Here We Go, Then...

It's been ages since I had a blog.  I know, I know, I need to get more fibre in my diet.

That's kind of why I've started this blog.  Erm.  Nothing to do with the internal workings of my digestive system, you understand.  Oh, no.  Allow me to elucidate (me and my hobbies...!). 

It's 2012.  Which is ridiculous.  Last time I checked it was 2002 and I was an 18 year old brat with an attitude that would make Kevin the Teenager wince.  Somehow, without me noticing, ten years have slipped by and I am now staring the big Three-Oh right in the face.  In less than eighteen months, I will be thirty.  I admit to being a touch unnerved freaked out *completely petrified* by this fact.  What happened to the last decade?!  Was it so boring and inconsequential that I failed to realise how quickly time has passed me by?!

You probably aren't as big a fan of Christian Slater as I was when I was 14.  But in one of his films, Kuffs, there is a very poignant line:  "You're 21 years old.  30 comes along awful fast."  When you're 14 that sounds like an absolute nonsense.  Now that I'm twice that age I can completely testify to the truth in that statement.

There is a point.  I will get to it.

I don't really hold a great deal of store by the concept of the New Year Resolution, but I did promise myself two things this year.  Those two things are thus:

1. I will not be a morbidly obese 30-year-old.
2. I will do something positive and constructive with regard to pursuing my dream of having a book published.

Here then (at last!) are the reasons for me starting up this blog.  Firstly, I would like to make a diary of my progress through the year with regard to losing some serious weight.  I've decided to join Slimming World.  Heaven only knows how much I weigh so I don't know how many stones I want to lose, but I know I definitely want to lose five dress sizes.  I have no desire to look like a skeleton with hair.  My aim is to have curves rather than to be a continuous curve, i.e. a sphere with feet. 

I paint such a picture, don't I?!

I've made a start today.  I had breakfast and everything.  My plan is, not necessarily to document what I've eaten (although I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that I made epic salad boxes for myself and my big sister this morning!  I cannot wait till lunchtime!), but to just keep a track of how things are going.  It's all very well and good being full of the best of intentions on 3rd January, but if I get a bit stressed out and fancy trying to consume my body weight in chocolate by, say 26th February, I have a feeling it might be a bit of a healthier outlet to write a big rant rather than nosh for England and then feel rubbishy.  Twelve months.  Five dress sizes.  Not an impossible ask.  If Dawn French can drop six stone, so can I.  I'm quite sure I have all that and then some to get rid of!

My second reason for starting a blog is that I've started writing my first novel.  It's a spy romp/murder mystery type thing, provisionally called The Phantom Winger.  Quite a few up and coming novelists have blogs about their books and things, so I thought I'd give it a go.  Perhaps it will be a good idea, if I have the dreaded Writer's Block, to write a blog entry, rather than writing nothing at all and being annoyed at myself for not being dedicated enough.  I may occasionally share excerpts and ideas from my story, just so you all know how it's coming along - any feedback at all will be gratefully received.

My main character is an ex-copper turned private investigator named Alex Charnley.  He's 30 years old, is 5'8" and has red hair (think more Andre Villas-Boas than Chris Evans, though).  He lives in Deepdale and supports Preston North End.  He has a four-year-old son named Harry who lives with his ex-wife, Helen (aka Lady Deathstrike/Medusa/Cruella de Vil/whichever name comes to Alex's mind at the time of insult) and her idiot boyfriend, Scott, who is, in Alex's words, "a sort of human version of Action Man - all rippling muscles, perfect hair and no genitalia."  He gets caught up in a police investigation surrounding the mysterious murder of a man who is found decapitated in the Preston docklands.  I'm quite excited about just getting on and writing it. 

That's it for now, I reckon.  I've bored you enough.  The majority of my blog entries will likely be similarly lengthy and rambly.  My advice is to only start reading once you're settled down with a cup of tea and a biscuit!!