I Wish I Had Something to Say

This is my problem, folks, and I would like to start by way of an apology for no blog on Monday.  I'm just out of stuff to talk about at the moment.  I've even got writer's block on my blog.

It's difficult to find new things to say when you're only really blogging about one thing.  I had a few complaints when I wrote about the stuff I was writing, that nobody was actually interested in that - and that's fair enough, I completely understand that.  The actual, physical, sitting-down-and-typing aspects of writing are extremely boring indeed.  Writing only rates a 'meh' on the Rock'n'Roll Artistic Scale, after all.  It isn't instantaneous enough.  I bore myself about it, so I dread to think how many people I've sent to sleep over my updates on things I'm writing!

So, really, the whole purpose of this blog has been to keep me encouraged while I lose weight.  Losing weight, it turns out, is probably the only thing more boring than writing. 

This is my mindset on the weight loss front:  I need to lose weight.  I am losing weight.  I am doing this by eating more healthy stuff and eating less rubbish.  I have cut out full-sugar Coca-Cola and replaced it with sugar free stuff.  I've cut down my alcohol intake massively.  I do a bit of exercise where I can and when I can be bothered. 

When it comes to chocolate and pizza and beer and crisps and all the things that make life worth living - I will have those things.  I will.  When I've lost the weight.  If I get a craving for something, I think about something else.  I'm very tough with myself and I don't mind that because I know *eventually* it will be worth it and any self-deprivation is only temporary.  It comes down to this - I would rather be able to fit into lovely clothes than eat chocolate.  When I'm thinner I'll be able to fit into lovely clothes AND eat chocolate - so if I have to miss out for 8-10 months, that's fine by me.

A lot of people have asked me if I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 2 1/2 stone.   I'm not.  I'll be happy when it's over and when I've done it.  But at the moment I just want to get there.  There's no point in being proud of myself when I haven't actually achieved anything yet.  I haven't given up, which is good.  But that's probably about it. 

Having said that, I am so happy that so many people are proud of me, and that everyone's saying such lovely things about my progress so far.  It helps to keep me going more than any of you realise.  It isn't just me I'll be letting down if I don't do it this time - it's family, friends, complete strangers who have started reading the blog - and not forgetting the llamas!  Ricardo will be heartbroken!  It's pressure, but it's a nice pressure, and one that I'm very grateful for.  I love that people care about me enough to talk to me about it and ask me questions about how I'm getting on and how I'm feeling.  Focussed.  That's how I'm feeling.  I've still got my game face on for this thing.  I'm going to do it.  Even if it takes longer than I'd like, I'm going to do it.  I've had enough of feeling physically sick every time I walk past a reflective surface and get a glimpse of myself. 

So, nothing to worry about really.  Everything's okay - but nothing's happened that requires reporting on.  Everything's still the same, I'm still attempting to go forward in the war on obesity.  I've got a bit of writer's block which is really annoying me, but it'll clear eventually.  I'm not stuck to a deadline or anything.  In short, and for a person with nothing to say, I do realise this blog entry's gone on for about a year - although I'm absolutely fine and there's nothing the matter and I'm not about to go out and consume my body weight in fried chicken, I'm just feeling a bit nothing-ish at the moment.  But it's just a blip and I'll get over it.

I promise I'll be less miserable and grumpy next time - so please join me again on Friday.  Hopefully I'll have got the 2 1/2 stone shiny sticker and certificate by then and the llamas will put on a fiesta that will blow your minds!!