Make 'Em Laugh

So anyway, guess what I found out today?  I'm not Synning as much as I thought I was!!  Apparently, a 70ml double measure of [insert favourite spirit here] [snigger at use of the word 'insert'] [and again!] is 8 Syns.  Whereas I have unwittingly only been having 45ml and thinking *that* was a double!! This is glorious news.  I can either have *more* Bacardi and Coke Zero before bed, or I can have more of other things instead!!  Fabulous.  As soon as I work out Syns properly, I think I'm really going to start having a damn good time on this new way of eating. 

Anyway, enough of all that.  I'm taking a break from the endless piles of pasta, rice, vegetables, lean meat and fish to get back into the real world.  Well, of course, not the real world - my real imaginary world of The Phantom Winger.

Allow me to bore you senseless as I discuss the idea of planning a story - and how I have discovered that you can plan as much as you chuffing well like; but when it comes to actually writing the damn thing, you will invariably write the exact opposite.

I had intended to try and make it an action/drama piece with a flavour of comedy but it turns out that I'm writing more of a comedy piece with a flavour of action/drama.  I personally have no qualms with this - although I totally realise that by doing so I have made the job infinitely more difficult.  Let me explain.

Although, by and large, the inhabitants of the Earth are always quite ready for a good laugh - if you analyse it, people do seem to be a bit scared of comedy.  This is because comedy is actually blasted difficult to write.  Everyone thinks it's dead easy to make people laugh, but it really isn't.  It isn't just about the right situation, it's about choosing the right combination of the right words in the right situation.  You either get it spot on, or you fail.  There's no in-between level of mild amusement, or any "that was very nearly funny - okay, we'll give you a chance" attitude.  If it isn't funny, then it has failed completely and nobody is interested.  That's why comedy writers are usually so self-deprecating, paranoid and prone to huge bouts of depression.  Being funny is truly no laughing matter. 

Basically - we can't all be geniuseseses like Charlie Chaplin, who maintained that all he needed for a good comedy was "a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."  I mean, it helps if you're naturally a funny person, but if you make people laugh without really thinking about it and then suddenly find yourself sat in front of a computer screen with the basic premise of 'Write Something Funny', then it's a completely different kettle of fish altogether.

Which brings me nicely back to the story and a request for a bit of feedback if you don't mind.  I was all set to have a great boy/girl partnership of Alex Charnley, the cheeky Northern chappie, and Natasha Petrovna, the deadly teenage Russian spy.  It would totally have worked.  But then DC Jon Bailey (aka Tiny) came along and basically just wrote himself - and, oh, EVERYONE loves a bromance!!  Look at the great bromances through the ages.  Illya Kuryakin and Napoleon Solo, Jeff Randall and Marty Hopkirk, Jack Regan and George Carter, Tony DiNozzo and Timothy McGee, Morse and Lewis (the lovely John Thaw has had quite a few bromances in his time, hasn't he?!), Ant and Dec, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, Chandler and Joey, Barnaby and Troy, Batman and Robin, Richard Barrett and Craig Stirling - although, there again, they did have Sharron Macready to balance their bromance out...  That's a good point.  Also, look at John Steed and Emma Peel/Cathy Gale/Tara King.  The boy/girl partnership could work, quite feasibly.  I suppose it has more to do with the way you write the woman rather than the existing bromance betwen the men.

Natasha could still work her way in.  My plans don't necessarily have to change.  However, if I do stick to my original plan and bring her in, do you think that will bring in too many main characters?  We were introduced to two in the Prologue and then another two main characters and three minor characters in Chapter One.  Chapter Two will finish with the introduction of the Russian contingent of characters, which will be expanded on in Chapter three - and Natasha won't appear until Chapter Four.  By that time, do you think that all possible relationships will be too firmly established and there just won't be any room for her?  It's a very real problem.  The story would probably work without her and stand up as a comedy/action book - but the story with her might just be enough to add a darker edge to the story.

Seriously, if you've got any thoughts on this at all, I'd love to hear them, as I'm in something of a quandry about it.

Tomorrow sees my second weigh-in at Slimming World.  With all the fruit and veg I'm ploughing through, not to mention the crisps (after this Christmas I am still of the view that if I never eat another crisp again it will be too soon!), chocolate (I don't quite have the same feeling towards chocolate that I do towards crisps, I must admit) and alcohol (I will never view that in the same way as the crisp) I've cut down on, I'm hoping for at least some weight loss this week.  I shall make a full report on Friday.  If I've put any weight on this week it will be a very sad and depressing blog - but expect dancing llamas in sombreros singing La Cucarace if I've lost any weight at all...!