the weekend began in a very merry fashion indeed. It was all good in the proverbial hood.
The highlight of the weekend, definitely, was getting my sister to watch films. Normally our flat is a bit of a Sport Only Zone, and although I can put up with sport as much as the next person and I do try and get into it, we did seem to spend the week leading up to The Masters exclusively watching Sky Sports News, which did start to grate a little. So, on Friday, we watched, not one, but THREE films. They included Muppets Treasure Island (it's no Robert Newton version, I grant you - but it does have Kermit the Frog, which the original Disney version definitely couldn't boast), The Cutting Edge (yes, it's a chick flick - but the leading lady was the voice of Nala in The Lion King which instantly makes her okay by me, and it was a sport-based chick flick so it wasn't quite as awful as it could have been) and - and this was quite an achievement, I feel - Thor! I'd re-bought it that morning because I'd loaned it to Rachael a few months ago and was really starting to get terrible withdrawals from it. I mean, you can't go too far wrong with a Kenneth Branagh film. It's like he married superheroes and Shakespeare, two of my favourite things, to make an absolute epic. Loved it. It had action, humour, explosions, scary baddies, brilliant dialogue, Chris Hemsworth, Aled from the Chris Moyles Breakfast Show (in disguise as Loki) and a cameo from my new future ex-husband, Jeremy Renner (the trick with celebrity crushes is to aim ridiculously high but stay realistic!). I mean, what more do you want from a film?!
Jo actually liked it, in the main (she mostly liked the scene where Thor stalked around the kitchen in no shirt and then declared, "This mortal frame requires sustenance! Bring me food!") - but she was a bit peeved that there was no snog at the end between Thor and Natalie Portman. Well. I'm sure there'll be one in Thor 2. MAYBE even one in The Avengers - he has to get back to earth somehow and he might've taken time out to look her up. But there WAS one about 20 minutes from the end, I mean - isn't that enough PDA for one film?! Anyway, she should try being a Spider-Man fan. We had to wait until right at the end of Spidey 2 before Peter and Mary-Jane got together!!
The rest of the weekend was, however, completely taken up with sport. There was a lot of The Masters - and congratulations to Bubba Watson on a well-deserved win. We also watched a bit of rugby and saw Wigan batter St Helens in the Good Friday fixture - but no sporting achievement was as well-received in Wainwright Mansions as Everton walloping Sunderland 4-0 at Goodison yesterday. Fabulous news. Just hope we can keep it up for when we face Liverpool at Wembley on Saturday for the FA Cup Semi-Final. *worries*.
So now, back to work. For as long as that lasts, anyway. I've decided to look for something else. It's been two years now and to be honest I really need to work full-time, which is something I can't do here. It's a lot of upheaval, but with so many other things changing this year, perhaps a new job really is the way forward. Who knows. I mean, obviously, when Adam and I win the BBC sitcom competition, all our worries will be over - but until then I suppose boring secretary jobs will have to do!!
Join me again on Friday, when I'll be able to give you the lowdown on what happens at the weigh-in on Thursday. I need to lose 3 1/2 lbs to get my next half-stone award, which I doubt will happen, but I might at least get halfway there...!!
On Thursday I went for the weigh in a little earlier than usual. My goal was to reach my Club 10 target by Easter and as I was only 2lbs away from it I thought I might've done it. I was pretty good during the week. I mean, there was Saturday, where I consumed my entire year's worth of calories in liquid form. But I really reined it back in over the rest of the week, even though I didn't do a great deal of exercise, and although I didn't really hold out a great deal of hope, I though that perhaps I might've just done it - or at least just got within a pound or so.
Luckily, I lost 2 1/2lbs. So, my Easter target was met, the llamas fiesta-ed like there was no tomorrow, and the weekend began in a very merry fashion indeed. It was all good in the proverbial hood.
The highlight of the weekend, definitely, was getting my sister to watch films. Normally our flat is a bit of a Sport Only Zone, and although I can put up with sport as much as the next person and I do try and get into it, we did seem to spend the week leading up to The Masters exclusively watching Sky Sports News, which did start to grate a little. So, on Friday, we watched, not one, but THREE films. They included Muppets Treasure Island (it's no Robert Newton version, I grant you - but it does have Kermit the Frog, which the original Disney version definitely couldn't boast), The Cutting Edge (yes, it's a chick flick - but the leading lady was the voice of Nala in The Lion King which instantly makes her okay by me, and it was a sport-based chick flick so it wasn't quite as awful as it could have been) and - and this was quite an achievement, I feel - Thor! I'd re-bought it that morning because I'd loaned it to Rachael a few months ago and was really starting to get terrible withdrawals from it. I mean, you can't go too far wrong with a Kenneth Branagh film. It's like he married superheroes and Shakespeare, two of my favourite things, to make an absolute epic. Loved it. It had action, humour, explosions, scary baddies, brilliant dialogue, Chris Hemsworth, Aled from the Chris Moyles Breakfast Show (in disguise as Loki) and a cameo from my new future ex-husband, Jeremy Renner (the trick with celebrity crushes is to aim ridiculously high but stay realistic!). I mean, what more do you want from a film?!
Jo actually liked it, in the main (she mostly liked the scene where Thor stalked around the kitchen in no shirt and then declared, "This mortal frame requires sustenance! Bring me food!") - but she was a bit peeved that there was no snog at the end between Thor and Natalie Portman. Well. I'm sure there'll be one in Thor 2. MAYBE even one in The Avengers - he has to get back to earth somehow and he might've taken time out to look her up. But there WAS one about 20 minutes from the end, I mean - isn't that enough PDA for one film?! Anyway, she should try being a Spider-Man fan. We had to wait until right at the end of Spidey 2 before Peter and Mary-Jane got together!!
The rest of the weekend was, however, completely taken up with sport. There was a lot of The Masters - and congratulations to Bubba Watson on a well-deserved win. We also watched a bit of rugby and saw Wigan batter St Helens in the Good Friday fixture - but no sporting achievement was as well-received in Wainwright Mansions as Everton walloping Sunderland 4-0 at Goodison yesterday. Fabulous news. Just hope we can keep it up for when we face Liverpool at Wembley on Saturday for the FA Cup Semi-Final. *worries*.
So now, back to work. For as long as that lasts, anyway. I've decided to look for something else. It's been two years now and to be honest I really need to work full-time, which is something I can't do here. It's a lot of upheaval, but with so many other things changing this year, perhaps a new job really is the way forward. Who knows. I mean, obviously, when Adam and I win the BBC sitcom competition, all our worries will be over - but until then I suppose boring secretary jobs will have to do!!
Join me again on Friday, when I'll be able to give you the lowdown on what happens at the weigh-in on Thursday. I need to lose 3 1/2 lbs to get my next half-stone award, which I doubt will happen, but I might at least get halfway there...!!
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
Assemble!
Oh, you don't even know - you can't possibly have any idea exactly how excited I am about the forthcoming Avengers film. You just can't. 52 sleeps till it's out at the pictures! I do love this time of year, when all the buzz about the forthcoming summer films first starts. I know I'm mostly a retro vintage silver screen type girl (my favourite film of all time is City Lights by Charlie Chaplin. Watch it. You'll never regret it!), but I'm a sucker for a film containing big explosions, reeeeally evil baddies and slightly anti-heroic good guys, preferably ones with superpowers.
I'll try and calm down in order to blog like a human being rather than, if I really did just type out my train of thought, simply typing out 100,000 lines of "OMFG!" Acronyms should be used sparingly, after all. There's never really much to say of a Wednesday, truth be told - it's not like anyone's particularly interested in how much I hate my job at the moment (lots, incidentally) and how much I'm looking forward to Masterchef tonight (SQUEEE!). I suppose, then, the Wednesday blog is my most self-indulgent update of the week - which is likely why I always feel so apologetic about them!!
I have no news on the writing front. I'm actually blocked on everything. Which is rubbish. I have no proper computer access and the deadline for the competition is in two weeks. I just wish everything would come to me in a dream (rather than the weird psycho killer dream I had last night which just scared me into consciousness every time I nodded off) and then I could have a day off to write and everything would be peachy. Ho hum. The book is on the back burner for now and probably will stay there until late spring/early summer, but I did have another read of it and I surprised myself with how much I didn't hate it.
I do have one exciting thing to mention on the weight loss front. Okay, you may not find it exciting, but I did allow myself a little whoop of joy. I own a black, woollen coat that I inherited from my late cousin, which is of a peculiar size - it says 18 but I have a feeling the top of it is much bigger than that as I've been able to squeeze into it for some time and I'm definitely not that size yet. Anyway, for a considerable time I could only fasten two of the four buttons, and then for about a month I've been able to fasten three. Imagine my excitement, if you will, when I actually fastened all four buttons yesterday!! We're talking actual progress now, folks. Real, visible, in-yer-face progress. I'm shrinking before my very eyes. Well. Not quite, obviously, because that'd be impossible. But you know what I mean.
For the first time since January, then, I'm feeling slightly confident about tomorrow. Naturally, I understand that losing 5lbs every week is impossible, impractical and not particularly healthy. But I know I've been even more motivated than usual, I'm getting my walk on every day - and even I can see that I'm getting littler, so hopefully all of that positivity will be reflected in the scales. Really hope so, anyway.
Join me again on Friday, when hopefully you'll meet more of my llamas if I have a good result tomorrow, and I'll have a bit of a look forward to an exciting weekend. Hope you're all having a fabulous week - and if you get chance, watch the trailer to the new Avengers film. Two words. AWE. SOME. (winking smiley)
I'll try and calm down in order to blog like a human being rather than, if I really did just type out my train of thought, simply typing out 100,000 lines of "OMFG!" Acronyms should be used sparingly, after all. There's never really much to say of a Wednesday, truth be told - it's not like anyone's particularly interested in how much I hate my job at the moment (lots, incidentally) and how much I'm looking forward to Masterchef tonight (SQUEEE!). I suppose, then, the Wednesday blog is my most self-indulgent update of the week - which is likely why I always feel so apologetic about them!!
I have no news on the writing front. I'm actually blocked on everything. Which is rubbish. I have no proper computer access and the deadline for the competition is in two weeks. I just wish everything would come to me in a dream (rather than the weird psycho killer dream I had last night which just scared me into consciousness every time I nodded off) and then I could have a day off to write and everything would be peachy. Ho hum. The book is on the back burner for now and probably will stay there until late spring/early summer, but I did have another read of it and I surprised myself with how much I didn't hate it.
I do have one exciting thing to mention on the weight loss front. Okay, you may not find it exciting, but I did allow myself a little whoop of joy. I own a black, woollen coat that I inherited from my late cousin, which is of a peculiar size - it says 18 but I have a feeling the top of it is much bigger than that as I've been able to squeeze into it for some time and I'm definitely not that size yet. Anyway, for a considerable time I could only fasten two of the four buttons, and then for about a month I've been able to fasten three. Imagine my excitement, if you will, when I actually fastened all four buttons yesterday!! We're talking actual progress now, folks. Real, visible, in-yer-face progress. I'm shrinking before my very eyes. Well. Not quite, obviously, because that'd be impossible. But you know what I mean.
For the first time since January, then, I'm feeling slightly confident about tomorrow. Naturally, I understand that losing 5lbs every week is impossible, impractical and not particularly healthy. But I know I've been even more motivated than usual, I'm getting my walk on every day - and even I can see that I'm getting littler, so hopefully all of that positivity will be reflected in the scales. Really hope so, anyway.
Join me again on Friday, when hopefully you'll meet more of my llamas if I have a good result tomorrow, and I'll have a bit of a look forward to an exciting weekend. Hope you're all having a fabulous week - and if you get chance, watch the trailer to the new Avengers film. Two words. AWE. SOME. (winking smiley)
Monday, 27 February 2012
Carry On Conjuring
Happy Monday, everyone!! I know, I know - what's so happy about it?! Well, I must be honest, on this particular Monday, I can't help but agree with you. However, as with so much in life, the best way to get through it is to just fake it till you make it.
Speaking of double entendres, I went to see Pete Firman on Friday! Judging from the overwhelming response from Facebook, nobody has a clue who he is. What on earth have you all been doing on Saturday nights this year?! He's a magician and a stand-up comedian all in the same human. He was on BBC1's The Magicians. What do you mean, you didn't see it?! *facepalm* These were the men who saved people with no social life from having to endure the embarrassment that is Take Me Out on the other side!
Anyway. Mr Firman has just started a nationwide tour of his conjuring, trickery and general tight-suitedness. If he's coming to your town, go and see him. You won't regret it, I promise. You'll embarrass yourself by how impressed you are. Anyone who says they aren't impressed by magic tricks is, frankly, a liar.
As I may have mentioned previously in this blog, I have a theory that magicians are life's real superheroes. I mean, I don't think Pete can websling or has retractable claws of Adamantium or anything like that. Although he would be called The Firmanator if he was a superhero, this is already a given. But magicians can do impossible-looking things that normal human beings can't do. Even if the impossible is just a clever trick that anyone can learn - I never want to be spoiled. I like the idea of the impossible being done before my eyes. I would hate to ever feel as though I was too cool or too clever to believe in magic.
I thought that, being sat on the front row in such a tiny little room, it would be easy to see how the tricks were done or that the whole effect wouldn't be nearly as good as if I'd been a few rows back. But honestly, I was mesmerised for the entire set. His first trick was, he told us, all about the art of penetration. Before anyone gets ahead of themselves - I nearly choked on my wine - he made a handkerchief pass through a microphone stand. He purposely fluffed it and basically just avoided doing it the first couple of times, but when he did it (and luckily he repeated it a couple of times) I honestly thought my eyes were playing tricks on me! It only sounds like a little trick but it's very effective!
The plethora of innuendos and the amazing tricks just kept coming in a sort of a tirade. It was fabulous. After half an hour or so of one trick and innuendo after another, he suddenly stopped and introduced a stand-up comic to the stage named Chris Stokes. Nobody was expecting it but what a lovely surprise! He was hilarious. I had face-ache from laughing so much. I especially loved his story about owning a Thunderbirds lunchbox when he was little and, after being beaten up by some bullies in school, he actually attempted to call International Rescue. I don't think I'd ever been so disappointed when he said that they didn't turn up. That isn't the sort of apathetic, unhelpful attitude I expected from Jeff and the boys, frankly. Perhaps it was Alan's turn on duty as Space Monitor that month?? I'm absolutely convinced that Chris will be *huge*, he's just ungodly funny - and he seems like a really nice chap as well. He's also on tour at the moment, and again, if you get chance to see him, you won't regret it. It was a lovely unexpected treat for us - I'd even go and see him on purpose!!!
After a brief interval, Pete came back. Trick after trick followed, some I remembered from The Magicians, some I didn't - including a trick called The Magic Table. I think the table was actually enchanted. It just floated around the stage with the grace and agility of... well... a floating table.
I think it's only fair at this point that I talk about Andy, the Volunteer from Hell. God love him. He seemed like a nice enough bloke but I think he'd had one or six too many during the interval and was a little wobbly on his feet... It wasn't just a one-trick-and-off thing, either, he was on stage for almost the rest of the night. Bless Pete, the cheery little magical imp, he trooped on with the steely determination of a man whose only priority had turned into making sure that no tricks went wrong. I was just glad he didn't choose me, I'm infinitely more gormless, especially on no booze! The reason for keeping Andy up there for so long was that Pete's first trick involved a £20 note that he'd extracted from Andy's wallet - which he promptly set on fire!! Andy then hung around onstage, assisting on the next five or six tricks while Pete tried to distract him from the fact he'd just set fire to his taxi fare home.
I won't spoil the final trick. It was too special. Everyone went wild with adulation. I will never in a gazillion years figure that out. I have a feeling that even if Pete sat me down and explained how the trick works in minute detail, I still wouldn't get it. It completely blew my mind.
Can't speak highly enough of the show, it was a fabulous night's entertainment. It was funny, it was exciting - it was a bit dramatic - and it was completely magical. I absolutely loved it. Don't think it'll be the last time I go to see him, either.
Although next time, I'll remember to bring my voice and not be so starstruck. It's never ever happened to me before. I mean, seriously. Never. Not even when I met 3/4 of The Monkees. But I actually forgot my name for a moment. How old am I?!! Still, in my desperate attempt to not look like a giant next to him - not that he's unusually diminutive, I just happen to be an inch or so taller than him - I did manage to get a good cuddle for a photo. He's got the comfiest shoulders of any non-drummer I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. True story. Next time I'll speak. Possibly. Anyway, the point is - my tip for not looking like an absolute idiot when meeting anyone famous is definitely not "just silently grab them for a cuddle and then skip off into the night like some sort of planet-shaped fairy".
Nothing else worth mentioning happened at the weekend, although I did watch all three Spider-Man films yesterday, which was lovely. Andrew Garfield has some pretty mighty shoes to fill - for me, Tobey Maguire IS Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He played him perfectly - painfully nerdy, constantly at the brink of tears, zero people skills, a 60,000 word vocabulary and a wonderful innocence about him. I think they're going to try and make Peter a bit sexy in this new Spider-Man, and it simply won't work, I tell you!!!
Think I've bored you all enough, now. Join me on Wednesday, I'll give you a brief update on how the weight-loss is going and have a look forward to my eighth weigh-in!! Hope the llamas have recovered from last Friday's blog...!!
Speaking of double entendres, I went to see Pete Firman on Friday! Judging from the overwhelming response from Facebook, nobody has a clue who he is. What on earth have you all been doing on Saturday nights this year?! He's a magician and a stand-up comedian all in the same human. He was on BBC1's The Magicians. What do you mean, you didn't see it?! *facepalm* These were the men who saved people with no social life from having to endure the embarrassment that is Take Me Out on the other side!
Anyway. Mr Firman has just started a nationwide tour of his conjuring, trickery and general tight-suitedness. If he's coming to your town, go and see him. You won't regret it, I promise. You'll embarrass yourself by how impressed you are. Anyone who says they aren't impressed by magic tricks is, frankly, a liar.
As I may have mentioned previously in this blog, I have a theory that magicians are life's real superheroes. I mean, I don't think Pete can websling or has retractable claws of Adamantium or anything like that. Although he would be called The Firmanator if he was a superhero, this is already a given. But magicians can do impossible-looking things that normal human beings can't do. Even if the impossible is just a clever trick that anyone can learn - I never want to be spoiled. I like the idea of the impossible being done before my eyes. I would hate to ever feel as though I was too cool or too clever to believe in magic.
I thought that, being sat on the front row in such a tiny little room, it would be easy to see how the tricks were done or that the whole effect wouldn't be nearly as good as if I'd been a few rows back. But honestly, I was mesmerised for the entire set. His first trick was, he told us, all about the art of penetration. Before anyone gets ahead of themselves - I nearly choked on my wine - he made a handkerchief pass through a microphone stand. He purposely fluffed it and basically just avoided doing it the first couple of times, but when he did it (and luckily he repeated it a couple of times) I honestly thought my eyes were playing tricks on me! It only sounds like a little trick but it's very effective!
The plethora of innuendos and the amazing tricks just kept coming in a sort of a tirade. It was fabulous. After half an hour or so of one trick and innuendo after another, he suddenly stopped and introduced a stand-up comic to the stage named Chris Stokes. Nobody was expecting it but what a lovely surprise! He was hilarious. I had face-ache from laughing so much. I especially loved his story about owning a Thunderbirds lunchbox when he was little and, after being beaten up by some bullies in school, he actually attempted to call International Rescue. I don't think I'd ever been so disappointed when he said that they didn't turn up. That isn't the sort of apathetic, unhelpful attitude I expected from Jeff and the boys, frankly. Perhaps it was Alan's turn on duty as Space Monitor that month?? I'm absolutely convinced that Chris will be *huge*, he's just ungodly funny - and he seems like a really nice chap as well. He's also on tour at the moment, and again, if you get chance to see him, you won't regret it. It was a lovely unexpected treat for us - I'd even go and see him on purpose!!!
After a brief interval, Pete came back. Trick after trick followed, some I remembered from The Magicians, some I didn't - including a trick called The Magic Table. I think the table was actually enchanted. It just floated around the stage with the grace and agility of... well... a floating table.
I think it's only fair at this point that I talk about Andy, the Volunteer from Hell. God love him. He seemed like a nice enough bloke but I think he'd had one or six too many during the interval and was a little wobbly on his feet... It wasn't just a one-trick-and-off thing, either, he was on stage for almost the rest of the night. Bless Pete, the cheery little magical imp, he trooped on with the steely determination of a man whose only priority had turned into making sure that no tricks went wrong. I was just glad he didn't choose me, I'm infinitely more gormless, especially on no booze! The reason for keeping Andy up there for so long was that Pete's first trick involved a £20 note that he'd extracted from Andy's wallet - which he promptly set on fire!! Andy then hung around onstage, assisting on the next five or six tricks while Pete tried to distract him from the fact he'd just set fire to his taxi fare home.
I won't spoil the final trick. It was too special. Everyone went wild with adulation. I will never in a gazillion years figure that out. I have a feeling that even if Pete sat me down and explained how the trick works in minute detail, I still wouldn't get it. It completely blew my mind.
Can't speak highly enough of the show, it was a fabulous night's entertainment. It was funny, it was exciting - it was a bit dramatic - and it was completely magical. I absolutely loved it. Don't think it'll be the last time I go to see him, either.
Although next time, I'll remember to bring my voice and not be so starstruck. It's never ever happened to me before. I mean, seriously. Never. Not even when I met 3/4 of The Monkees. But I actually forgot my name for a moment. How old am I?!! Still, in my desperate attempt to not look like a giant next to him - not that he's unusually diminutive, I just happen to be an inch or so taller than him - I did manage to get a good cuddle for a photo. He's got the comfiest shoulders of any non-drummer I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. True story. Next time I'll speak. Possibly. Anyway, the point is - my tip for not looking like an absolute idiot when meeting anyone famous is definitely not "just silently grab them for a cuddle and then skip off into the night like some sort of planet-shaped fairy".
Nothing else worth mentioning happened at the weekend, although I did watch all three Spider-Man films yesterday, which was lovely. Andrew Garfield has some pretty mighty shoes to fill - for me, Tobey Maguire IS Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He played him perfectly - painfully nerdy, constantly at the brink of tears, zero people skills, a 60,000 word vocabulary and a wonderful innocence about him. I think they're going to try and make Peter a bit sexy in this new Spider-Man, and it simply won't work, I tell you!!!
Think I've bored you all enough, now. Join me on Wednesday, I'll give you a brief update on how the weight-loss is going and have a look forward to my eighth weigh-in!! Hope the llamas have recovered from last Friday's blog...!!
Monday, 16 January 2012
"Not now, Zsa Zsa..."
Although SpevLand has seen a few high-tension dramas over the last two days, by and large I had a rather pleasant weekend. I hope you did, too - and may I take this opportunity to wish all of you a very happy Monday!
It all started on Friday, when, I managed to, without breaking the new eating regime in any way, have a Chinese takeaway AND a double Bacardi and Coke Zero for my tea!! I don't even know how that works, but I'm really glad that it does! I bet you'd not get to have takeaway AND booze with no guilt on Weight Watchers - and you *definitely* wouldn't get it on LighterLife!! I made a point of texting this exciting news to my namesake, Auntie Heather, who is my Diet Lama - like the Dalai Lama but prettier and with nicer shoes - she's full of fabulously encouraging words of wisdom to keep me going on this mission. She's also on Slimming World and looks more slender and gorgeous every time I see her!!
Honestly, if this is the way it's going to be from now on - dieting rocks!!
On Saturday I went clothes shopping. Well. Obviously, I didn't buy any clothes at all, I merely escorted my pal Helena while she bought lovely clothes and stuff for her impending Australian Adventures, and I must say I think I managed to help her spend her money very wisely. She will thank me for those canvas-soled platform shoes when she's partying like a celeb in Melbourne!! If you have never met Helena, well - that's your luck out. Not only is she one of my most cherished of pals, she's absolutely stunning. I don't just say this in a 'you have to say your friends are pretty because they're your friends' kind of way. It's true. She looks like a little Bohemian pixie princess, all cheeky smiles, twinkling green eyes and skipping joyfully through life, sprinkling magic and happiness upon all those she meets. And, good grief, that girl knows how to shop!!
Normally, the very thought of clothes shopping would make me break out into a cold sweat and run to the nearest Aldi in order to buy (and then devour) approximately my entire body weight in scrummy European chocolate. If you stuck me in a CD/DVD shop and left me there, I would be totally at home. You could quite feasibly even let me loose in a cosmetic shop with a huge perfume section and I wouldn't really feel too out of place. Going into clothing shops? That is an activity strictly for average sized people. In this modern age of the so-called 'obesity pandemic' I find this a little unfair, but it's obviously a good way to con the larger person into trying to shrink a bit.
Fashion simply does not exist for women who are larger than a size 18 (I'm unaware of the problems for the larger-circumferenced male, but I'm sure there are similar issues). In fact, you're still struggling at a size 18, which is why I'm aiming for a 14. My goal is basically to go into a clothes shop and not buy anything because a) I can't afford to or b) I don't like anything, rather than simply walk past said shop snarling in anger at the fact I will never wear be thin enough to wear pretty clothes. It is, of course, possible to buy clothes for the larger figure, but they're all glorified sacks. I'm not some sort of hippy - I have no desire to wear a kaftan. I'm a self-confessed Ticket - in that my heart will always belong to Modernism but I prefer to dress like a beat girl. The other thing that winds me up about so-called plus size 'fashion' is that all the labels have ridiculously patronising names to them, like 'Inspire' or 'True' or... something. Why is this?! Just put the size in the collar (in very small writing) and leave it at that. As if fat people don't feel segregated enough in society as it is, clothing manufacturers seem to think we need to be outcast even further by only having one tiny segment of the shop (oh, the bitter irony!) at the far left corner to find something as non-ugly as possible; and for that segment to be called something that they think is a bit empowering!! Just call it "Fat Clothes" or "Non-Maternity" or "Rent-a-Tent" and be done with it!!
Anyway, Helena is very nearly as excited as I am at the prospect of me eventually looking like a person rather than a Weeble - so we decided that we would find clothes for her and also look for the type of clothes that I might wear when that longed-for time of 'Thinner' finally arrives. Gosh, there was so much 60s-style clothing out there - it was all very exciting. We both fell in love with one yellow dress that was too tiny for either of us. We got very excited about purple shift dresses and red jeans with white ruffly shirts - and I very nearly almost took a dress home with me. It was a red shift dress with a little pleat at the front, a red bow in the middle and a Peter Pan collar. It may as well have been labelled "Spev".
This time next year, I shall go into a shop, look at a dress like that, and take it home, knowing that it will fit me right away and that I don't have to spend months gazing at it longingly and wishing myself thin.
The thing that really made my day, though, was going into a cosmetic shop and finding Wonder Woman makeup. Yes. That's right. Superhero makeup. For women. That's what I'm talking about. It's like MAC Cosmetics know me. They've just brought out a Miss Piggy range too. Superheroes, Muppets and makeup. Does life get any more sublime?!
Look at me, getting all girly over lippy. Well, it's about time, I guess...!
Join me on Wednesday, when I might update about the book. I mean, I might not, like. Irene's gone back to the Bahamas and I'm left with a lovestruck private investigator, a decapitated body with no fingertips and a member of CID who could murder a pint. It's a very real problem.
It all started on Friday, when, I managed to, without breaking the new eating regime in any way, have a Chinese takeaway AND a double Bacardi and Coke Zero for my tea!! I don't even know how that works, but I'm really glad that it does! I bet you'd not get to have takeaway AND booze with no guilt on Weight Watchers - and you *definitely* wouldn't get it on LighterLife!! I made a point of texting this exciting news to my namesake, Auntie Heather, who is my Diet Lama - like the Dalai Lama but prettier and with nicer shoes - she's full of fabulously encouraging words of wisdom to keep me going on this mission. She's also on Slimming World and looks more slender and gorgeous every time I see her!!
Honestly, if this is the way it's going to be from now on - dieting rocks!!
On Saturday I went clothes shopping. Well. Obviously, I didn't buy any clothes at all, I merely escorted my pal Helena while she bought lovely clothes and stuff for her impending Australian Adventures, and I must say I think I managed to help her spend her money very wisely. She will thank me for those canvas-soled platform shoes when she's partying like a celeb in Melbourne!! If you have never met Helena, well - that's your luck out. Not only is she one of my most cherished of pals, she's absolutely stunning. I don't just say this in a 'you have to say your friends are pretty because they're your friends' kind of way. It's true. She looks like a little Bohemian pixie princess, all cheeky smiles, twinkling green eyes and skipping joyfully through life, sprinkling magic and happiness upon all those she meets. And, good grief, that girl knows how to shop!!
Normally, the very thought of clothes shopping would make me break out into a cold sweat and run to the nearest Aldi in order to buy (and then devour) approximately my entire body weight in scrummy European chocolate. If you stuck me in a CD/DVD shop and left me there, I would be totally at home. You could quite feasibly even let me loose in a cosmetic shop with a huge perfume section and I wouldn't really feel too out of place. Going into clothing shops? That is an activity strictly for average sized people. In this modern age of the so-called 'obesity pandemic' I find this a little unfair, but it's obviously a good way to con the larger person into trying to shrink a bit.
Fashion simply does not exist for women who are larger than a size 18 (I'm unaware of the problems for the larger-circumferenced male, but I'm sure there are similar issues). In fact, you're still struggling at a size 18, which is why I'm aiming for a 14. My goal is basically to go into a clothes shop and not buy anything because a) I can't afford to or b) I don't like anything, rather than simply walk past said shop snarling in anger at the fact I will never wear be thin enough to wear pretty clothes. It is, of course, possible to buy clothes for the larger figure, but they're all glorified sacks. I'm not some sort of hippy - I have no desire to wear a kaftan. I'm a self-confessed Ticket - in that my heart will always belong to Modernism but I prefer to dress like a beat girl. The other thing that winds me up about so-called plus size 'fashion' is that all the labels have ridiculously patronising names to them, like 'Inspire' or 'True' or... something. Why is this?! Just put the size in the collar (in very small writing) and leave it at that. As if fat people don't feel segregated enough in society as it is, clothing manufacturers seem to think we need to be outcast even further by only having one tiny segment of the shop (oh, the bitter irony!) at the far left corner to find something as non-ugly as possible; and for that segment to be called something that they think is a bit empowering!! Just call it "Fat Clothes" or "Non-Maternity" or "Rent-a-Tent" and be done with it!!
Anyway, Helena is very nearly as excited as I am at the prospect of me eventually looking like a person rather than a Weeble - so we decided that we would find clothes for her and also look for the type of clothes that I might wear when that longed-for time of 'Thinner' finally arrives. Gosh, there was so much 60s-style clothing out there - it was all very exciting. We both fell in love with one yellow dress that was too tiny for either of us. We got very excited about purple shift dresses and red jeans with white ruffly shirts - and I very nearly almost took a dress home with me. It was a red shift dress with a little pleat at the front, a red bow in the middle and a Peter Pan collar. It may as well have been labelled "Spev".
This time next year, I shall go into a shop, look at a dress like that, and take it home, knowing that it will fit me right away and that I don't have to spend months gazing at it longingly and wishing myself thin.
The thing that really made my day, though, was going into a cosmetic shop and finding Wonder Woman makeup. Yes. That's right. Superhero makeup. For women. That's what I'm talking about. It's like MAC Cosmetics know me. They've just brought out a Miss Piggy range too. Superheroes, Muppets and makeup. Does life get any more sublime?!
Look at me, getting all girly over lippy. Well, it's about time, I guess...!
Join me on Wednesday, when I might update about the book. I mean, I might not, like. Irene's gone back to the Bahamas and I'm left with a lovestruck private investigator, a decapitated body with no fingertips and a member of CID who could murder a pint. It's a very real problem.
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